Thursday, July 27, 2006

Quick post

Just thought I would post a short entry to let you know that I am doing well this week. I got back on track on Monday and have been under points (on the Wendy plan) every day since. My food groups may not have been the best but I have eaten more veggies and planned my dinners so that I didn’t get home and get caught with the “What are we going to have for dinner tonight ?” dilemma.

I have been for one really good walk on Monday night - Al cycled alongside me for part of the way - then cycled off, came back and cycled all the way home with me. With Al cycling next to me I was able to see that I was walking at approximately 7kph and the sections that I ran, I was running at about 10kph. Tuesday saw me have a great pilates class. Last night it was off to chiro (not happy with my back in it’s current state so have to go back next week) and tonight we had parent / teacher interviews at school. It was good to hear that her teachers are all VERY happy with her and wish they had more kids like her to teach. While we knew that she had done well having achieved academic honours for the first semester, it is always good to hear that the teachers are happy with her performance as well. The teacher who took her on Outward Bound (and teaches her maths as well) couldn’t speak highly enough of her. So we both felt very proud to be her parents and I realise that, while there are times when I question my parenting skills, I have to think that I can’t be doing too bad a job !!!

My new job is going well - a little over whelming - but I think that is to be expected in a new job. I am sure that once I have mastered the financial package and the management account package that they use, it will be great.

We have been out to dinner once this week and are going out to friends on Saturday night - I will do the best that I can while I am there and make the best choices that I can when I have to. The scale is showing me a really nice number and this has been very motivating for me to continue to make good choices - even down to eating some dried dates when we got together for morning tea on Tuesday !!!! My water drinking hasn’t happened yet but I figure that if I work on one thing at a time I am more likely to succeed !!!!

Take care everyone and have a great week. I will try to get around to reading some blogs on the weekend.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Where has the time gone to ?

I can’t believe that it is over two weeks since I posted - where has the time gone to ??????

Get a cup of coffee and sit down if you would like to catch up on what I have been up to.

The last week of work was absolutely hectic - I can’t believe that they waited until my last day before deciding that I should show our business analyst (who has no financial back-ground whatsoever) what I do (like I could teach him much in one day anyway !!!) It was frustrating as he could have sat with me for 4 weeks prior to that and have been a lot more capable than he was when I left him. They had a lovely morning tea to say farewell and gave me a huge bunch of flowers, a photo frame with a comical picture of all the people in my department and a voucher for Anaconda - all in all I was very spoilt but I have to say that I was pleased to finish up there. The ladies in my department were not so happy and have phoned to see how my new job is going and whether I would like to come back !!!!!

Last Saturday we said goodbye to our little baby who was off on an Outward Bound adventure for 9 days. I have wondered so many times during these past 9 days as to how she is going. I am sure that she is having a ball during the days as she really is game for most things that are happening but I think she would battle a little at night when she is cold. They were going out to the Kyogle area (northern NSW) but she is due home tomorrow at lunch time and we are all really looking forward to having her home again. I am sure that she will be a lot more appreciative of what she has after not having running water and electricity and having to carry everything and take turns cooking for the 9 days !!!

Saturday and Sunday saw me vegging out catching up on some TV programmes I had taped and just trying to unwind a little - we were both really exhausted for some unknown reason as we hadn’t really done anything different during the week. Saturday night we went to some friends to watch the rugby game between Australia and South Africa - needless to say I was very happy that we whipped their butts but I was definitely in the minority !!!

Monday was my last day at work and that seemed to rush past in such a blur - I was exhausted when I finally left there at about 5.30. Got home and neither of us felt like cooking so we went to one of the local taverns with my folks and had a great evening - Al and I shared a chicken parmigana and calamari. The calamari was some of the best I have ever had. For dessert I had sticky date pudding which was just delicious !!!

Tuesday saw me have a short lie in before I was off for a massage which was just what I needed. I really should make the effort to go more often because I feel so good afterwards. Then I went and helped my folks fold the local newspaper before they went off to deliver them and I took myself off to the local shopping centre where I was walking past the beauty salon and thought “I’m going to see if they have a free appointment for a deep cleanse - if they have, I’ll take it and if not, I’m not meant to have it.” Well I had to wait about 10 minutes (I could live with that) before she could take me - again, this is something that I should try to have more often. My eating on Tuesday could have been better - stopped off at the bakery around the corner from where I used to work for an apple muffin as I had to go into Southport to buy a part for the washing machine (why is it that Al waited until I wasn’t working near Southport any longer before asking me to get the spare part for the machine ?????) Can’t remember what I had for lunch but got home and watched Grey’s from the night before. Al got home and we didn’t feel like left overs from the weekend so we got some Thai from a local restaurant.

