Friday, June 17, 2005

Thank goodness .......

Al took K to the dr yesterday - she doesn't have glandular fever !!! What a relief ! Am not sure what it was - dr said must have just been a viral thing (isn't that what they all say when they don't know something ????)
Anyway, today is here - I am at work trying frantically to get everything done - tax returns, reports run for May accounts and then sent out to campuses, Fiji accounts sorted out - and all those other good things that go with going on leave for two weeks - I keep saying to them that I will be back as I am sure there are things they are asking for which could wait !!!!!! At least we aren't working at Coles tonight so that is a bonus - I might even be able to get a chance to pack !!!!!!
My folks arrive back from their little holiday to Cairns so can't wait to see them tonight - mind you, it won't be for long as we also have to catch up with a guy getting back from Taiwan tonight to hopefully find out some more info re the contract for Al. Looks like he will be going at this stage - not something I want to think about just yet.
Yesterday was just a shocking day all round - everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong - work was just dreadful - the good news was about K so that was great. Foodwise - again, as it seems to be the only thing I have control over, I kept control over it although there were a few occasions when the snack machine was really shouting out my name !!!!! And, the biscuits (in the shops because if they had been in the office or the house I would definitely have answered) were just begging to be eaten - why is it that when things are a little difficult we think that if we eat something it will make it all better ??? Sort of like when your child cries you kiss the sore and say "There there it will be fine" - at least I have come to the realisation that if I eat when things are difficult, it just makes them more difficult because then I have to try to lose the excess weight I put on by eating when I didn't need to - I guess I should be proud of that !

TFTD : We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens within us, how we can take it, what we can do with it, and that is what really counts in the end.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

The "What if" game

Well what can I say – we are no more knowledgeable about anything than we were yesterday. We are still waiting to hear K’s results. Couldn’t get hold of the guys in Taiwan last night so spent a sleepless night playing the “What if” game – not my most pleasant past time !! I never used to sleep much (one of the reasons for getting a second job) but at least then I was only lying awake wondering how I was going to pay all the bills .I think that the main reason for my staying in control of what is eat is exactly that – it is the one thing that I can control – everything else happening in my life at the moment is out of my control to a certain extent whereas I have total control over what goes into my mouth (plus the fact that I have these size 12 jeans which I want to fit into when we are away and more importantly, when we get back !!)
On that note, I will be saying going as I am hoping to get the final few entries for the May accounts, get the tax done and then all the reports run – not the most pleasant task ahead but what can you do. Won’t be taking a lunch hour today as I have to leave work early to get rid of the winter coat before we go to Airlie Beach – can’t be walking around all hairy in my togs and boardies !!!! Then we are off to chiro – desperately needed at the moment and then off to work – last night tonight until 4th July – wooohoooooooooo !
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Quick post

Sorry - not much time for anything - am still trying to get the accounts done. They were all completed and then one of the managers remembered an entry for $162k which I have to process in May which means all the accounts will change and I will have to re-run 50 million bloody reports AGAIN !!! It is so annoying !
Anyway, K is still not well - has slept since Al collected her yesterday from school. I have just got back from taking her to the dr - she may have glandular fever so we took her off for blood test and have to go back to the dr tomorrow afternoon for the results - just what we need three days before going on holiday !!! She is okay -just tired and sleeping lots.
I have still managed to eat within my points and not hit the biscuits and chocolates to help me going - for which I am very grateful to myself - I don't want to start my holiday on the wrong foot !
Will post again when I get a minute.
Take care everyone and be good !

