Thursday, October 27, 2005

Finally !!!

Well after being tagged last week I have finally got my act together and got around to it !!!

The rules are:
1. Go into your archives
2. Find your 23rd post
3. Find the fifth sentence (or the closest one to it)
4. Post the text of your sentence in your blog along with these rules
5. Tag five other people
This is what I had posted:

"I am sure that everyone reading this feels the same - this is the place where I can whinge away and then get over it !!!! "

I was talking about the fact that I had only lost 0.3 when I was expecting a bigger loss.

I don’t know if there is anyone who hasn’t been tagged – so if you haven’t been tagged before – you have now !!

I have now had two headache free days in a row with no painkillers taken since Tuesday night - YAY !!!!! I am hoping that the thought of Al leaving again isn't going to start it all off again - at least this time it won't be as long as we will be winging our way over to visit him 4 1/2 weeks after he has left.

Have a great day everyone and take care.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Headache free

Today is the first day in over a week that I have been headache free – YAY – long may it last (just hope I haven’t put the black on me by saying that now !!!) I am off to the chiro again tomorrow but the main thing is that it is finally gone !!!
Not much else today – Al is going back to the specialist re his knee this afternoon so hopefully that will be some good news although I am not holding my breath given how he has been walking on occasions lately. Will wait to see what he says.
Had two Lindt balls last night and thoroughly enjoyed them – I also counted them into my points so it really was guilt free eating (and Al was there so I couldn’t really sit and eat all that were in the container without feeling like a real piggy !!!) It definitely helps having some else in the house when you want to eat something that you know you really shouldn’t – actually I shouldn't say that because even when there is someone awake in the house, I have been known to take biscuits / chocolates into the garage to eat whatever I don’t want anyone to see me eating – how sad is that ???? Although, given our situations, I am sure that it is something you can all relate to. The main thing is that I had two and stopped – gone is the old me who would have had 3 or 4 and then snuck back into the kitchen to have a few more once Al was asleep !!!!! Maybe it is the thought of having to buy bigger clothes that is keeping me honest - maybe it is the thought of putting on the weight that I really want to lose before we go to Taiwan so that when we back 2 days before Christmas I can have a little bit of leeway for Christmas lunch - I am not sure which but thank goodness my determination hat has stayed firmly on my head the past two days. My water hat is also planted quite firmly on my head - long may that last !!!!!!
We had a good workout at pilates last night which was great. Depending on how this afternoon goes – I may go to weigh in tonight – otherwise I may just weigh myself at home and take that as my weight for this week.
I know I was tagged last week but haven’t got around to finding my 5th sentence etc etc – will try to get to it later.
Take care and have a great day !

TFTD : A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

TAIGF : Not having a headache

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Quick update

I didn't go to weigh last night - lots of things happening that I can't get into here. But, I have had a really good day today - all the correct food, lots of water and I will be off to pilates when I get home. I even managed to walk past the bakery without stopping for a choc chip pecan nut cookie before going to Coles and buying a DP without a Curly Wurly, Freddo Frog or any other kind of chocolate - YAY for me !!!!!
Have a great evening everyone and take care !

