Friday, July 29, 2005

Morning of pampering

Yesterday I landed up going home before lunch as I had such a headache – actually I wasn’t even going to go to work in the first place but I had to get the Fiji accounts and budgets sorted out so as soon as that was finished I left. Phoned my folks to see if they could arrange for their chiro to see me as mine is a bit of a hike away. They did and he could – what a relief after he had adjusted me. Went home and spent the afternoon on the bed before K got home and I had to take her to the mall to get the things she needed for the second half of her athletics carnival. She was all nervous this morning saying one of the teachers had walked past her yesterday and said “We are all counting on you tomorrow” – I told her (as we always do) to just do her best – as long as she has given it her best shot, we are proud of her achievements so she went off to school this morning feeling a bit better.
She was supposed to go to the school disco tonight but a couple of them have decided to have a sleep over instead sooooooooo I will be all by myself tonight. She was already in bed last night when she lifted her head up and asked “Mom, will you be alright by yourself because I can tell Bianca I can’t make it if you would like me to stay with you” – told her I would be fine. Then she said “What about muffins tomorrow morning ? Will you be alright to buy just one ?” Told her I would be fine and that I would take my book and sit and watch the people and just enjoy myself.
Then I got to thinking – I got a gift voucher for my birthday from Al’s brother and family so thought I would see if I could make an appointment for tomorrow morning while K is at her friend’s house – that way I could go there without feeling guilty about leaving K on her own. So phoned this morning and am booked in for an hour facial and an hour massage – how cool is that going to be ???????????????? I can’t wait !!!!! Probably won’t have time for my muffin – oh well, some sacrifices have to be made for the good of the cause !!!!!!! Maybe I could get the muffin as a take away and eat it on the way – cancel that idea – I want to enjoy it not just scoff it down in the car – maybe we can do muffins on Sunday. The trouble with that is my body will think it is Saturday because we ALWAYS have muffins on Saturday !!! Imagine not coming in to work on Monday and when they ask why tell them “But my body thought it was Sunday” !!!!!
On the food front – I was way under points yesterday – probably because I spent the best part of the afternoon on the bed but will save them as my friend Andrea is coming around tomorrow night for dinner with her sister and her brother – should be a good evening plus I am sure that I will enjoy cooking seeing as it has been a while since I did any entertaining !!!
Haven’t done any exercise this week apart from pilates and 12 hours of packing shelves – maybe I will get around to some on the weekend but am not going to be busting a gut putting pressure on myself about it. I believe that our bodies tell us when they have had enough and my headache yesterday was the first sign for me to take things a little more easily.
Am going to my folks for dinner tonight – Mom asked what would be my favourite thing to have – really wanted to say PIZZA but said chicken and veggies !!!! Dad cooks some mean chicken on the Weber – I miss Al not being at home to do it. I can’t be bothered making a fire to cook for the two of us (apart from the fact that I have absolutely no idea of how to operate his Weber – how many coals to stick in, how long to cook the chicken for, should the lid be on or off , should the valve thing be open or shut, or how long it would take me to get all of the above done !!!) Anyway, won’t be staying there too late as I am going to go home, run a lovely bath, use some of my birthday smellies, take the phone off the hook, get my book and take a nice long uninterrupted bath without someone calling out to me for something !!!!! I am so looking forward to it already !!!!
I seem to have rambled on about nothing here today – hope you all have a fantastic weekend – take care and be good !!!!

Remember you are the one who makes the choices about what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve that goal - if you are going to do something you know you shouldn't, ask yourself if postponing your goal is worth making the wrong choice, if it is - enjoy what you are doing. If it isn't, try to make a better choice. At the end of the day, I guess I am just saying "Do the best that you can and make the best informed decision that you can."

TFTD : Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.

TIAGF : The opportunity to take a long, uninterrupted soak in the bath and read my book

Thursday, July 28, 2005

No more photos .... yet

So much for "more photos to follow" the other night - it seems as though I can only upload one photo a night and that takes me ages anyway !!! Will just keep at it until I either get them loaded or give up - whichever comes first !!! It is very frustrating - almost as much as the trouble that Al and I have had lately trying to talk on Skype !!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are hoping it has something to do with the fact that I have used up my ADSL allocation (or whatever it is called) for the month and from next month are moving to a higher / bigger (whatever the word is) plan - the one guy in Taiwan with him seems to think that that is the problem. Lucky it wasn't like this the first night otherwise we would never have bothered with it again !!!!!
Am off to work now so take care everyone and have a fantastic Friday !

What I have realised

The other night I was sitting at home having a pity party by myself I started to think about my weight loss – well that made it even worse because (being the “hard on myself” person that I am) I felt that I hadn’t lost enough weight and was just fiddle farting around and not getting a move on with things. The long and the short of that night was I went to bed feeling rather lousy.
Yesterday when I popped out at lunch time I happened to catch sight of myself in a shop window (yes, those things that we all avoid at any cost !!) – and I stopped and went back (because I had walked past a few steps by the time the realization sank in) – I have lost weight and my butt is definitely not as big as it used to be. When I got home I pulled out my WW book and had a look back to when I went back to following the programme in April – then I worked out that I had lost just on 8kgs since then (which is about 0.6kg per week) and wondered why on earth I was thinking that it wasn’t coming off fast enough. I know that we never think it is fast enough of us but considering the two week holiday and the 40th birthday I didn’t think that I had done too badly.
At the end of the day there will always be people who are better off than us, but, there will always be people who are having a worse time than we are - I am grateful that I am somewhere in the middle.
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : Fifty years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child.
(I have a framed posted with this hanging in my kitchen and I love to stand there having a drink of water and reading it – no matter that I know it by heart, I still enjoy reading it)