TFTD : Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Loss this week - 0.1kg

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 72.2kg
Loss for the week : 0.1kg
Loss to date : 13.9kg

Well I did go to weigh last night and lost 0.1 which sees me 0.2 short of the goal I set myself before we went on holiday. I was rather disappointed with this when I was driving home as it is definitely short of my 0.5kg per week goal I set myself a while ago. Then I got to thinking and remembered something I had read somewhere – if you aim high and fail you will probably have achieved more than if you had aimed low and succeeded. So, on that note I decided that I had done bloody well to have lost what I have and I am more than happy with going away 0.2 away from the goal I set myself. Having said that, when I woke up this morning and jumped on the scales I was 71.4kg sooooooo as long as I continue to do what I have been doing (plus up the water and veggies !!) I am sure that the 0.2 will be off by Saturday. And, if it isn’t, the sun will still come up and we will still be going on holiday !!!
We went to visit some friends of ours last night – it was so good to catch up with them as we haven’t seen them for ages. We tend to get stuck in the “We must get together sometime’ rut and yesterday I just thought – after weigh-in and dinner we will go around – so I phoned to check they were going to be in and that is what we did – it was really good ! Nathan, if you are reading this – thanks in advance for your help – I really appreciate it !!!!
Just had a call from school – Kaitlin is not well again. Luckily Al was able to get the car from the service and go to pick her up. She had some cough mixture this morning and he thinks she is high !!!! He has taken her home to sleep it off – she was fast asleep in the car on the way home from school.Then he has to drive to Burleigh to try to get a part for the pool as that has been leaking for we don’t know how long but because of all the rain we haven’t noticed the level of the pool dropping !!! Hopefully that is the three things – the plumbing problem and the wet carpet, the blocked toilet and now the pool leaking. Roll on Saturday !!!!!
Sorry – no more time for any more waffle – will try to post at least once more before we leave – time is just running away from me at the moment and with something on every night I am not sure when I will get chance to update.

My TFTD is rather long – it was sent to me by a very dear friend living in Oman – and it is so very, very true !!!

Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. Their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it..... The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. The richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes, might be lonely. you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself "I am too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".

Monday, June 13, 2005

Lost my focus

Sorry for the lack of updates lately - I seem to have lost my focus over the past couple of days.
Friday was absolutely hecitc at work - hardly had time to think of my name never mind anything else ! Have been very slack with exercise this week - apart from pilates have done nothing. And, water for Saturday and Sunday was no existent - have had a couple of glasses today but nothing to get excited about.
My food has all been within points although I didn't track yesterday - just couldn't be bothered really. HAve spent about 8 or 9 hours weeding this weekend and my back is absolutely killing me - have been walking around like an old women - just can't strighten up properly. If only I could strengthen the muscles in my back enough to be able to weed without feeling like a cripple.
You would think that with it being a long weekend I would be over the moon but have been feeling quite down this weekend - am not sure why. I have a busy week ahead of me with weigh in tonight (haven't decided if I am going or not yet) - not working due to the public holiday, pilates and work tomorrow night, hairdresser and work Wednesday night, waxing, chiro and work Thursday night and then we are hoping to leave about 1am Saturday morning. BUT, I have to have the May accounts completed and all balance sheet reconciliations done before I go - can't work back any night except Friday so think that is really putting me off starting this week (not that there is much I can do to stop it !!!)
Well, I should probably be going as I don't seem to have anything positive to say which will in any way encourage anyone to accomplish anything this week !!!
Take care everyone and have a fantastic week !

TFTD : (Something which I need to remember more often) - You are only dealt a hand which you can deal with.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Another Thursday down (nearly !)