Monday, October 24, 2005

No news is good news

Well that is the stand that I am taking !!! The scan went OK on Thursday – the lady who did it said I was her best patient all morning but considering that I was probably less than half the age of some of the people who I saw coming out of there, I am not surprised I was the best – I was probably the only one who could keep still enough to get the scan done the first time around !!!! I phoned the dr this morning and spoke to the receptionist who said that the results had come back on Friday but that he hadn’t asked for her to contact me for a follow up visit so am presuming that all is OK with them – the problem with that being OK is that we still don’t know the reason for the headaches. Last night was the first time I have been headache free since I woke up last Sunday which was great but unfortunately I woke up with a stiff shoulder and a headache this morning. While it isn’t that bad, it is still there which is rather annoying. Thank you again for your messages and e-mails – it is so good to have that support and it is so appreciated.
I have stayed the same on my scales this week (not that that seems to count for anything see my entry from last week) but I will be going to WW to see what their scales say this week. I have still been averaging between 4-8 Nurofen Plus per day so have no idea what that will do to my weight.
I have decided that I need to stop obsessing about what I weigh. I have never been a competitive person – I think I am too lazy to be competitive. I have never tried to compete with others about who could get to goal first or lose the most each week – I have been quite happy just going along doing my own thing at my own pace (not as quickly as I would have liked but, more often than not, at least moving in the right direction). Since getting to goal, I have seen others get to goal and then continue to lose and I suddenly realised that I wanted to lose more but have, to a certain extent lost the motivation (or is that determination as per
M’s post ?) to be really vigilant about what I am doing.
Last week wasn’t a good week for me i.t.o. exercise or even food to some extent – I wasn’t up to any exercise and really just wanted to eat what I wanted and not what I should have been eating. We did go for 2 cycles yesterday which was good but probably too little too late to have any effect on this weeks weigh in.
Over the past couple of weeks I have had a few people tell me I am too skinny – while I am (according to my scales) 21kgs less than what I was, I am by no means skinny and feel that I could still afford to lose at least another 5kgs without making myself look sick. Al has concerns about this and Kaitlin isn’t too happy either – should I be setting what I want to weigh by how they feel or should I be saying “While I understand this doesn’t make you happy, I am doing it anyway ?” It isn’t in my nature to do something that I know is going to hurt someone else but I don’t know where to draw the line between what they want for me and what I want for me.
We had a great weekend – I went for my birthday massage on Saturday and it was with a little Chinese lady who had the strongest fingers I have ever come across – she couldn’t speak much English apart from saying “Velly tight, velly tight. Ohhhhh velly sore, velly sore” – which had me chuckling to myself at times because she didn’t need to tell me how tight or sore it was, I could feel everything !!!!! While it wasn’t a relaxing massage it certainly was very good and I think I might try to get back to her sometime in the future.
We had friends over for a BBQ on Saturday night and had a great time with them. I did a Fruity Coleslaw out one of the WW cookbooks and it was very nice. I had some for dinner last night – definitely not something you should have as leftovers – it was much nicer on the night. K helped me make it and was turning her nose up at it much better but after everyone had gone and we were tidying up she said “Mom, that coleslaw was really nice and much better than I thought it would be. Can we make it again sometime ?” So that was good !
Take care everyone and have a great week !

TFTD : Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.

TIAGF : A lovely weekend with family and friends

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Lack of updates

Thanks for your messages asking if things are OK – things have just been very busy in the Morris household hence the lack of updates. It is soooooooooo good to have Al home and I am really not looking forward to saying goodbye to him in a couple of weeks time – the good thing is that it will only be for just under 5 weeks and then we will be joining him – YAY !!!
I had quite a few good walks with Al last week – my eating was good with most days being under points and only 18 sugar points for the week so you can imagine how surprised (and totally shocked to say the least !) I was when I went to weigh on Monday and put on 1.4kg !!!!!!!! That took me back to my goal weight of 67kg which Al was happy about but left me shaking my head wondering what was going on – more so because according to my digital scales at home I had stayed the same from the previous week.
But, having spent all of Sunday and most Monday in bed with the most awful headache – chiro did an adjustment on Monday but that didn’t help and taking between 6-8 Nurofen Plus each day which didn't really help either. Maybe those, together with all the Nurofen Plus I took last week for my back, were the cause of the gain ??? (I don't know if anti-inflammatories can result in weight gain ? Doesn't really matter as that is what the WW scales said anyway. Back on my hobby horse - I just don't understand how their scales can change so much from one week to the next when I compare them to mine !!!!!) Took myself off to the dr on Tuesday to satisfy my family and he has sent me for a CT scan which I am going to today. I told Al that he could give me the $450.00 for the scan and I would tell him there is nothing to worry about but he wasn’t interested in doing that – said he would rather be safe than sorry !!!!!
The good thing is that foodwise I have been good and according to my scales I am down 1.1kg from my Monday weight. Waterwise I have been shocking this week but that is all I can have this morning as I had to eat before 7am and can’t have anything except water (or tea or coffee which I don’t drink). I have had no exercise this week – couldn’t even bring myself to go to pilates on Tuesday, my head was worrying me so much.
Had better get going as I don’t know how long I am going to be out today getting the scan and then back to the dr for the results.
Take care everyone and have a great week !