Wednesday saw me start my new job (sans my child who was very upset that she wasn’t going to be able to come to school with me on my first day and wanted to know if I would be alright without her !!) - what a lovely group of people I now work with. I was made to feel so welcome - I was just amazed at how friendly everyone was. I have made the decision not to load bloglines or access any blogs or gmail from work so if you want to contact me, I am happy to give you my work e-mail address - just mail me on g-mail and I will give you my work address. This will obviously mean that I will be blogging less as I don’t have that much time at home to blog plus we are having umpteen problems with our home PC which I would like to replace but until we have the outside renovations completed, that isn’t going to happen. I will still be around - just maybe not as frequently as I used to be. Once we got home from work I did manage to get out for a 45 minute walk but then when I got home, neither of us could be bothered with the leftovers so Wednesday night saw us going out for pizzas. (Do you see a tragic pattern beginning to form ??)

Thursday evening I went and did another 45 minute hill walk - well it was a couple of hills which I went up and down. I want to try to take some photos of the one really big hill but I don’t know if they will come out as you can’t see the top of the hill from the bottom !!!! It took me just over 8 minutes to walk up it - boy was I pleased to see the downhill on the other side. We finally got around to eating the leftovers on Thursday night - plus some chips which we had bought on the way home !!!!!

Friday I woke up and Al had my presents all wrapped and waiting for me to open. My folks were going to pop over but didn’t as it was a little fresh and they were still in bed !!!! I had a lovely day at work with the admin and accounts department throwing a morning tea for me - and they all sang Happy Birthday just for good measure !!!! I had lots of phone calls and e-mails - it was just amazing. Al sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers to work - made all the more lovely because they were totally unexpected. We had made plans to go to dinner with my folks and, when I look back now, I can see a few tell tale signs of what was going on but at the time, I had no idea. We got to this lovely little Malaysian restaurant and as we walked in I saw some friends and then turned and there were another couple of friends and another couple of friends - Al had organised a surprise birthday dinner for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just fantastic and I was so spoilt with another two bouquets of flowers and lots of nice smellies plus a beautiful photo frame which, as soon as I can get some decent photos of K and Al, will be going in my new office. What an amazing day I had - I can’t believe that it was a year ago I was celebrating my 40th - what made it better was I got to share it with Al this year. Unfortunately, K couldn’t share it with me but I have kept her present and will open it tomorrow when she gets home.

This morning we woke up early (why is it that when you have the chance to have a sleep in your body says “No - there is no sleep in this morning. You are wasting precious time - get up and do something !!!!” ???) We went to the Mudgeeraba farmers markets and got some lovely veggies. Unfortunately we also went into the little hall area where all the freshly baked goodies were - breakfast turned out to be a nut danish and a don-nut - they were absolutely delicious !!!!!! Then onto some friends where I had a piece of freshly baked chocolate cake (because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying no thank you - Al was happy to say no though !) We were going to go for a cycle during the day but the weather turned nasty and so we landed up taking the car - maybe tomorrow if the weather holds although it is still raining as I am typing this so who knows. Lunch turned out to be biscuits and the dips we had bought this morning and dinner was soup with the lovely crusty bread we had also bought this morning !!!! Then, to make things worse, I had to pack chocolates and lollies for 2 hours tonight - that was absolute torture !!!!!! I would have given my right arm for some chocolate when we got home only to find that there was none to be found in the house - or the garage - nothing, nada, zilch - absolutely bugger all chocolate in the house !!!!!!!!!! How did that happen - there is ALWAYS chocolate in our house !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway a soak in the bath and a Coke Zero had to satisfy me.

