Thursday, February 02, 2006

Fat and horrible

Today I woke up feeling yucky – fat and horrible. But, that is to be expected when you eat cr*p. Yesterday apart from my muesli and yoghurt for breakfast and some chicken lasagna for dinner, I ate biscuits and cake – all day !!! I was in a meeting most of the morning and every time the plate came past, I had one. As I said to Mary, previously I would have had one in each hand so there was a small (very small) win there for me !!!!

Today wasn’t one of the days when I woke up feeling good about myself. I do know that I am the only one who can change that and I have chosen to make that change today – I need to make the change to keep myself loving who I am and how I look. While this isn’t always the case, there is nobody who can change that but me. It is a little difficult given that I feel really fat and horrible today but I guess I really just need to accept that is how I am today but if I make the right choices today, I don’t have to feel like this tomorrow – I can wake up feeling thin and looking good. I did wear my black longs to work today and they are still comfortable (and not the slightly too tight fit that they were after Christmas) so am really not sure about why I feel so awful. Guess this just goes to prove that so much of how we perceive ourselves, is really just in our heads.

But, I am back on track today with my breakfast and lunch and I have left over chicken and veggies I cooked last night for dinner tonight. I am going to the advanced pilates class so will have to see how I can fit in getting home, showered and eating dinner between 8pm and 8.45pm when I have to leave for work. If I plan my meals during the week properly, there is no reason why it shouldn’t work although it will be a lot easier when Al is back.

I went to the podiatrist today so my feet are all nice and smooth again – it has been a long time between visits and I really need to make more of an effort to go more regularly – my feet feel so much better when I have made the effort.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date and a dinner date – quite the social butterfly this week – and next week as well if I am allowed to count that far in advance because, in case anyone doesn’t know – I’M GOING TO SYDNEY. I just know that I am going to have such a great time there !!!! Due to time constraints next week, I want to start packing this weekend because it is going to be a case of decisions, decisions – what clothes to take with me. Normally I don’t’ have a choice – I take what fits me. Now I have a much wider range to choose from – how am I going to do it ? And, how many times am I going to put things in and take them out before I finally close the lid – I don’t’ know but I am sure it will be quite a few.

My lunch hour is over and I had better get back to work – take care everyone and look after yourselves !

TFTD : Once you make a decision – the universe conspires to make it happen.

TIAGF : Being able to make choices


Blogger Mary said...

We all have these days and we can't be perfect all the time or that'd be so god damn boring. I'd have to put you in a convent! Just try get through today the best you can and treat yourself well. I hope tomorrow is a better day! *hugs*

2:33 PM  
Blogger michelle said...

I have been facing teh same demons as you Linda. Sorry I haven't been in touch properly. I understand what you are saying though about feeling fat and not loving yourself. Sure tiredness has a lot to do with it. Take care with that packing. I may have to sneak a look in your case to see what I should wear.

3:20 PM  
Blogger Paulene's Journal Journey said...

Awww *hugs*

I've had those days since Xmas too.
It seems when one travels the blogs that many of us are in the same boat.

It's a tired old saying but think about it again "nothing tastes as good as success feels"
How true is that???

As we shovel in whatever guilty food we just HAD to we really enjoy it??
How does it compare to waking up in the morning knowing the day before was a resounding success??

Doesn't really match up does it??

But you are already back on are dealing with an immense amount of stress with Al away and you are human. You may slip. But you'll get back up!
I know that because you'd never have made it this far otherwise.

Have a good day tomorrow.
And if I dont' talk to you before then....have a SPECTACULAR time in Sydney!!!

Cheers P

7:51 PM  
Blogger Leighanne said...

I hope you are feeling much better today:)
Have a great time in Sydney!!

9:11 AM  
Blogger Briony said...

I hope you're feeling better today. We all have our "fat" days and we just have to hope that they pass quickly and don't hang around for a week I guess.
I hope you feel slimmer today. Maybe you should take a look at your "before" photos and remind yourself what a fantastic job you've done and how far you've come.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Philippa said...

I know how you feel - I've had a lot of fat days recently, as you know!

You are only human, as we all are, and I know you'll rise up from this and get back to feeling fabulous!!

If I don't talk to you before, have a FAB time in Sydney! Can't wait to hear all about it!


8:10 PM  
Blogger Kt said...

I think that this post goes to show that it really does take our minds a while to catch up with how we look. You are below your goal weight but you have days when you feel like this. Just like it often takes a photo to realise how big one has become. It seems to go both ways. Linda you look incredible, young & vivacious (sp?), I hope u are feeling that way very soon! Hope u r having a nice wknd & enjoy your busy social calendar!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

Great to see you are back after your break from blogging, and I love the new look. Reminds me of some book cover I say on Oprah written by Anita Shrieve.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Slim Suzy said...

Hope you had a lovely weekend and you are all ready for your fun trip to Sydney.

6:31 AM  

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