TFTD : A good way to repay a kindness shown is to pass it on.

TIAGF : Friends who care

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

LG - Life's Good

This is going to be a very quick post as I am super busy at work today. Al arrived safely on Sunday – although they landed 10 minutes earlier than scheduled it took him over an hour to actually get through immigration and customs – but he did eventually and there was a very happy reunion !!!
Had a great day together and talked until the early hours of this morning. It is soooooooo good to have him home again. What is even better is he told me that he is home for 4 weeks – YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought it was only 3 weeks so I get to spend an extra week with him before he goes back again – hip hip hooray !!!!!
I was talking to a friend of mine who asked me what I new about a the George Foreman grill – I told her I didn’t know anything but I did know that there were of few of you who used George all the time and so I said I would ask some of you to let me know if you use George – are there any drawbacks to using George in terms of cleaning / storing, do you think he was worth the money and is there anything else you would recommend instead or anything else you can tell me ?
Am not sure what was going on with the scales yesterday morning – I jumped on and was down 2.4kg from last Monday’s weight – really rather strange so I got off and back on another twice but it didn’t move. When I went to weigh last night I was down 0.6 (total now lost 20.5kg !!!) and I went “Phew” because I would have hated to try to explain a big loss to Al – he has enough on his plate without having to worry about me and my weight. Al liked the clothes that I bought although did say yesterday that he thought my pants were too big. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have really been making an effort to get some exercise in the past couple of weekends and during the past week – I don’t know but I am feeling good and that is the main thing.
Have a great week everyone, take care and be good !

TFTD : The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.

TIAGF : My best friend being home again with me

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Another great day !

I had a great day today - woke up this morning and striped the beds and doona covers and put them in the washing machine. Then got on my bike and went for an 11km cycle in 34 mins averaging 19kph - have to be happy with that because when Al and I were averaging about 150kms per week on the bikes we used to cycle about 20-22kph. Got home and hung the washing out before showering and going for our muffins. Unfortunately, the savoury ones were still being cooked so I landed up having a sweet one (my usual 97% fat free) for 3 sugar points. Then we went to Coles to do some shopping for dinner tonight as we had friends coming over and then came home.
I had a strange conversation with K this morning when we were at Muffin Break - I asked her how she would feel if I lost another 10kgs - she was horrified and said that would mean that I would be only a few kilos heavier than her. I asked her why that would be a problem and she didn’t really know but she was quite adamant that I had lost enough weight and that I would be too thin if I lost another 10kgs. I have always thought that she must have been embarrassed to have me at school when I was 20kgs over weight and that she would be happier if I was thinner - obviously I was really wrong on that point. I was chatting to my Mom earlier today and telling her about what K had said and she said that I must be close to what I weighed when I got married. I had to laugh at that and put her right on that point - I weighed 20kilos less than I weigh now when I got married !!!!!!!! Which really means that, at my heaviest (apart from when I was pregnant) - I was weighing 40kilos more than I did when I got married - what a frightening thought !!!!!!! On Thursday night at work, I picked up a carton weighing 15kgs - put another 5kg carton on top of that and battled to pick it up - then I could understand why I never felt like I had the energy to do anything - just having to move myself around was hard enough. It was certainly a good exercise for me and one that I should probably do every so often just to remind myself of how much extra I was having to carry around - 24/7 !!!!!
I was talking to Al earlier this evening before he left the hotel to catch his plane and I said that we hadn’t been into Target today which was good because it meant that we hadn’t bought any more clothes !!! He just laughed and said that he wouldn’t have minded if we had bought clothes if we needed them - I think that I probably have all the clothes that I need right now but it is so lovely being things off the rack I think I have turned into a woman who likes shopping now !!!! Life in the Morris family will never be the same !!!!
We came home, did some more washing, went into the lounge room, put the radio on and did some exercises on the fit ball and the ab exercises from M. We then spent a relaxing afternoon doing not much apart from some chores around the house before getting dinner started. While I was preparing dinner I realised that we hadn’t eaten lunch - which, while not good, meant that I had more points to spend on dinner tonight !!! Not that I needed them because it was a point friendly chicken dish with rice and I didn’t have any dessert. I deliberately didn’t have any nibbles as I knew that there would be some left over and I knew that I still had to get through the rest of the night by myself.
BUT, I have since had 4 Mars Lite Bars and stuck the wrappers in my Diet Pepsi can so that nobody could find the wrappers in the bin !!!! Thank goodness Al is only an hour away from boarding his flight - I don’t know how much more secret eating I can get away with before it starts to show in my clothes and on the scales.
I know that tomorrow is going to be an exciting day for us - up early and drive to the airport - then home and off to some friends in the afternoon for a late lunch early dinner. It is going to be so cool to see him again - I can’t wait. I know I am going to cry because I always do - it doesn’t matter if I am saying hullo or goodbye !!!! There were times during this 6 weeks that I wondered if it would ever end - there were times when I wondered if I would be able to get through it without him - there were times when I wondered why on earth we were doing this and then I remembered - for the opportunities it will give him in the future and the fact that he is doing what he is qualified to do and for the money !!! While I can’t say that I have enjoyed him not being here - it has shown me that I am stronger than I thought I was and that, while it has been difficult, some times more so than others, I have got through. There is that saying “A woman is like a tea bag - you never know her strength until you drop her in hot water” - while we haven’t really had any major crises to deal with since Al has been away - sometimes it has felt like just getting through each day was a major achievement for me. Not only have I survived the 6 weeks without him but I managed to get to goal as well - I was sorry that he wasn’t here to share the night with me when it happened because he has been such a big part of the journey and he has been so supportive of me the whole way, but I could tell that he was just as excited about it in Taiwan as Kaitlin and I were about it on the Gold Coast.
This has turned into a rather long winded post - but at least it has kept me out of the kitchen - right now, a very good thing !!!!
Take care everyone, be good and keep focussed on your goals. You are all such special people and I can only say how much you have, each in your own way, inspired me to continue on this journey and achieve the goals I set for myself.