I am feeling absolutely buggered today – don’t know why as it wasn’t an extremely difficult load last night – really battled to get up when the alarm went off this morning. But I am at work – having a very frustrating day – but, what can you do ???? The campuses are driving me nuts at the moment – you wouldn’t think that things they are supposed to do each and every month could be so difficult !!!!
Anyway, moving on, I didn’t exercise (apart from my 4 hours of packing) last night – was just too tired – it was all I could do to get up and get dressed at 8.30 to go to work !! My folks are coming around for dinner tonight so don’t know that I will get anything in tonight either – think I may give myself a break this week as I am feeling really exhausted.
Onto the food front – as this holiday is instead of a 40th party where we pay for everyone to have a great time and it costs us an arm and a leg, I said to Al I would rather go away somewhere for the 3 of us – hence the holiday to Great Barrier Reef. Now, if I reach my goal of 72kg before next Saturday, I don’t really want to blow that for 2 weeks away BUT, when you are in a hotel with 3 meals a day – WHAT DO YOU DO ???? I thought that maybe I would try some of the foods but make a concerted effort to keep my portions small AND if they bring the meals already dished up – send back what I don’t NEED to eat. The thing is – it is my birthday 3 weeks after we get back and I would have loved to have been at goal for that – now that I realise that it is only 3 weeks, realistically, it isn’t going to happen. And, if I am honest with myself, I suppose that even if we weren’t going away, expecting me to lose 1kg per week when I am 5kgs away from goal is a tad unrealistic as well !!! So, maybe what I will do is the following – try to exercise control over my portion sizes, not eat just for the sake of eating and try to keep up the exercise.
K and I never thought we would get Al to a holiday where there is beach and water (none of us are beach and water people but K and I do like to tan !!!) so when he said “What about the Barrier Reef” we jumped at the chance. When I spoke to him about how worried I was about putting on weight when I am trying so hard to lose it, his reply was “Never mind, we’ll just do more exercise” to which K and I just groaned !!!! BUT, that may be the answer I am looking for – if I can keep the exercise up, and do my best with the eating, maybe this won’t be a complete disaster on the weight loss front !!!! Maybe, maybe, maybe !!!!! If you have any suggestions on what else I can do – please let me know because I don’t want a two week holiday to turn into a 5kg (or worse!!!) nightmare.
Thanks again guys – it is great to know that there is so much support out there ! I am sure I will have to draw on more than a little motivation and inspiration when I get back !!
Take care and have a great day !

TFTD : You don’t get to choose how you are going to die. Or when. But, you can decide how you are going to live now.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

My points

Am feeling lousy today – don’t really know why as last night I could have eaten a packet of biscuits and a slab of chocolate without sharing with anyone and not even blinked an eye but instead of got a can of the faithful DP out the fridge and drank that – the main reason for my restraint was – I didn’t want to not be able to wear my size 12 jeans when we were on holiday !!!!!!
A few people have asked how I can have so many points left at the end of the week so I thought I would give you a typical day for me.
No fat yoghurt – 1
Dried apple and sultanas – 1
Rice crackers or dried apricots – 1 or 2
Sandwich (bread (2), butter (1), oxo (free)) – 3
Nut bar – 3
Chicken – 4 or 5 (I don’t eat meat)
Veggies – free
Total points for the day : 15
My breakfast and lunch rarely change – Al makes both and it is easier to let him make the same each day and, as I enjoy both, I have just stuck with them. I know that you are supposed to have variety but, quite honestly. I don’t have the time to fiddle around and so just stick to what works and what I enjoy. Sometimes I substitute 4 lite biscuits for my morning snack – and if we have sauces etc with dinner I add those on. So, most days I have at least 4-5 points I can save plus my 12 bonus points which I earn either through exercise or from packing at Coles – we normally pack between 12 – 18 hours per week but occasionally will pack 20 – 24 hours per week. I have definitely found that there are days when I eat more – usually another nut bar or some crackers or something like that – I don’t like fruit but LUUUUUVVVV sweet things and really find it VERY difficult to stay within the 14 points – our Saturday morning muffin plus biscuits during the week. I don’t mind not having alcohol and would rather have a chocolate than a drink. I like to drink Amarula and it is just too high in points to even worry about. Quite often it is a case of if I don’t eat it I don’t worry about it i.e. once I start eating sweet things in the week, I find it hard to stop, so I try not to have anything at all – sometimes it works and most times it doesn’t !!!!!!
I went to the doctor this morning and when I was talking to her it came up that I had lost nearly 14kgs and she couldn’t believe it and asked me how I had done it. I told her on WW and she asked what I had done. When I told her she said that it was too difficult and even though she needs to lose weight she doesn’t think she could do it. I was thinking on the way to work – she could do it if she wanted to – it really just boils down to – how badly do you want something ? If you want it badly enough, you do what you have to do to get it.
Right now I want to feel good about how I look and know that if something happens to me – they don’t need three people to try to pick me up or move me if I had a fall, I want to buy clothes off the rack that K thinks are ‘cool’ and, while I am happy to look like her mother and not her older sister, I don’t want to have to wear frumpy clothes again because they are all that fit me !!!!!!
Enough ranting for one day – especially as I don’t have a lunch hour today due to coming in late after the dr’s appointment and I have typed this in between posting journals and doing all the other good month end processes that I need to get completed.
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : If you treat an individual as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Loss this week - 0.6kg