TIAGF : A wonderful daughter, who never keeps quiet for a minute

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Not much news

Nothing much to tell you from the past two days – been as busy as anything – seems like there is heaps to do at home although K has had assignments to work on and I have needed to help her with some of that so that takes up quite a bit of time. I usually post this at lunch time but yesterday was busy with my thank you cards and so didn’t get a chance – not that there was much to say !!!!
Waterwise I haven’t been very good – have been having some water to drink during the day at work but not enough. I went to pilates last night and had a good work out – I did think that I would have felt it this morning but it wasn’t too bad.
Am really missing Al – could just eat anything and everything BUT, so far have managed to curb those actions !!!! I am on track with points although haven’t had much in the way of veggies this week – did have a lovely salad and ham sandwich (which I made at 11.30pm last night !) and it was full of lettuce and carrots. K wanted tomato and cucumber on her sandwich but I don’t like them because they make the bread go soggy (especially when you make them the night before !!!) Also want to try to make Mel’s point free pumpkin soup on the weekend – I love pumpkin soup and so could have that as a snack and take care of some veggie servings each day.
Oh yes – Kaitlin had the first half of her athletics carnival yesterday (she is in 11 events over the 2 days) – these are her results :1st 100m, 1st hurdles, 2nd shot putt, 3rd 1500m, 3rd discus, 4th long jump
As you can imagine she is as pleased as punch with herself. I am very proud of her as she doesn’t enjoy athletics and I was so surprised when she told me she was in so many events – she said that nobody else wanted to participate in some of them and so she said she would as she didn’t want to let the house down by not having anyone in a particular event. I thought she would be trounced by the children from the other houses – looks like she managed to hold her own against them. Needless to say she was exhausted last night – the second half is on Friday so will try to get her to bed earlier on Thursday night.
That’s it for today – am off to get some groceries but will NOT be buying anything that I shouldn’t because I don’t think I can resist the temptation right now and if it is there, I am sure to eat it !!!!

TFTD : When it is time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived.

TIAGF : The good health of our family and friends.

Monday, July 25, 2005

More photos to follow

Well I have managed to get a couple of photos loaded but it is taking too long to do anymore. Will post more when I have more time.

Take care everyone and have a great day !

Some more photos

This is Kaitlin and I just after we got to the restaurant

This is me with my folks

A photo of my placemat

Am just testing this out - tried to load 5 at once but that didn't work so will try to load them a couple at a time.

This is the placemat which my sister-in-law made for me - some scary looking photos.

Please let me know if you can't see this so I can try something else - ta

Gain of 0.1kg

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 71.3kg
Gain for the week : 0.1kg
Loss to date : 14.8kg

What can I say except that I have to get straight back into damage control - have to pleased with that gain after all the celebrations BUT need to make sure that it doesn't catch up with me next week.
Was really annoyed as I made lunches last night and had my lunch box packed and ready this morning with my point friendly snacks and then left it at home !!!! Bugger !!!!
I landed up having a sweet chilli and cheese scroll from Bakers Delight - little bit more appetising than the plain bread roll I was going to get - time didn't permit a whip around Coles to get something more suitable !!!
Anyway - what is done is done and it is no use crying over it - I have had a fantastic past week but it is time to get back to basics (as seems to be the theme through most people's blogs at the moment !!) - maybe it has something to do with the colder weather ??

TFTD : A great man is one who has not lost his childs heart

TIAGF : The fact that Al is in Taiwan in order to allow us the oppotunity to improve our future.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn’t going to post tonight but after the night I had - how can I not tell all of you !!!! (This is going to be a lengthy one (especially for you Kate !) so if you want to go and get something to drink before you start - now is the time to go,
You will have realised by now that I am the queen of the exclamation mark - my e-mails to my folks (or anyone else for that matter) would have been half the length if I had left those pesky exclamation marks out but how would I have been able to express myself without them ???????
Anyway - the title to this post says it all so well !!!
I’ll start at the beginning of the day - actually - I’ll start at yesterday after having got to bed at about 3am - was rudely awakened at 7.45 with a call from my mother-in-law to wish me happy birthday. So, my sleep in for Saturday went out the door. Last night I got to bed at about 2.30am - and was awakened at 7.15 by an SMS someone sent to Al to say Hi - how are you doing even though this person knew he was in Taiwan !!! So, my sleep in for Sunday went out the door as well. Never mind, we got up and went for our walk to Paradise Point - an hour round trip. Stopped to see my folks at the market (they had a dreadful day and didn’t even sell enough stock to pay for their table) and then came home and did my ab exercises (courtesy of M) and my fit ball work out. Then put a load of washing on and after that was out the machine went off to Coles as I had to pick up some safety things from the office.
After that we went to drop off a thank you present for a friends daughter who had given me a whole lot of clothes (Billabong / Roxy / Rusty) for Kaitlin and then to see my friend who had twins in November and a little boy of 2 and a bit - so three kids under the age of 2 ½ (rather her than me !!!!)
Then we came home and I had to sort out some finances before finally having a bath and being able to use my nice new smellies - what a lovely time I had - soaking away (last night I did have a bath but it wasn’t the nice long soak I had been anticipating !!!!!) and reading my book.
Going back about 10 days - Kaitlin asked if we could go out for my birthday - I thought something was up when she asked if we could go out for my birthday on Sunday 24th to Arundel Tavern at 6.30pm - bit too much information for something so far in advance. So I guessed something was up but didn’t know what to expect. Anyway, we were going with my folks and so there was the 4 of us and I thought that she may have invited my brother and his wife and my brother-in-law and his wife. When we got there, she had invited them plus 3 other good friends of mine and their partners and children !!!!!!!!!!! What a surprise I got when we got there and I walked in a saw everyone - it was just lovely !!! We had a fantastic evening - my brother’s wife had helped K organise most of it - there were “40” glitter things on the table - she had a lovely arrangement of flowers on the table - she had got e-mail addresses from a lot of our friends and mailed them asking if they would like to say anything and had printed their replies out - everyone around the table was given one to read and they all read them out for us. It was just amazing. She had made table mats using a collage of photos of me from when I was born to a few years ago when I graduated. My Dad took quite a few photos so when he has downloaded them I will post them for you all to see - have I said this before - it was an amazing evening !!!! She had also arranged for a birthday cake which we cut up and ate after dinner after everyone had sung happy birthday to me and I had blown out the candles (at least I never had to blow out 40 candles - think that there were about 20 on the cake !!!)
It was such a great evening !!! Kaitlin was so pleased with herself for helping to organise it and for keeping it a secret - she really has done such a tremendous job for making my birthday such a special one this year. I, who hate public speaking, felt I wanted to make a speech to thank my sister-in-law for what she had done but more importantly to acknowledge the pride that I felt for Kaitlin and what she had accomplished by herself. While I hate using clichés - she really did step up to the plate while Alan hasn’t been here, in terms of making my 40th birthday one I won’t ever forget. I hope that those of you with children out there are as blessed as I am with my child.
As you can imagine my points will all over the place again today BUT I am determined to be back on track tomorrow. I will be going to weigh in and face the scale (and the gain) and work towards getting it off again at the next weigh in. There were some people there tonight whom I haven’t seen for a while and they couldn’t stop saying how good I was looking - just what I needed to hear BUT I don’t want to become complacent about what I have achieved because I am so close to achieving my long term goal of getting to goal.
On that note I am off to make lunches for tomorrow and will try to have a reasonably early night - at this rate I should be in bed by 12 or 12.30 which will be good ! Will start my damage control tomorrow as I have just realised that I had three birthday lunches, three birthday dinners and three birthday cakes !!! So much for a ‘no fuss 40th birthday’ !!!!! Having said that - I have so enjoyed turning 40 - BRING ON MY 50th !!!!!!!!! (This is the last time I will mention my 40th birthday - I am sure that by now you are all sick and tired of reading about it !!!)