TFTD : You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

TIAGF : The laughter shared with friends tonight

Friday, October 07, 2005

I feel so good !!!!

Just a quick update today to say thank you again for all your support – I am (and I know I shouldn’t be because this is what we do for each other !!!) blown away by your support and I can only say a huge big THANK YOU !!!
I woke up this morning with a dreadful headache (oh no – hope it is gone by Sunday !!) but felt really good about myself and maybe the fact that Al is nearly home has something to do with it as well !!!!! During the past week I have received quite a few compliments (some from unexpected sources) and I am learning to accept them and say thank you instead of cringing and trying to hide away.
I am feeling good in the clothes I am wearing – some of my new clothes are getting a little baggy so I am going to have to keep an eye on that as I don’t want to get too thin and look like I am sick. While I would love to get down to about 58kgs, I don’t think that is a realistic weight for me to be and so I have accepted that I am at the best weight that I can be. The other weekend when I cleared out all my 'fat' clothes, I came across some sleeveless tops - two of which were brand new and had never been worn (I bought them in the winter of 2000 and when summer came around I had put on too much weight and they didn't fit !!) and the other 3 are from South Africa - never been worn in Australia !!!! The two new ones are fine (I just need to get over wearing sleeveless tops as I am still not 100% comfortable with wearing no sleeves) but the 3 from South Africa are now too big !!!!! Will have to see if my Mom can take them in a little for me.
Yesterday I had a great day – food wise, water wise and exercise wise – YAY for me !!!!!!! I managed to get a good work out on the fit ball in front of the TV and will do the same tonight while the cricket is on. We have a couple of things planned for the weekend – of course the most exciting thing will be the end result of the trip to the airport on Sunday morning !!!!!
I am sorry that I haven’t managed to catch up on much blog reading this week but last night I had the option of jumping on the computer or doing some exercise and, dare I say it, the exercise won !!!! Al may start to wonder where his wife went and who has been left in her place !!!!!! I think I have finally realised that if I want to feel and look good I need to make sure that I keep the exercise happening and if it means that I don’t get to read blogs or my book or something else that I want to do – so be it, because, in the long run, I feel so much better once I have had the exercise that it has a positive snowball effect on everything else in my life.
Take care everyone, have a great weekend and be good !!! I will catch up with everyone as I get the chance.