Well, if you have read all this you definitely deserve a medal. This has been very good for me because it has shown me how far out of control I have let things go - how much I have lost the plot and how much I am going to have to do so that my work pants will feel a little more comfortable than what they feel at the moment. The next step is to take the bigger pants I had put in the cupboard out to wear and I REALLY don’t want to have to do that. Why is it that it is so easy to let things get out of control rather than be in control ? Why is it that it is so hard to lose weight but so easy to put it back on again ? Why is it that I can’t seem to get back on track when I was doing so well a few months ago ? I guess if I knew the answers to any of those I would be able to help a lot of people and make myself a lot of money. Sadly, I will have to continue to ask these questions of myself and try to work out some sort of answer - as well as some way to counteract the downward spiral that I feel myself in right now. It is almost as if I don’t care what I put in my mouth and what it is doing to me - I feel like I am in self-destruct mode and I don’t like feeling like this. I like how I felt when I was in control - when I cared about what I ate and what I put into my mouth - when I made the healthy choices because I wanted to. I know that tomorrow is another day and I have to take a long hard look at myself and where I am heading. I have to change that around so that I head in the opposite direction because I am dreadfully unhappy going the way that I am going.

I hope that everyone has a great Sunday and that the week ahead brings you all that you wish for. Take care and be good !!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Thoughts and prayers

My thoughts and prayers go to Emily and Jonny at this difficult time.

We are all here for you when you need us.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

My "C" words - finally !!!

I don’t know how long ago I got my letter from M. I haven’t done anything about them for a few reasons - I forgot, I couldn’t find the time, I couldn’t think of any and then I realised that unless I made the time I was NEVER going to get them done - and here they are !!

Chocolate - I know that this may not be the most appropriate word for a weight-loss / maintenance blog but it is something that I LOVE so much I had to use it first up. I can eat chocolate at any time of the day or night - I know people who say “Oh no, I can’t have any chocolate, it isn’t after lunch time.” I have never been able to understand this - I can eat chocolate at 6am, 10am, 12 noon, 2om, 6pm, 11pm, 3am - I really can eat it 24 hours a day. I have learnt to only eat ‘good’ chocolate - I would rather spend more on a good quality chocolate than buy some cheap chocolate which tastes awful. The more smooth the chocolate is and the longer it takes to dissolve in my mouth - the better it is.

Challenge - this is a word which, when mentioned in the same sentence as “This job is” - is enough to whet my appetite for the position the person is talking about. I love challenges and I love the feeling that comes with meeting those challenges. I love a challenging job and I love the challenge of setting myself goals to achieve - like the C2S - sometimes I don’t give myself a lot of time to achieve them, but I like the fact that I have a goal to work towards and giving it my all.

Casual - this is me - casual as casual can be. My ideal job would be one where I could go to work in jeans !! My home is very casual - we love to entertain casually with BBQ’s and being outside. While I enjoy the formal sit down dinner parties occasionally, I do prefer the outdoor, casual way of life.

Compliments - I love it when people compliment me on what I have achieved. I am getting a lot better at accepting compliments rather than just brushing comments off as nothing. I think too often I forget how far I have come and when someone comments on it, it is good to remember what I have achieved and thank them for acknowledging my accomplishment.

Committed - when I look back to when I started this journey (for the last time), I realised that the difference this time is that I was totally committed to making this the last time I had to lose those kilos. I have been committed to maintaining my weight and, while I have not maintained at my lowest weight, I have maintained at a weight which allows me to still wear my size 10 jeans. Something I would never have thought possible 18 months ago given how many times I have got to goal, only to find that I put on all the weight I lost plus more.

Cookies (biscuits) / cakes - these along with chocolate are my down fall. I would rather eat a packet of biscuits than a good healthy meal. In fact, I have eaten a packet of biscuits as my meal (on more than one occasion) ! I know that this is sad, but then anyone with a weight problem will be able to understand how it can happen and what it feels like.

Chatterbox - I love to talk. Some people may find this a rather strange word to describe me because it is only true with people whom I know and am comfortable with. I am actually quite shy until I get to know someone but once I know you, make sure you can put your hand up to interrupt otherwise you won’t get a word in edgeways !!!!

Courage - I never used to think of myself as courageous but after having walked up mountains even though I am terrified of heights, killed large spiders even though I am terrified of spiders and flown in planes even though I always wonder if the plane will crash - I figure I can consider myself courageous. What I hadn’t thought was courageous was starting a blog until I realised just how much of myself I put into my blog. It takes courage to admit that I am a secret eater, that I keep stuffing up but that I keep on trying, that I never used to like what I looked like but that I now love my new body - while it isn’t perfect, it is right for me. Yes, it could be better but at what cost to some other part of my life and so I have learnt to love what I have.