TFTG : You are only young once, the length of time it lasts is up to you.

TIAGF : Our wonderful child who, while she can drive me totally insane at times, has shown me just how much she has grown up and has made me proud of the young lady that she is turning into. I am proud to say she is my daughter.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Back on track

Well not too much to tell you about today - had a dreadful night last night. After one piece of birthday cake turned into two pieces turned into a third piece which then opened the box of chocolates which I got from Coles for my birthday and ate about 10 of them !!!! Really a bad night (well morning really because it was about 2am when this happened). The good thing is that I am back on track (haven't tracked since Wednesday !) today and have put the past behind me.
We went for our weekly Saturday muffin fix this morning - for some reason mine didn't taste as nice as it normally does - maybe because of the sugar fix I had last night ????? We also did some shopping and got some chicken and veggies for stir fry tonight. Then it was off to the library and then back home to do the weekly washing. Am just catching up on some blogs before going to my folks to help them with some of their sewing that they do.
We got some breadrolls for lunch and so I had a WW ham, cheese and salad roll for lunch - am sure I won't be hungry when it is time for dinner - we have to eat early as I have to be at work before 6pm - maybe I will cook and Kaitlin can eat when she is hungry and I will eat when I get home - will see how long I land up helping my folks.
Must try to get back to the exercising - I was doing so well last weekend but this weekend has been a little more difficult with everything else that we have had on. I must say, I don't enjoy being a single parent - it really takes quite a lot of juggling around to make sure everything that is supposed to get done, gets done. The good thing is that I have managed to change my shifts at Coles from 4 x 3 hour shifts (Mon, Wed, Thur, Fri) plus every second Saturday to 3 x 4 hours shifts (Mon, Wed Thurs) plus every second Saturday - that means I will be able to watch the footy on a Friday night !!!!! Most nights we would work 4 - 5 hours anyway so it just means that we have an extra night in the week if we want to do something.
Now I am just rambling so will be saying cheers for now - need to get out into the garden but it is raining on and off and I can't use the electric mower and whipper snipper - hopefully tomorrow it will be fine and I can get it done.

TFTD : All things are possible until they are proved impossible.

TIAGF : The rain which has been falling because it keeps my garden looking lovely without me having to stand and water it.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Thank you !

Thanks again for all those lovely birthday wishes – I had a fantastic day ! With the exception of Al not being able to share it with us, it has probably been one of the best birthdays I have had. I got a lovely surprise when I got back from lunch – there was a lovely bouquet of flowers waiting for me on my desk – from Al and Kaitlin. I sent Al an SMS to thank him for them and he sent back that Kaitlin had done all the organizing for them – when I spoke to her she told me what she had done – such an ingenious child !!!! I was trying to post pictures last night of my spoils but ran out of time so will try to get to it on the weekend (because I can’t remember how I did it last time and will have to go through the whole thing again – bugger – this memory loss in old age really is true !!!)
Foodwise – I had an okay sort of day – small piece of cake at work and two squares of chocolate when I got home from Coles – at least that slab is now gone and I won’t be giving in to temptation when next I am shopping – if it isn’t in the house, I am fine – if it is in the house, sometimes I just can’t help eating it !!!!
Nothing too exciting planned for the weekend – we are off to my folks for dinner tonight. Then tomorrow it will be a day at home (after muffins of course !) catching up on all the chores – inside and outside. Maybe we can do something different on Sunday – will see what happens.
Following on from M’s journal entry during the week re the success of losing weight and staying at goal for people who journal and who list one thing to be grateful for each day – I have decided to add a daily “Grateful List” to my entry. So, along with my TFTD, I will have my TIAGF (Today I am grateful for) entry !!