TFTD : Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

TIAGF : 2 sleeps to go

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Take a chill pill Mom !

Firstly – thank you so much to everyone for your supportive comments and e-mails. I know that this is one of the reasons why blogging is such a great idea !!!
Last night I went to work after having had a really good day (food and water wise) – didn’t get to do the exercise I wanted as I was late getting back from the hairdresser and after getting dinner organised, eating, speaking to Al and then getting some washing done, I didn’t have a chance to do any but that is okay – today is another day !
Then I got to work and for some reason even though we were only working a 4 hour shift we had a break – with donuts – lots of them – cinnamon, iced, chocolate – lots of them !!! I had one because I ‘thought I deserved it’ but then had another one – not sure why because they weren’t even that nice !!!! Then the self beating up started – boy did I get myself worked up over these 2 bloody donuts. When I think about it now I realise how silly it was but at the time I thought that I had really blown the whole thing.
This morning I got up and thought about what K would say to me if she knew the conversations I had going through my head – “Take a chill pill, Mom” – and she would have been right. It was only 2 donuts. I checked the points – 2 ½ and 4 ½ - total of 7 sugar points – is that really something that I need to beat myself up over – NO !!!!!!!!! So I stopped beating myself up, counted the points in my points for the day, added them to my sugar points for the week and I am back on track.
WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO for the accountability that there is in this forum !!!
And an even bigger WOOOOOHOOOOOOO for only 3 sleeps to go. I am sure that you will all be as pleased as anything when Al gets home and you don’t have to have the daily count down. It is just something that I have to put in because it is such a big part of my day and my eating – I am not saying that when he is here I am an angel but it is a lot more difficult to sit watching TV eating a packet of biscuits when someone is looking at you than when you are by yourself and nobody can see you !!!! Not that he wouldn’t let me if I wanted to but I think that most of us are having to deal with the weight problems we have not because of the food which we ate when people could see us but more for the food that we ate secretly and then hid the evidence so nobody would know.
Take care everyone, thanks again for your support, be good and treat your body with the respect it deserves !

TFTD : The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.

TAIGF : Being accountable for my actions

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Oh dear !!

Hurry up Sunday – then I am sure I will be able to stop all this eating !!!!! I have realised that Tuesday and Sunday nights without Al around, are fatal for me. Last night after pilates I got home and had a WW meal for dinner after a nice soak in the bath and then sat down to flick between CSI and Dancing with the Stars.
I could have done the washing that is waiting to be washed, I could have folded the washing that has already been washed, I could have finished off our tax returns as I received the Medicare statements in the mail yesterday, I could have worked out on my fit ball – but I did none of those things. I sat in front of the TV and ate – I had biscuits, I had the new WW salsa nibbles and then, to make myself feel better about it all, I had some dates because I hadn’t had any fruit yesterday !!!! These were on top of the two choc chip and pecan biscuits that I had eaten from the bakery around the corner from work.
Come home Al – all is forgiven !!!! I know that if he was there I wouldn’t be eating like this - I really hope it doesn’t spiral totally out of control before he gets home. It is only 4 sleeps and I will be working for 2 of those nights and K will be awake the other two (for part of the night) so hopefully I will be okay – I can’t afford to carry on like this because I know it is going to get out of control and that is when I land up just tossing the whole thing in because it gets too hard.
Part of me feels like I am getting totally paranoid about what is going into my mouth but I think that I am really scared of losing control and putting on those 20kgs that are gone – having said that, none of that stopped me from stuffing my face last night !!!! So maybe I am not as paranoid as I thought I was !!!
I have a couple of things that I am busy with tonight but I am hoping to get a work out on the fit ball before going to work tonight so that should be good.
Until next time, take care, be good and look after yourselves !