Curvaceous - I think that would be a good word to describe my body - it is not the sylph like figure which I would like but that is because I am not 100% committed to weight-loss right now - and I can live with that. I would love to have the perky breasts that I used to have but, unless we win the Lotto and I can have a breast reduction, I am stuck with what I have and will have to rely on underwear to minimise them as much as possible.

Create - while I am not very creative in terms of making something out of not much - I do love doing things like calligraphy, cross-stitch, crocheting, making cards (those were the ‘c’ words I could come up with) as well as knitting, embroidery and patch working / quilting. I wish I had more time to do the things which I enjoy.

What a great exercise this has been for me - thanks M ! I was suprised at the number of C words I did come up with and then I had to narrow them down to only 10 !!!!!

Friday, July 07, 2006

65, 67, 64

No – those aren’t my measurements - they are my times for walking home 3 times this week !!!!! The second one was actually less walking time than the first but I managed to get held up by every traffic light that I had to cross to get home. The day before, while I had walked the same way, I managed to scamper across the road (sometimes against the lights if there were no cars around) but I certainly didn’t have to wait the 3-4 minutes all up that I would have waited around on Wednesday. Yesterday I wised up and walked on the other side of the road where there are less cars turning. The only thing to hold me up were the lost (South African) tourists who were wanting directions but I ran the last 600m home to try to make up for the lost time !!

The good thing was I had my ipod, a sports drink and my sports bra on (as well as my normal walking clothes in case you were wondering if that was all I was wearing !!) so all was well in Linda’s walking world. An added bonus was Al took a drive and met me about 2kms away from work and took my bag home so I was free to walk without the 10 ton pack on my back.

My eating has got slightly better – K met me for lunch today as she wasn’t working and I was going to have a toasted sandwich but she wanted sushi so I had that instead – a much better option for me although the apple muffin afterwards wasn’t that good a choice !! Tonight we are going to see friends of ours whom we haven’t seen for ages so it will be good to catch up with them – double bonus because I don’t have to (a) think of what to cook for dinner and (b) don’t have to cook dinner !!!!

Tomorrow I will get more walking done while K is at softball training and then on Sunday it will either be a cycle or another walk during the day in between jack hammering the foundations which we were originally going to leave until Al had a think about it and realised that we would have to get rid of them as they have to core through for the new pipes and the old foundations will be in the way.

What a great game on Wednesday night - I really didn't think we had enough in the tank to come back from 14-4 down with 8 minutes left but they pulled it out from somewhere - GO YOU BEAUTIES !!!! This has meant a really long couple of days for me as we only got to bed at about 2.30am on Thursday (I was still awake at 3.15) and the days have been reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly long since then. I am sure I am going to sleep like a log one night soon - with the extra late night on Wendesday plus the walking which I am not used to - you would think it would catch up with me sometime.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

TFTD : Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but look what they can do when they stick together.

TIAGF : Not having to cook tonight

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Oink, oink

That is how I feel – like little (?) Miss Piggy. Why is it that I am either 100% on track or totally off the rails – there is no in between. Well I guess there is an in between – I just don’t know how to find it. It is either all or nothing, feast or famine – uurrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!! This is so annoying.

I know it shouldn’t be this hard. I know what I need to do. I know where I want to be. But, I can’t seem to get my head into the right space to get there. I wake up every morning saying “Today is the day. I’m going to take my food to work. I’m going to eat the food I have taken in. I am going to be satisfied with that because it is enough food to keep me from being hungry.” But, I don’t. I take my food in and then I look at it and say “I don’t want to eat this – what else can I have ?” It is too easy to go and buy other things to eat – sometimes I eat my lunch and then buy something else anyway. Why ? Just because – no particular reason except that I like the taste of food. Will this be better at my new job ? Will there be less temptation there ? I hope so because this is getting out of hand (once again !! Bloody hell – you wouldn’t think it would always be this hard.)

I got a lift to work this morning again so I will be doing the walk home again tonight – I have my ipod, I have my sports bra and I have a bottle of Gatorade to keep me going until I get home. Unfortunately my legs don’t feel quite as fresh as they did on Monday night but that is not going to stop me from getting home – it may just mean that my time won’t be quite as good as Monday. But, for now, the aim is to get the kms under the belt without my times getting too far off each time.