TFTD : Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

TIAGF : The love and support of my family and friends not only while Al is away, but all the time.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Second post today

I hope that this works as all I have done is cut and paste the mail that I got - I think that all of us know someone who has got or has had breast cancer. If we can do this small thing on a daily basis to help prevent someone else getting breast cancer, we will have done our good deed each day !

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today!

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising. Here
's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

Loss 0.9kg - what a way to start the 40's !!!!

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 71.2kg
Loss for the week : 0.9kg
Loss to date : 14.9kg

As you can see I went to weigh last night – what a wonderful surprise and such a lovely way to end my 39th year and of course, start my 40th !!! I dare say next week won’t be that good but, I have decided that I only turn 40 once and I am going to have a ball !
I had lunch yesterday with a friend and am going to lunch today and tomorrow with friends. Kaitlin and I are meeting my Mom and Dad at Runaway Bay tonight (I promised Kaitlin sushi for dinner after donating blood) and then tomorrow night we are going to my folks for dinner. Sunday night we (Kaitlin and I) will be going out for dinner to celebrate as I mentioned yesterday ! All in all a lot of celebrations (not what I wanted) but have decided that if people want to celebrate with me I shouldn’t be a party pooper and say no !!!!!! Just wish Al was here to share it all – none the less, I will have a blast and just make the best choices that I can along the way.
I have been very spoilt – will take some photos and post them when I get a chance ! I woke up this morning to Kaitlin singing Happy Birthday to me (more asleep than awake but better than waking up and being alone !) – then I had to sit up and close my eyes. First the cards came out – lovely cards from her and Alan and my Canadian friend who had posted me a card which Kaitlin had intercepted in the mail. After I opened my presents, we got up and I had my yoghurt and dried fruit for breakfast and my Mom and Dad arrived with the biggest basket of lovely smellies for me – all in a lavender colour – told them I am going to have the longest bath on Sunday !!!!! There are lotions and creams and bubble bath and bath oil and a neck cushion with little suckers on to stick to the bath, a back cleaner, slippers, pampering gloves, bath salts – all sorts of lovely things. I took a photo of it so will post that at some stage and will also take some photos of my jewellery so you can all see how spoilt I have been.
For those who haven’t turned 40 – don’t be scared, it’s really fun !!!!!! As my sister-in-law keeps telling me, 40 is the new 30, but maybe that has more to do with the fact that she is over 40 !!Take care everyone, have a great day and remember to be good to yourselves !
For the birthday wishes that some of you have left me - THANK YOU so much - it is so lovely to get all these good wishes from all my on-line friends - you are such special people !

TFTD : All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Last post as a 39 year old !

I’m back after an unplanned absence. When I started journaling I made the decision that this would be inspirational and motivating to read (at least most of the time) and, while I don’t mind having the odd whinge about something, I didn’t want to turn it into a pity party. I feel that people have too little spare time as it is without wasting their time reading journals which are not inspiring and, with that in mind coupled with the fact that I have been feeling very sorry for myself I haven’t posted in a while.
That has come to an end now as I have been reading some of my TFTD and realised that it is all about choices, and right now I am choosing to have a positive attitude towards being by myself and being able to cope with what comes up !
So here goes - I managed to stay on track with my food very well until yesterday. I didn’t weigh in this week because Kaitlin and I had tickets for the Delta Goodrem concert on Monday night – what a fantastic evening !!!! Delta is such a great performer and has such a stage presence. She really looked like she wanted to be there and was having so much fun performing. Al and I have been to quite a few rock concerts and there haven’t been many where the performers have been so enthusiastic. Kaitlin just loved it.
She has been wonderful since Al left – doing her chores without me having to ask more than once or twice, getting started on her homework when she gets home from school – not the usual sit and watch TV waiting for someone to get home and tell her to do her homework, working on her assignments without waiting until the day before they are due etc etc – all in all, she has been a lovely child and a pleasure to have around.
I started on the ab exercises as per M’s post from a while ago on Saturday – boy could I feel it the next day. But I have been very good – except didn’t do any Monday night because I worked my lunch hour and left early so that we could get up to Brisbane for the show. Last night I went to pilates and we did different ab exercises – was going to do them when I got home but got side tracked with washing and some other chores and so didn’t manage to get around to them but I didn’t feel too bad as I had already have an hours exercise at pilates.
Yesterday we were called into a meeting at 10.30 only to find it was a surprise morning tea for two of turning 40 on Thursday – the other lady is the payroll lady who only works part time and won’t be in on Thursday – that was sort of the start of my undoing ! Lots of lovely eats which I managed to stay away from but then they brought out the marble mud cake and I couldn’t resist some – then they gave me some to take home for Kaitlin but what a big piece – I couldn’t let her eat it all by herself so I had some after dinner. That lead to some chocolate which I should never have bought in the first place which lead to more chocolate a little while later in between getting a load into the machine and another out the dryer and folded. No point in dwelling too much on it – I’ve eaten it and it is over.
I am going to weigh tonight although am not too confident as, although I have been within my points, I know that I have had too many sugar points. For all that I said I didn’t want any fuss for my birthday I have got three lunches this week (today, tomorrow and Friday). Kaitlin has asked if we could go out for my birthday on Sunday (I’m working all the other nights) so I said yes and it will be a celebration for her as well as she made her house trials for the 100m, 200, 400, 800, 1500, high jump, long jump, shot putt, discus and javelin for the sports carnival. Tomorrow night I am donating blood at 6.10pm (you have to book a bed to donate now) and then I think that Kaitlin and I will go to the local centre and have some sushi before going home, getting her to bed and going off to work. Mom and Dad are a little disappointed we aren’t going there for dinner but there just isn’t enough time in the day. They want to sleep over tonight so that they can wish me when I wake up – I said that they were more than welcome to stay or they could just pop over in the morning (they stay about 5kms away from us) so will chat to them later today and see what they want to do.

