Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I'm totally useless

I have come to the conclusion that I am just totally useless and a total failure right now. Harsh words you may think, but I am on the road to self destruction with no inclination to pull the plug to stop.
I knew this week was going to be hectic with meetings 3 nights out of 5 - a 15 year old sleep over on Saturday night and a seemingly never ending list of things that HAVE to be done due to professional people waiting on things from us. But, knowing that a week is going to be hectic and actually getting through said week is proving to be a little outside my scope of capabilities right now. Needless to say my eating has been worse than bad (if there is such a thing) - take-aways are common practice and snacking on unsuitable food is the norm - not that there is junk food in the house but Coles is just across the road and the canteen has a range of biscuits / do-nuts / chips / chocolates to keep a small army going (well a 1200 student college at least !!!). As for exercise - apart from yoga and pilates - that has been non-existent as well despite my good intentions of doing something every day !!!!!
Work is a challenge I am having difficulty dealing with - having got the government financial return done and submitted prior to the deadline, I managed to get the April accounts done in record time (all correct except for one change which had to made due to the budget showing 1 day less of teaching days compared to my calculation of actual teaching days) before starting on the FBT return. This is something I have never done and was told - no problem - it isn't difficult at all. Well it may not be difficult if you know what you are doing but if you don't it is bloody stressful !!!!! It has to be submitted on Monday 21st May (I originally thought it was only 31st May) which means I really only have tomorrow and Friday to complete it all. I have made an appointment with the Commercial Manager to speak to her about it tomorrow morning as I just can't handle anything more with it today.
The other news making me feel really crap is that I heard this morning a close friend of ours has pancreatic cancer (inoperable) and has been given 12 months. Shit - that isn't what I expected to hear. There were a group of three of us who used to work together - one lady's husband died nearly 2 years ago from luekeamia and now this has happened to the other lady - it is just dreadful. Now I know that the drs don't know time lines and shouldn't tell people you have so long to live BECAUSE THEY REALLY DON'T KNOW but it is still a shock to know that it is probably going to be sooner rather than later. Why do crappy things happen to good people - there are enough bad people out there who can have this sort of stuff happen to them.
This isn't getting the payments for this week signed - so had better get going - just felt I needed to get on here and get this off my chest.


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