Friday, July 08, 2005

I feel like cr*p

Woke up this morning feeling really crappy and then realised that Andrea will be feeling worse. This led me back to what I had been thinking when I was packing last night – we had been to have dinner with my folks as their video wasn’t working and Al had said that he would have a look to see if he could find out what the problem was (he is very good with things like that) and we had the TV on and heard the news re the bomb blasts in London. My heart just went out to all those people – not only the ones who have been injured but to the families all over the world who now sit and wait to hear from their loved ones. I had been thinking about Kim and feeling really guilty because we didn’t visit as much as we could have – he was in hospital in Brisbane – a round trip of about 2 ¼ hours. I started mailing them about every second day and then it was twice a week and then once every two weeks and, apart from the e-mail I sent out to everyone re our holiday I can’t remember when last I mailed them – when this was happening I kept on saying “Tomorrow I’ll do it” but tomorrow just never came, and now for Kim, there are no more tomorrows. There was always something happening or we were busy with something else or just rushing around like chooks with our heads chopped off. Now when I think back – there really was no excuse – I COULD have made the time if I had just made a little more effort and because I didn’t, I now have this heavy heart because I could have brightened someone’s day and I didn’t. I have been a coward as well as I haven’t phoned Andrea to talk to her – I have sent SMS and I have mailed her but I just can’t bring myself to pick up the phone, knowing that I am going to be the one to make her cry again. There is a possibility that she will be coming over tomorrow with some other friends to say goodbye to Al but if she doesn’t, I will try to catch up with her on Sunday after we have taken Al to the airport.
Take care everyone – give those close to you an extra special hug and kiss next time you see them – I know that is what I am going to be doing.
I am sorry that this isn’t very motivating or inspirational but it is just something that I needed to get down on paper and remind myself of in the future – there is NOTHING more important than those we love - NOTHING

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains
As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits
As long as we have friendship, today is beautiful


Blogger M said...

Thank you. Can't type more. Using one hand to wipe away tears. I did give everyone extra cuddles and kisses this morning and we all parted happy and at peace.

Don't beat yourself up too much as you cannot change the past. All you can do is make the future a better place. Pick up the phone and call. You may make her cry but that is what she may need. You need to lighten your heart too.
You are very caring and lovely.

I hope something nice happens to make you smile today **HUG**

9:10 AM  
Blogger Slim Suzy said...

We always have regrets but you know you cared and I am sure they do too. Hope you soon feel better.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anne said...

So sorry to hear about your friend, ditto with what Suzy said!
And you are so right - there is nothing at all more important than those we love!

3:07 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

My heart and thoughts go to your friend, and I agree with what the other ladies have said. There is nothing more important than those we love.

Beautiful TFTD.

3:50 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

Sniff sniff. Call her! She will appreciate it.

Enjoy your last couple of days with Al.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Beautiful Linda, try not to beat yourself up about what you should have done. It takes two to have a relationship as well. Times like this always make us realise what we have and what we should be doing. All we can do is learn from tragedies that befall and try to make the world a better place. In that I mean our own backyards to start with. Take care hon and please feel comfortable enough to write what is going on in your blog. This is part of your journey and know that we are your friends {{{HUGS}}}.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Mello4me said...

*Hugs Hugs*
I agree with Emily, call her. I am sure she will really just love some friendly love and support.
Another *hug*

When you have a minute - you've been tagged!

10:55 PM  
Blogger Kt said...

As Mary said it takes two so don't beat yourself up. What you can do now is be as supportive as possible for your friend, hope u have a nice wknd.

8:56 AM  
Blogger another sarah ... said...

Thank you for posting this. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Here's a big hug for you **hug**.
Your blog has inspired me to get off my bum and get in contact with people. I've been a bit of a useless friend as of late, just not returning e-mails or letters when I have every intention of replying.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

So so true. There is nothing more important than people who are close to you is there? It's really sad that these awful things happen in the world - not fair.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Paulene said...

Call her....I bet she'll be pleased you did


3:25 PM  

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