Had better get back to work - heaps of catching up to do after month end before the next one comes around !
Take care everyone, be good and look after yourselves !

TFTD : There is no failure, only delays on the road to success.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Dreadful day

Having a shocking day today - got to work this morning to find that our bank account was overdrawn because the bank didn't transfer funds from our investment account as requested - luckily it wasn't my fault but I still had an "Oh shit" moment when the lady who reconciles the account told me we were overdrawn ! Then I was looking for a journal and knocked a full glass of water on my desk - so there was a mess everywhere. Went to Kim's funeral at 11am - this may sound a little strange, but it was a lovely service - not that I have many to compare it too. But three of his nephews read out poems and e-mails / letters and one of his brothers-in-law did the eulogy which was very good. I don't know how anyone can talk at a funeral.
Now I just want to stuff my face with any sweet thing I can find - I have had some fruit and nuts but I don't know how long I can last. Part of me knows that eating isn't going to make me feel any better - the short term satisfaction is long outweighed by the long term disappointment. So far I have resisted but I don't know if I can manage to keep this up for much longer. I am feeling really drained today and just want to eat, eat, eat - and not carrot sticks either !!!! My eyes are burning and my heart is heavy. Sorry to be moaning today and not having anything inspiring for anyone except hang in there and take care ! I will try to take my own advice today and be good.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Twice in one day

Am sitting here getting rather frustrated - have received some e-mails from Al but can't manage to get hold of him on a telephone - and, I really want to talk to him.
Anyway, haven't had the best day today - points wise I was doing great until we got home. We had a check up with the dentist this afternoon - luckily neither of us needed any work done. Will have to keep an eye on K's back teeth - she came with as she has one which aches with sweet or cold things. The x-rays picked up that she still has a baby tooth and the dentist said that he thinks it will be at least another year before it is ready to come out - she will be 14 and still have a baby tooth !! Mind you, she was nearly 18 months before she got her first tooth - we had to take her to the dentist to find out if she actually had any teeth as everyone else's kids had teeth - she was walking and running around with no teeth !!! Maybe that will account for her keeping them so long - the dentist assured us that the longer they have their baby teeth the better it is for them.
We decided to have grilled fish and chips for dinner tonight as the local shop has a special on Monday and Tuesday - last night I had made a pasta dish out of a WW magazine so we had the fish tonight. It was probably the best piece of fish I have had in I don't know how long BUT I did also have some of K's chips - which was okay as I counted them in. Last night I had bought a Boost - they are the yummiest chocs I have had in ages - well I ate one section last night and put the other piece in the fridge for K. I didn't tell her it was there and after she went to bed tonight I sat watching the cricket and ate it myself. Then I worked out the points -bloody hell 5 points for this teeny tiny bit of chocolate !!!! But, too late to do anything about it so I have written it in my tracker and will have to do some damage control with my sweet points this week.
Then I got to thinking of ways to make my points (and more importantly, sugar points) go further and came up with these options :
- if you dont' write what you eat in your tracker, the points don't count
- if you buy something for someone else and then eat it yourself, you don't have to count the points
- if you buy something and eat it before you get it home or back to work, you don't have to count those points either
- if you buy something and nobody you know sees you eating it, you don't have to count the points
- if, when you have finished eating something, you realise that you didn't really feel like eating it in the first place and only ate it because it was there, you don't have to count the points
- if you eat something and don't enjoy it, you don't have to count the points
- if you go somewhere and someone offers you something to eat and they aren't a WW member, you don't have to count the points
- anything I have eaten after midnight last night and before midnight tonight, doesn't count towards any points tally which I am supposed to be keeping
- if I eat while standing up, I don't have to count the points of the food consumed while standing - only count the points eaten when I am actually sitting down and eating
-whatever you eat while you are drinking water, doesn't count towards your daily points
-if you imagine you are eating a carrot stick when, in fact you are eating a chocolate / biscuit / piece of cake, the points for that don't count. It is the points value for the food you are imagining which count, not the food you are actually eating.
I think that with using the above, I could probably make my points last a lot longer than the do at the moment.

I have managed to drink my water for the past two days - not the full 2L each day but at least 1L per day - not the best I know, but at least it is an improvement on no water at all. I was going to start the ab exercises after pilates tonight but think that I will give it a miss and maybe try to do it tomorrow night after the hair dresser. We will be having left over pasta and veggie soup for dinner so I don't have to cook - only re-heat - yay for left overs !!!!!! I used to hate having leftovers as a kid - now I can understand why my Mom always liked to have a leftovers night.
I have a dreadful headache - I thought it may have been because I was hungry before I went to pilates but, after having eaten my dinner and the Boost, I have still got the headache so may try to call Al again and if I can get hold of him I will talk to him and if I can't I am going to have a soak in the bath and an early night (bearing in mind the best laid plans of mice and men often don't come to fruitition !!!)

TFTD : The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.

11.15pm - Al managed to get hold of me earlier to tell me that they are going out to having something to eat and I should phone him at the hotel at 11.30 - yay, I can talk to him again. I haven't spoken to him since Sunday morning and it has been just dreadful !!!
1.00am - YAY for Skype and the Internet - have just spent a wonderful 90 minutes talking to Al - it was great. Took a bit to get it up and running (we were on the landline to start with) but when it was working, it was a lot clearer talking to him through Skype than it was on the landline. At least now we know we can talk for as long as we want / can for free - can't beat that can you ??????
Have a great day everyone and take care !

Loss of 1.4kg

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 72.2kg
Loss for the week : 1.4kg
Loss to date : 14.0kg

(Only 5.1kg to go to get back to goal !!!)

Well I am very pleased with my result from last night - managed to lose all I had put on over the two weeks in one week plus a little more - have to be happy with that !!!!!

