Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Oh cr*p - confession time again !

This was the night I was going to be in bed early - ha ha ha !!! If you are looking for inspiration or motivation, you are probably better off going somewhere else because this is a rant entry.

The past two days I have managed to stuff the following down my throat :
muesli and youghurt
orange juice
oxo (veggiemite sandwich)
dried apricots
2 nut bars
pasta and sauce (enough for one person) + a piece of the yummy chicken left over from the night before
diet Pepsi’s
coke Zero’s
2 slices of toast
2 choc chip pecan nut biscuits
toasted cheese and ham sandwich
1 container sweet chilly philly
½ container extra light sour cream (lucky I never had the heavy stuff in the house !)
1 box cracked pepper water biscuits
1 regular twix (both pieces - well at least it wasn’t the king size !!!)
1 regular twirl (again both pieces and again at least it wasn’t the king size !!)
cheese and cracker snack pack

I think there may have been something else as well but I can’t remember. Strangely enough - I feel big and fat and awful - who would have thought ???? The reason for eating the above ? Stressful situations - at home and at work and guess what - stuffing my face is really going to help work the problems out !!!!

Jeez - when will I learn that eating does not make the problems go away - it just makes me feel like cr*p when having to deal with the problems.

A call from M today helped return some sort of sanity to my brain (thank you M - you don’t know how good your timing was with the call) - and, while we didn’t actually resolve any problems, I got to look at them from a different perspective. Al also called (hate to think of the cost of that call - mobile in Taiwan to mobile in Australia) and it was great to be able to talk to him during the day plus some e-mails back and forth made me feel better.

My plans for tonight all came to naught when I got home and landed up watching the cricket !! It was good to see SA in such a strong position for most of the game. I did nothing except sit on the couch, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, oh yes - and eating. But now, I have put it all down on paper and I am feeling a bit more positive about getting back on track tomorrow - I know that the reality of the situation may not be that easy, but at least the intention is there.

I hope that you are all having a much better week than me - I keep thinking that it really can’t get much worse, but you know what, it can and it has seemed to be getting worse over the past couple of weeks. The good thing is that it has to turn around sometime - just hope that happens sooner rather than later. Having said that - I am really looking forward to my weekend in Sydney - I think it is going to be just the thing that I need. While I wanted to go down there having lost a couple more kilos - given my situation at the moment, it is probably an unrealistic expectation, so for now I will be happy if I can just maintain at where I am.

Take care everyone and look after yourselves !


Blogger Briony said...

I wish I had only eaten what you've eaten. I've been really bad, so much for starting again on Monday. I have increased my exercise though so hopefully that will counteract my emotional eating.
I hope things get better for you soon honey. Life sucks sometimes doesn't it?

7:42 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

You know, all you can do is move on past that day :-) Look forward to hearing all about your trip to Sydney - have a great time!

7:59 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

Oh gosh, not good but one thing I do know, bad days don't last. It sucks when they last for more than a week though so hang in there babe and we'll certainly try our darndest to cheer you up when you visit :-)

1:14 PM  
Blogger M said...

Writing that down must have been very difficult but know that you have I hope you see that it is not as bad as it could have been and other than feeling like crap you probably did not do too much damage on the scales. The strength you have not to pick up the phone and dial a take away is just amazing.

Don't put too much stress on yourself to lose those couple of kilos before you come - I am going to walk them off you when we hit the city, the rocks, darling harbour, balmoral, shall I go on????

I enjoyed the call too, it was great to catch up and just a way for me to get used to that really weird accent of yours. Gosh Queenslanders speak funny LOL.

Talk to you soon xx

7:55 PM  
Blogger M said...

Oh and you really don't speak funny. I just hear funny :D

7:55 PM  
Blogger CaramelKitKat said...

Luckily we Sydneysiders are an accepting bunch and will take you at whatever weight you come.

Hey, you wrote it down, not your problem anymore, move on. Yes, it's boring, but take it back to basics for a few days, be glad that your fridge and pantry have had a little clean out and concentrate on the positives: it's nearly footy season!!!!

Thanks for wishing my nanna a happy birthday - she would think I was silly for putting photos of her online, especially after I explained to her what a 'blog' is!

8:03 PM  

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