TFTD : Life is a blend of laugh and tears, a combination of rain and sunshine.

TIAGF : My parents

Monday, October 03, 2005

6 sleeps to go !!

I went to weigh tonight and lost 0.2kg - am still not sure that I have got this maintenance thing happening properly but as long as I am maintaining - I will go with it. I know that I am supposed to only have 14 sugar points a week but that isn’t happening - looking back over the past few weekends, Sunday night seems to be the night that I really battle. I am sure that I will be more on top of this when Al is at home. I generally sit in front of the TV and think about what I can have to eat - not because I am hungry but because I am bored and lonely. During the week there are too many other things that need to be done so I don’t tend to sit around watching TV but Sunday night is the one night that I do watch. I did have some biscuits last night - 6 caramel digestives (oh no, why did I try those ones ??????) and 4 of some other low fat biscuits. So, at the end of the night I was relatively happy with that because I could quite easily have eaten both packets without blinking but I managed to ration myself to 10 all up - not the best on top of my 18-20 sugar points already consumed BUT better than eating both packets on top of my 18 - 20 sugar points !!!!
I had to go to Brisbane for a meeting this morning that should have been finished by about 11am - we eventually left at 2.45 - then I still had to go home to get my car and go into work - got there at 4pm and left at 5pm - a real waste of a day. Had a chicken salad for lunch and some pizza for dinner.
Am off to work shortly - have a great week everyone and take care !

TFTD : Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

TIAGF : Losing 0.2 this week

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Sunday - over already

Another weekend down and only 7 sleeps to go !!!! A pretty uneventful weekend as weekends go - went for an hours walk before going to the mall for muffins yesterday (had spinach and feta) and then on to the dr for the results of the blood tests earlier this week. All good except my iron level is very low (contributing to me being so tired lately) and my cholesterol is too low - have you ever heard of that, because I haven’t !!!!
Then we did some more shopping - size 12’s - off the rack - that fit very nicely, thank you very much !!! Before going to the library and then onto a display home which I could quite easily move into tomorrow !!! At least we have 2 x $5 tickets in it so we have as a good a chance as anyone else with 2 x $5 tickets !!!
We bought some foot long subways for lunch and dinner yesterday (had some buy 1 get 1 free vouchers). Plus I bought some sweet and savoury biscuits - had some of the savoury biscuits after work last night while I was watching a movie but only had 4 so felt good about that.
This morning I got up and had breakfast (muesli and yoghurt) and then went for a 20km cycle - when I started out I was going to cycle from where we live to Broadbeach as my folks were at the market there - got as far as the Sundale Bridge and turned to go towards Main Beach when I realised that there had been a bit of a tail wind with me and there was no ways I would be able to cycle back from Broadbeach into that wind so went and sat at the beach for a while and Al and I sent some sms’s back and forth before I headed for home. Boy am I glad I didn’t go any further - about 3kms from home I wondered if I would have to get off and push my bike the rest of the way (if Al had been with me he could have cycled home and got the car with the bike rack and come back to pick me up !!!) - I remembered something that I had read in Hillary Clinton's book about when things get tough you have to just keep on going and I held onto that thought the rest of the way home. I did stop to look at the Broadwater on the way home and had a Diet Coke and an Aero but I didn’t feel the least bit guilty after the hard cycle that I was having !!!! Probably not the right attitude to have to eating sweet things but it isn’t as though I eat a chocolate every time I exercise. My legs could really feel it when I got home.
Then popped out this evening to see my folks and some friends and came home and spoke to Al before they were going out to dinner - he is pleased to be on his last Sunday in Taipei for a while.
Am half watching the Cowboys - Tigers game and am very disappointed that Tigers are leading - maybe the Cowboys can pull something out the hat in the last 12 minutes !
Have just remembered that I have a load of washing to do so will be off to do that then all the washing is done and I can start the week with an empty wash basked !!!
Have a great week everyone, take care and be good !

TFTD : Opportunities are usually disguised by hard work, so many people don’t recognise them.

TIAGF : The enjoyment of cycling