Three names I go by:

1. Mom
2. Love

3. Linda

Three screen names I’ve had:
1. Linda

Three physical things I like about myself:

1. My hair (more when it is longer as it is lovely and thick)
2. My feet
3. Myself (now I am nearly at goal)

Three physical things I don’t like about myself:
1. My nails (used to be really lovely until about 6 months ago)
2. My stomach
3. My butt

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Scottish
2. Basutuland
3. South African

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. Thick soaks
2. Comfy slippers
3. Size 12 jeans

Three favorite bands/musical artists:
1. Cher
2. Bryan Adams
3. Enya
(not necessarily my favourites –just the ones I can think of now !!)

Three favorite songs:
1. Lady in Red – Chris de Burgh (our wedding song)
2. River Deep, Mountain High – Tina Turner
3. How Can We Be Lovers – Michael Bolton

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Friendship
2. Love
3. Honesty

Two truths and a lie:
1. I climbed the Matterhorn mountain in South Africa - twice !
2. I have had some strange diseases
3. I used to play netball in SA.

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
1. Good, strong stomach
2. Sparkley eyes
3. Strong arms

Three favorite hobbies:
1. Blogging
2. Reading
3. Cycling (when I get a chance)

Three things I want to do badly right now:
1. Have Al back home
2. Get a decent nights sleep (not likely to happen ‘til he gets home !)
3. Have no financial worries

Three things that scare me:
1. Losing those closest and dearest to me
2. Snakes
3. Starting my own business as a reflexologist

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Vaseline intensive hand cream
2. Moisturiser
3. Hair gel

Three Careers you have considered or are considering:
1. Reflexologist
2. Reflexologist
3. Reflexologist
(Yes, that is something that I REALLY want to do – in case you weren’t sure !!)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Egypt
2. Back to USA with Kaitlin this time
3. Europe

Three kids’ names you like:
1. Haven’t thought about kids names for 13 years and can’t think of any that I really like

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Travel
2. Get to goal weight and stay there
3. Start my own reflexology business

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1. I hate shopping
2. I channel surf with the TV remote
3. I never wear dresses or skirts

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I enjoy making my home feel lived in and inviting
2. I throw like a girl
3. I like my hair to be neat and in place

Three celeb crushes:
1. Al – he’s played sport for South Africa so I consider him a celebrity !!!!
2. Magnum PI (when I was a kid !!)

3. Dr Carter from ER

TFTD : The best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched but are felt in the heart.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Thank you

Thanks everyone for your kind comments and suggestions. I did try to phone Andrea on Friday but she wasn’t answering either of the phones so I just left messages telling her I was thinking of her and had wanted to say Hi. We did manage to catch up with her on Saturday when Al got a chance to say goodbye to some friends of ours which was great for all. I just hugged her and we both cried and then we sat and chatted away about nothing in particular. Every now and again she would say “Kim would have been fascinated with that” and we would move onto something else. It was good to see her. I called her today to see if she wanted to catch a movie with K and I but they were having a family gathering so at least she wasn’t at home by herself.
Kate, this one is for you because I think it will be a long one !!!! Unfortunately it is a little all over the place but my mind isn’t really focussed on anything right now.
There were a lot of snot and trane (tears) from me today having to say goodbye to Al – I am really not very good at goodbyes especially not with him !!! K has been so good – she was comforting me and hugging me and telling me how much she loved me all day – long may it continue. After we left the airport, we stopped at Logan to have our weekly muffin (we didn’t have them yesterday as we were too busy !) and bought some for my folks who were doing a market on Mt Tamborine. Boy was it cold today – the wind chill factor must have been about -1000 degrees !!!! It was just freezing. So we stopped off at my folks to see how they were doing (sadly, not very well) and stayed there for about 11/2 hours before coming home. Did two loads of washing before going and doing some grocery shopping and then took K to see Bewitched – it was a lovely, light-hearted movie – great entertainment.
K has been very good today – when we got home she unpacked the dishwasher and then emptied the bins (her two chores) without me having to even ask – WHAT A PLEASURE !!! Hope she keeps it up. She has been busy grating carrots, slicing cucumbers, tomatoes and cheese to take to school to make salad sandwiches for lunch – may pinch some for myself as it looks so good !!
On the food, water and exercise front I have been good, bad and bad !! I have managed to stay well within my points this week (a fact I am more proud of because of the week that we have had and even more so the weekend we have had) but have done dismally on the water front for the weekend and the exercise front for the whole week !!!! I suppose I can beat myself up over it or just accept that sometimes I can’t achieve everything I set out to achieve – think I will go with the second option and accept that I am doing the best that I can in the circumstances that I have (without using them as an excuse !) I am going to have some point free veggie soup with toast for dinner tonight and maybe a hot WW dessert as I have sugar points I haven’t used yet !!!
Al wanted to take me out for my birthday dinner on Friday night and I really wasn’t up to going out after the day I had had at work so we compromised and went to the Parkwood Tavern and had chicken burger and chips (only a couple). I really wanted their vegetable filo parcels but they don’t have them anymore – bugger !!!! Everyone is telling me I have to have a birthday dinner and nobody seems to understand that, while I am so looking forward to turning 40, I don’t want any fuss plus I have to work and don’t want to have to rush a meal because I have to get to work – hopefully I will be able to convince my folks that I DON’T WANT A DINNER !!! Maybe they will accept me having it on the following Sunday.
Mel, thanks for tagging me – will post it tomorrow as I still have heaps of mail to send out tonight.
This past week I had two people give me compliments – Martine called me skinny when we caught up on the day we heard that Kim had died and, my brother-in-law (whom I wouldn’t have thought would have even noticed) commented on how much weight I had lost. These are the first two compliments I have received (apart from Al who is rather biased !) since I have been back on WW and were sooooooo welcome – it was great !
Take care everyone and have a great week.