SW : 86.1kg
CW : 72.3kg
Loss this week : 0.6kg
Total loss : 13.8kg
Well I am only 0.3kg away from my mini goal for our holiday - have to try hard to keep it all together this week !!! I have to be happy with that result as it is 0.1 more than the weekly goal I set myself (even though I really want to get these last 5kgs off quickly I need to remember that the closer I get to goal the more difficult it is going to be - hopefully this 0.3 won't be too stubborn as I only have next weigh in to lose it !!) Having said that I am going to be more than happy with what I have managed to lose before we go even if I don't get rid of the last little bit - nice as it would be !!!!!
Kaitlin still isn't well - we had a dreadful night last night. She is at home again today except for one lesson (science experiment) where she is teamed up with another girl and doesn't want to let her down - so my folks will take her to school for that and I am trying to get an appointment for her with the doctor this afternoon, just to make sure that it isn't anything worse than a head cold.

Last night after weigh in we landed up having pizza instead of fish and chips - I really felt like it but wish I had only had 2 pieces instead of 3 - I was so uncomfortable after eating the 3 pieces !!! I had the points available as most weeks I have approx 20 - 25 points left on a Monday night but think that even though the points are there I don't have to try to eat them all in one meal !!!!!!!! It was just soooooooooo lovely !! Oh well, back to our normal meals tonight.
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : People acting together in a group can accomplish things which no individual acting alone could ever hope to bring about.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Quick update

Sorry this is going to be short - food / points wise - doing well today. Water wise - have had just over 1L which isn't that wonderful but definitely better than the alternative of last week, which was nothing !!!!! Kaitlin is sick again so went home at lunch time to see her (hence no update during my lunch hour) - high temps with sore throat, runny nose etc etc. Not a haply little camper at all.
After work will dash home, change, go to weigh (hope the scale gods are smiling on me as I feel quite thin today), back home, change again and then off to my nephew to wish him happy birthday and have some birthday cake. Then think we will stop and get some grilled fish (with a few chips) then home to eat and off to work. We are working 8pm-1am tonight but, as anyone who has ever worked for Coles will know, that can change in the ring of a telephone !!!
Take care everyone - have a great week and be good to yourself.
To all those lovely people who have left comments recently - THANK YOU. I will try to mail you as soon as I can.

TFTD : Happiness is a perfume which you cannot pour on someone without getting some on yourself.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

This one was taken today with me wearing a pair of shorts which used to fit me !!! As you can see, I have changed my hair style a little as well.

How many chins should I have ???

When I can get together with my friend's son, I will load these on the side but thought that I would get them on in the meantime. Will try to get an up to date photo to go on my profile.

