Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I'm proud and I'm ranting !

What is it with family sometimes ? They can make you feel 10 feet tall or they can drive you to drink !!!!!
Last night I had both ends of the spectrum. K made me feel like I was 10 feet tall and A made me want to rush off to the bottle shop and buy the biggest bottle of Amarula I could find !!!! Not that I have forgotten about how I was ready to give her away a couple of weeks ago but, like with little ones, they can be absolute sods and then they come up to you and put their arms around you and tell you that they love you lots and lots and you just melt.
On the weight front there is nothing, zip, zilch, nada happening. I have maintained for most of this week which in itself isn't an achievement but I am happy about it anyway as it could have been a lot worse.
This stupid government return is not going the way it should - in fact it is barely moving at all but right now I am just over the whole thing. (This is said tongue in cheek for anyone who may be offended by my comment !) Why can't the government just give us the money and let us spend it how we like - why do we have to account for all of it to them ?????? (Yes, I know the reason but it is driving me nuts and giving me gray hairs)
Last night at work I was thinking about all the things that I have to be grateful for - there are many things and I certainly am grateful for them. Some of them are as a result of lots of hard work, some as result of being in the right place at the right time and some, I believe, are because what goes around comes around and it is some good karma coming back to me /us. While A is still getting over his leg, the three of us are all healthy and capable of achieving whatever we set out to achieve - the only person keeping me from losing weight is myself. There is nobody holding a gun to my head and force feeding me. There is nobody going out of their way to make it difficult for me to get my act together - it is all up to me. I remember a saying (from I don't know where) - if it is meant to be, it is up to me - and that is so true. I need to settle down and decide exactly what it is that I want - do I want the instant gratification of eating that biscuit/chocolate/extra couple of slices of cheese for the hit I get now or do I want the delayed gratification of losing the weight and all the benefits that are associated with that weight loss. Do I want to be travelling around Spain, fat, over weight and battling to walk anywhere or do I want to be there with a spring in my step encouraging A & K to keep up with me ? It is all up to me and what I need to do is spend some time this weekend making a list of what my priorities are - what I want to accomplish - and how I am going to make it happen. First I have to get rid of (or do I mean finish eating ???) the ANZAC biscuits we bought to celebrate ANZAC day next week and the packet of liquorice allsorts I bought from Coles yesterday. My house is junk food free now (apart from some Easter eggs which K still has but as they are hers there is no chance that I would eat them anyway as I go totally off the deepend if she eats something that is mine without first asking) so that is a good start. I will take it one step at a time - take back the power for myself instead of letting everyone and everything around me have the power over what I do and how I feel and more importantly, what I eat.
This is going to be a good weekend - I am going to work on what I have to do to get myself into the best space I can be in - I am now at the point where I realise that this isn't something that I WANT to do - it is something I HAVE to do.
Have a great weekend everyone and take care !


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