TFTD : There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.

Friday, July 08, 2005

I feel like cr*p

Woke up this morning feeling really crappy and then realised that Andrea will be feeling worse. This led me back to what I had been thinking when I was packing last night – we had been to have dinner with my folks as their video wasn’t working and Al had said that he would have a look to see if he could find out what the problem was (he is very good with things like that) and we had the TV on and heard the news re the bomb blasts in London. My heart just went out to all those people – not only the ones who have been injured but to the families all over the world who now sit and wait to hear from their loved ones. I had been thinking about Kim and feeling really guilty because we didn’t visit as much as we could have – he was in hospital in Brisbane – a round trip of about 2 ¼ hours. I started mailing them about every second day and then it was twice a week and then once every two weeks and, apart from the e-mail I sent out to everyone re our holiday I can’t remember when last I mailed them – when this was happening I kept on saying “Tomorrow I’ll do it” but tomorrow just never came, and now for Kim, there are no more tomorrows. There was always something happening or we were busy with something else or just rushing around like chooks with our heads chopped off. Now when I think back – there really was no excuse – I COULD have made the time if I had just made a little more effort and because I didn’t, I now have this heavy heart because I could have brightened someone’s day and I didn’t. I have been a coward as well as I haven’t phoned Andrea to talk to her – I have sent SMS and I have mailed her but I just can’t bring myself to pick up the phone, knowing that I am going to be the one to make her cry again. There is a possibility that she will be coming over tomorrow with some other friends to say goodbye to Al but if she doesn’t, I will try to catch up with her on Sunday after we have taken Al to the airport.
Take care everyone – give those close to you an extra special hug and kiss next time you see them – I know that is what I am going to be doing.
I am sorry that this isn’t very motivating or inspirational but it is just something that I needed to get down on paper and remind myself of in the future – there is NOTHING more important than those we love - NOTHING

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains
As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits
As long as we have friendship, today is beautiful

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Big Bugger and Help !!!!!

32 – 10
Well that was a bit of a hiding, don’t you think ????? I don’t suppose there is much use in crying over spilt milk (or should that be lost game and lost series !!) I didn’t land up watching any of the game as we had to work from 8pm – 12 – normally we watch the first half, go to work and tape the second half and then watch that when we get home. I heard at work that we were 32 – 0 down but didn’t hear the final score before we left but, instead of sitting down with some munchies to watch, I had a shower and went to bed and heard the score this morning when I asked Al as he had stayed up and watched it.
Now for the help request – can anyone help with advice on how to blow up a fit ball ?? I took it out last night – all excited that I was going to use it – neither Al nor I could get it up. There seems to be all sorts of little attachments for the pump, but we couldn’t work out how to use them. I now have this flat bit of plastic on my lounge room floor with the pump and nozzles next to it and I am no closer to being able to use it than I was on Monday when I bought it. We even went to the servo to use the air pump there but that didn’t’ work. Then we ran out of time – starting work at 8pm makes the evening really short so we landed up having some frozen dinners as I only got home from work at about 6.15 and by the time we have fiddled around with the ball and I had sorted out some financial stuff that just couldn’t wait, I didn’t have much time for anything else – all I can say is thank goodness for frozen meals otherwise it would have been take-aways and I would have blown my points. I also had some point free veggie soup which my parents had made and left in our fridge – it was lovely. I have brought some in for morning or afternoon tea as they left a huge tupper container.
Last night when I was shopping I saw these Fruit and Nut snacks by the dried fruit. There are 3 different combinations – the highest was 4.5 points per serve, then I think the next was 3 or 3.5 and the one which I landed up buying was 2 points per serve. They come in a box of 6 serves – I thought I would have to measure the serves out but they are individually wrapped so great to grab and bring to work or keep in your bag for emergencies. The serves aren’t terribly big and I am sure that there will be days when I look at the serve and say “No, don’t want to spend 2 points on that” but I did have a packed when I got home last night and it was delicious. The variety I got is cashew blend – a mix of cashew nuts (my absolute favourite nut), apple, apricot and sultanas.
We got some really sad news yesterday – our friend Kim who has been battling leukemia since February last year, died yesterday. I haven’t been able to get hold of Andrea to see how she is – I think that she will have been heavily sedated. We don’t know too much about what happened as another friend of ours got a phone call to say that he had died as Andrea was supposed to be meeting her for lunch and obviously wasn’t going to get down to the Coast. He has been in Brisbane since it happened except for one or two weekends when he was able to come home – it has been a very exhausting time for his family and it is just so sad but I think that with all he has been through, his body just said enough is enough – he has had bone marrow transplant, quite a few heart attacks, so many operations – it really has been a very hard time for time. We will miss him so much and, as they are from England, I think that Andrea will return to her family there which means we will miss her also.

TFTD : One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Go the Maroons !

I don’t know how much of a chance we have against the Blues tonight – hope we whip them but I have my doubts that that will happen !!!! At the end of the day, just hope that it is a good game to watch – for anyone watching – enjoy the game.
I went to pilates last night – who would have thought that I could have lost so much flexibility in 2 weeks !!!!!!! Exercises which I used to sail through were really rather difficult last night – oh well, that’s what happens when you go on holiday !
Found out that the ball that I have is the right size for me – apparently you measure it by sitting on it and your knees must be at right angles to your body (does that make sense ?) So, will blow mine up tonight and start using it especially with Origin on – I can practice (because I know I will have to in order to be able to sit on it before I can start doing any exercises !) sitting on it while watching the first half of Origin before we go to work.
Well that is about all for today – am having another good day, on track and drinking my water – just need to get some exercise tonight and I will be very happy with my day !
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : I have discovered that I always have choices and sometimes it is only a choice of attitude.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Gain 1.3kg