And, it wouldn’t be origin day if I didn’t finish with
As usual, we will be watching the first half before work and then taping it and watching it when we get home at 1am. Here’s hoping that it is a good game – no matter who wins although obviously it would be better if we won !!!!

TFTD : On the road between the homes of friends, grass does not grow.

TIAGF : The support of my blogging friends

Take care everyone and have a great day !

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I did it !

7.3kms in 65 minutes – now I know that isn’t the best time that anyone has ever had but I am very proud of what I did – not only did I manage to get home, but I got home in what I thought was a reasonable time. What I have to keep telling myself is that my 65mins for 7.3kms really doesn’t count for too much seeing as it was walked along the northern Gold Coast which (apart from Holland and maybe the road between Van Reenen and Villiers) is the flattest you will ever come across BUT there is nothing I can do about that so I will work on improving my time.

Note to self : remember to change into a sports bra when walking home. It wasn’t bad for the first 5kms. Then Al drove past, after having taken K to a work dinner, to see how I was going and by that stage my bag felt like it weighed about 10 tons (which it didn’t). He stopped to ask me how I was going and if I wanted a lift but I was going really well so just asked him to take my bag and checked if he had anything to drink – I was soooooooooooo thirsty and a little hungry. He didn’t have anything to drink but took my bag. The last bit home from there was absolute heaven and hell – heaven because I didn’t have my bag but hell because my normal bra is DEFINITELY not suitable to walk in – especially when I don’t have my bag strapped across the front of my chest acting as a sort of "wear on the outside sports bra" !!!!! A lesson well learned and to be remembered for future walks home from work. My plan is to walk home at least 3 nights a week for the last 2 weeks that I am here.

I won’t be walking tonight as I have pilates at 6pm but will be packing my clothes for tomorrow night. I must remember to pack my ipod as well as it was a little boring just walking home with nothing to do except look at peoples houses and the cars driving past.

My dinner last night probably counter-acted the benefit of the walk – we had to pick up K from her work dinner and were going to go out ourselves – except her work dinner didn’t last as long as we thought so we landed up having burger and chips from Big Chief. While they are a fast food outlet – they don’t taste anything like McDonald’s burger or KFC.

I am starting to second guess my decision to leave here – most of the time I know I have made the right decision but every now and again and play the “I wonder” game with myself. I need to focus on getting all issues resolved in my current job before I leave and look forward to the challenge of my new position. It is going to be great finishing work at 4pm – I have made a pact with myself that at least 3 afternoons a week I will exercise as soon as I get home from work. If I have shopping to do, I will go home, do my exercise and then go and do the shopping and the cooking. Well that is my plan – if it doesn’t happen and someone notices it, please give me the talking to that I need !!!

TFTD : Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.

TIAGF : Sore legs that tell me I have done more than I normally do

Update – just had a phone call from the HR lady at my new job to make sure I had received all their paperwork and to check if I had any questions. She is also South African and sounded like she would be very nice to work with.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Finally I'm getting organised

I can’t believe that it is nearly a week since I posted – where has the time gone to ????? Where has the year gone to – it is July already (and only 18 sleeps to my birthday !) ????????? What a great weekend we had – we walked for 1 ½ hours on Saturday morning while K was at softball training and then yesterday managed a 20km cycle during the day once it had warmed up a little !!!! YAY !

Al also had a great idea – he would drop me off at work in the morning and I could walk home !!!! I had been saying to him while we were walking that most days I have my clothes to go walking at lunch time but there is always a reason (be it valid or not) about why I can’t walk at lunch time – too cold, too hot, can’t be bothered, have errands to run etc. That was when he came up with this idea of dropping me at work and then I would have to walk home as I don’t want to spend the night here !!!! I didn’t think it was a very good idea to start with but the more I mulled it over, the more I thought that it might work. So, packed my bag this morning and here I am – waiting for 5pm to get changed and then get walking. I am not too sure of the distance (we forgot to measure when we came in this morning but probably about 7 - 7.5kms) and I have no idea of how long it will take me (I am hoping to take just over an hour) so will see how I go.

Other than that – things are going along pretty smoothly. I am managing to get lots of things sorted out at work so I won’t be leaving any sort of mess for someone to walk into. While I always see that as a challenge, not everyone has the same take on walking into a mess !!!

TFTD :Friendship isn’t a big thing – it is a million little things.

TIAGF : Walking after work.