Another before photo

A before photo


SIZE 12 JEANS !!!!!! Did you read that – SIZE 12 JEANS – this is the size of the jeans which I just bought this morning !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have had a fantastic weekend – food wise, exercise wise, clothes wise (but not water wise !!!)
Woke up yesterday morning and Al went off to help
his brother sort out the roof on his gate house (which they did a great job on !!) and then Kaitlin and I went off for a lovely morning together. To back track a little – when Al and I were lying in bed he was cuddling me and then said “You have really lost so much weight – around your waist, hips, thighs – everywhere” – I felt so bloody proud. I was so pleased that he had said something about it because up until then I knew that I was losing weight but nobody has said anything. I sort of think that if I can see how much I am losing how come nobody else can ???? Anyway, this morning he said more things along the same lines and then I said to him that I was upset because nobody else had noticed and he pointed out that I don’t normally wear clothes which show off my figure – my tops always hang over my pants so nobody can see how baggy they are (even though I think they should be able to !!). Anyway, I felt better after we had spoken a bit about it.
Anyway, K and I had our muffins and then went jean shopping – after lots of trying on I bought one pair which were really comfortable. Then we popped in to see how the guys were going with the roof and stayed to chat for a while. After that we left to pop in to see my folks for a while.
Al and I decided to out to dinner and asked Danny and Heather if they wanted to join us – we haven’t really been out without Kaitlin since we arrived in Australia 5 ½ years ago. She spent the night with my folks and they all had such an enjoyable time which was great for all of them. When I dropped her off we were sitting there and my Dad got up to get a blankey for her legs, then he got his slippers for her to wear because her feet were getting cold. He sat down with this big smile on his face and said “I have waited over 5 years to be able to do this for my grand-daughter” – it was just lovely !!! After I left them, I got home and Al said that we were leaving at 6.15pm – well, it was 5.15pm AND I HADN’T HAD ANY EXERCISE !!!!! I couldn’t go out to dinner without having any exercise so I had a gym session and did some pilates leg exercises before jumping into the shower. I never thought I would have given up the opportunity to have a soak in the bath so that I could have some exercise and a quick shower !!!!!!
I didn’t get to wear my new pants because when I put them on AL said he thought that they were too big for me. So I wore my old jeans with a newish jumper which I had bought a little while ago. We had a great evening – I had Chicken Florentine with a couple of chips and came home and had a WW chocolate dessert – what a fantastic night !
This morning we went to get K and the back to the clothes shops to try to find a pair of jeans which we all liked !!! And that was when I found them A SIZE 12 PAIR OF JEANS WHICH FITTED ME – and were comfortable !!!! I bought them and tomorrow will take back the ones that I bought yesterday.
I have noticed that lately I seem to be wearing more make-up and wanting to look nice when I go out instead of just wearing my baggy clothes and trying to hide as much of myself as I can – the confidence that I have gained since losing these last couple of kgs is just amazing – I don’t know that I ever realised it when I lost weight before but I have noticed it this time – and it is just great !!!!! I wish I could bottle it up and send it to all of you out there.
We are going to my folks for dinner tonight (wooohooo no cooking this weekend for me !!) and so I will wear my pants then – yipppeeeeee.
So I am off to get all the chores done before sitting down to watch the footy before going off to my folks.
Take care everyone – hope that you had as great a weekend as what I have had – it has been one of the best for ages. I feel so in control of everything.

TFTD : Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living , and your belief will help create the fact.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Yippeee another weekend

Hi there - just a quick update. Kaitlin is now fine - thank goodness. Foodwise things are going well except that I only had 15.5 point yesterday and I should have had 23 !!! Maybe I will need them on the weekend !!!! I got home and went for a quick session on the gym as well as some of the leg exercises from pilates before sitting down to the last of the left overs - bugger, means I am going to have to cook tonight !!!!!
On the water front I am not doing that well today - although it is an improvement on the last couple of days - have had 2 glasses so far (which is better than nothing of the previous two days !) - am off to a meeting shortly so don't know that I will have much more to drink otherwise I will be up and down to the loo in the middle of the meeting.
Not much planned for the weekend - Al is helping his brother with some building and I presume that K and I will be off to the shops. I bought some jeans last week which I want to take back and try to find another pair which are more me and not so much her !!!!!
Am feeling really good about myself today - feel thinner which is great. I am wearing a pair of brown pants and think that this is the last time I will be able to wear them as they are now just too big to keep on wearing so will see if I can find some new ones tomorrow. As usual we will be having our muffins - don't think that K will let us forget those in a hurry (mind you, I am not likely to forget in a hurry either as I really look forward to my weekly muffin fix !)
Take care everyone and have a great weekend - remember to be good to yourself !