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 73.5kg
Gain for the week : 1.3kg
Loss to date : 12.6kg

I NEVER thought I would be happy to say that I had a gain of 1.3kg – but I am !!!! It is definitely a lot less than I thought it would be and I am thinking that because it went on over a short period of time, it really should be able to come off over a short period of time (here’s hoping anyway !!)
As I said yesterday, I have decided not to stress over it – my clothes still fit me, my work pants still look fine without me having to have to go up a size (the clothes in my cupboard range from size 12 through to size 20), my casual clothes (jeans) are still fine and more importantly, I don’t feel like I have turned back into a fat, frumpy and soon to be 40 year old !!!!!
I bought one of those exercise balls yesterday but then left it at work which wasn’t the brightest thing I have done so couldn’t get started on it last night. Tonight I have got pilates and, as Kaitlin is staying over with my folks for the night, Al said that we should go out for dinner. I will only have a main course and no desserts so that should make it a little better than going the whole hog !!
I was looking at the instructions in the exercise ball when I was standing in the store trying to decide what size ball I need to buy (does anyone know if there is a right or wrong size ?) and thought that if I go to pilates once a week (am waiting to see what my increase is and whether or not I can afford to go twice a week), the gym at home plus the ab workout from M alternating with the exercise ball plus the ab workout from M – I may be able to tone my body more than exercise it but I think that it what I am looking for – of course whether I will be able to organize all that with having to do everything at home while Al is away is another story. But, if I don’t aim higher enough, I’ll never know. What I do know is that I won’t be too hard on myself if I don’t manage to achieve all of the above because I know it is going to be difficult with Al away . Now I don’t know if it is because we have been together for so long but when he is not there I feel really strange – it is hard to explain but I just know that I don’t feel right.
Well had better get on with work – thought I would get this posted early as I don’t know if I am going to have a chance later.
Take care everyone and have a great week !

TFTD : Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Back on track

After a rather disastrous weekend food / water /exercise wise, I am back on track with my weight loss journey. It was all just too hard to get back into the swing of things and my folks had left a lasagna for us for Friday night which we didn’t eat but had on Saturday and Sunday night – water was zero and the lollies which we hadn’t eaten from holiday were calling while we were watching TV – all in all a rather dismal attempt at getting back on track as soon as we got home !!!
But, the main thing is that I am there now – have had just over 1L of water so far, plus some fruit and my sandwich for lunch. Don’t know if I will get any exercise in tonight but we are packing from 9pm – 1am so will definitely get a bit of a work out then if I don’t get to do anything else.
Work feels as though I was never away – except for the pile of work I have to get through and the reams of e-mails I have to reply to – pretty much what I would have expected after having been off for 2 weeks.
Will be off to weigh tonight to see the damage done by the holiday – I was up to 74.8kgs on my scales this morning so will have to wait to see what they say. I have decided that I am not going to stress over whatever the gain is – I had a great holiday and, while there were times when I was happy to do without, there were times when I didn’t feel like I should do without and accepted that I would just need to work harder when we got home to lose what I put on and then the last couple of kgs to get to goal. Will let you know how I went tomorrow when I post.
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

I'm back

Well – after a wonderful holiday I’m back !! We had a fantastic time away. The good thing was that I left weighing 70.6kg (on my scales) at 4am on 18th and got back yesterday (Friday 1st July) at about 4pm – haven’t jumped on the scales yet but will do so in the morning. (Weighed in at 73.1kg on my scale - will post the official gain after I have been to weigh on Monday) One positive is that my size 12 jeans still fit me !!!!!! I wore them tonight when we went out to dinner with my folks and they weren’t uncomfortable at all.
If anyone wants to hear the ins and outs of our holiday, please let me have your e-mail address and I will forward you the mail that I am sending out to friends and families telling them of the fantastic time we had away ! We drove 3,604 kms and spent I don’t know how many hours in the car, about 12 hours on boats/ferries getting between the islands, we drove around in a golf buggy for 2 hours, we snorkeled, we swam, we went in the spa, we walked, we played tennis, we played table tennis, we played pool, we lay in the hammock (not often enough and not long enough !!!), we shopped, we went to a movie, we ate, we drank and we made merry !!! All in all we had a great time away.
I made some great choices while we were away and I made some really crappy choices as well !!! I guess that is to be expected when you go away on holiday. We had quite a few chicken and salad rolls for lunch / dinner but also had lollies and ice-creams as well as the desserts for lunch and dinner while on the island. We also did the pizza thing for dinners as well – boy did I enjoy those !!!! We did quite a bit of walking while we were away which was good – there were times when I really wanted to just curl up on the bed or the hammock with my book but I put my shoes on and went off walking with Al to counteract the effects of all the eating I was doing ! I was very bad with my water but will get back into it once I am back at work – how quickly the two weeks have gone !!
I was so pleased that I had made the effort to lose weight before we left – while I wasn’t happy with how I looked in a wetsuit, I thanked myself for the hard work I had done and that I wasn’t 14kgs heavier and wearing a wetsuit !!! I was comfortable with wearing my togs to go swimming and felt good when just walking around in my jeans or long shorts. It is really thanks to the support and inspiration of all of you out there that I was able to do this and I know that it won’t take me long to lose whatever I have put on and then get rid of these last few kgs to get to goal again. Thanks again everyone !!!!!
I will be catching up on journals over the weekend as I am not expecting to be able to get onto the net much when I get back to work as I have so much to catch up on and, of course, it is month end again – how quickly does that come around ????Take care everyone and enjoy the rest of your weekend. (It is now 3am on Saturday and I am typing this up while watching some re-runs of Wimbledon due to the second semi-final being delayed due to rain – I will post this into my blog tomorrow as K is fast asleep and I don’t want to disturb her !)

TFTD : To accomplish great things, you must not only act, but dream; not only plan, but believe.