TFTD : The greatest discovery of a generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Absolutely buggered ....

Yesterday I dashed home at lunch time to see K who was obviously still not well as she spent the 40 minutes that I was at home with her just curled up firstly on my lap and then just snuggled next to me – boy was it hard to leave her and go back to work. Anyway, she is now feeling much better and went off to school this morning. Will just see how she goes.
Had a rushed night last night – had to go to the shops to get some groceries and more medicine for K straight after work and then went to the hairdresser. Screamed home from there and had dinner – thank goodness there were enough left overs so I didn’t have to cook anything – plus I had veggies – woooohoooooooo (didn’t have much water and am not doing too well on the water front today – will have to try to get back on track with that soon !) We sat and watched NCIS from Sunday and then I remembered that I hadn’t had any exercise so I jumped into the spare room and had a session on the gym – I can definitely feel the difference and some of the exercises that I used to battle with I am doing a lot more easily now (so will have to change the settings on the gym to make it hard again !!) and then when I was finished I did some of the pilates leg exercises. That took me up to the time to leave for work – wasn’t a big load last night and so we all worked 9-12 but then got home, had a shower and got into bed and read until about 1.45 before switching the light off. Looked at the clock – 2.10am, then 2.30am, then 2.55am, then 3.10am, then 3.25am, then the last time I looked it was 3.50am – by then I was getting really anxious (which isn’t conducive to getting ANY sleep) but I must have dozed off because I landed up waking up just before the alarm went off later.
Anyway, have got all my food at work so hopefully if I keep snacking away (within my points) I will be able to stay awake long enough to get home and have a snooze after I have had my work out on the gym !!!Last night was a real battle at work – I normally pack in aisle 5 which is the biscuit / tea / coffee / sugar aisle and, because we always eat before we go, it generally isn’t a problem. Last night I did all the chocolate biscuits and it was just awful – I could just about taste each bloody biscuit as I packed it !!!! I was really glad to get home to my trusty DP and nut bar. I was on 14 points for the day and so my nut bar took me to the required 17 points for the day but when I was in bed I was thinking that I really didn’t need to have eaten the nut bar as I wasn’t all that hungry – think it was more a habit thing (need to try to break that cycle before it leads back to the biscuits when we get home from work !!!)
Haven’t heard from K at school so hopefully she is fine and I will see her at home this afternoon.
Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : The harder you work, the more luck you seem to have.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

An ordinary day

Well there isn’t too much to tell you today – Kaitlin is at home today and I wish that I could be there with her. But, what can you do. Another good day foodwise yesterday although I didn’t have any veggies unless you count the avocado pear which I had as a veg ! Also didn’t get all my water in but that happens some days.
I did get to pilates – there were 4 of us – but she still gave us a harder than normal work out which was great. When I got home I could definitely feel the work that we had done which was great – did a lot of ab work which is what I need to get rid of the tummy that I have.
Thought I could get my work photo but the girl took so long to reply to my mail she has now lost that picture – will have to actually get one taken and put it on my site – it does make a difference if you can put a name to a face and like M, I really have just been putting it off mainly because I just hate having my photo taken. As Al and I always say – the worst thing about getting married was having to have all those photos taken !!!!!
I can’t say that I am feeling any better than I did yesterday – not sick just blaaaah. Maybe I should take a day off to get over this before my month end work starts and I get so busy I can’t take it off. Will see how I feel when I wake up tomorrow.
In the meantime – take care everyone and have a great day. Don’t forget to be good to yourselves – you deserve it !!!

TFTD : It is not necessarily the amount of time you spend at practice that counts, it’s the effort you put into the practice.