Friday, January 13, 2006

The weekend - thank goodness !!!

Flutterbye got me thinking after a post the she wrote last week – why is it that we don’t think we are worth spoiling ? At the time I left a comment saying that we should spoil ourselves because we deserve it but the last couple of nights at work I have really been thinking about it some more.

For a while my motto has been “Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do” – while I know that there are some things which you just have to do no matter what you feel about them, when I have a choice, why do I choose what I know will make someone else happy ? Why do I put others before myself ? Why do I feel guilty when I want to do things for me ? Or even worse, when I am doing something for me, I spend the time feeling guilty because I feel I shouldn’t be doing it ? Why do I feel like I am being a bad mother / wife / work colleague if I do something for myself or say no I can't do something for someone else ? Why do I feel obliged to say yes when my heart is screaming NO NO NO ????? This is not to say that I am never selfish – there are times when I am selfish but those times are spent feeling guilty because I am doing what I want and that may be at the expense of someone being able to do what they want to do.

So, I have decided that I am going to occasionally start doing things that I want to do, not necessarily for any particular reason, but because I can, because I want to and because it is for me ! I am going to stop giving myself the last few slices of the loaf for sandwiches – the others can have a turn at having those, I’m going to choose the DVD I would like to see – not the one that I think the others will enjoy, if I am sharing something out between us and there are only two left – I might get one of the two left and one of the others will have to miss out. Whatever it is I am going to try to start putting myself first some of the time and more importantly, I am going to work on not feeling guilty about it. There are many occasions when I have done things for myself but it really defeats the object of the exercise if I feel guilty while doing it.

I am now in a position where I feel like I am in control of what I am putting into my mouth (at least most of the time) and I need to take back control of the thoughts I am putting into my head and my attitude towards everything around me. I can make the changes that I want in my life but it is something that I am going to have to work on because it like any new habit – it has to be learnt. I have given my power away to others and not stood up for myself when I should have. This is definitely not a fool proof plan but at least it is something for me to work towards this year – that and keeping my weight under control. Although I have to say that right now I am really positive about my weight and my ability to maintain – especially with the support of all you wonderful people out there.

I am off to friends for dinner and then an early night in bed. Tomorrow we have to go and buy a lawn mower and then off to the hair dresser for my new colour and then hopefully our new mattresses will be delivered soooooooooooooo I may even wake up on Sunday morning feeling like a whole new person - able to walk away from my bed, not having had to roll out of bed like I was 9 months pregnant and hobble around for the first ½ hour of the day – how fan-bloody-tastic would that be !!!!!! I hope that you all have a great weekend – take care and be good. Remember – you owe it to yourselves and your families to be healthy and happy - because you are worth it !!!!

TFTD : It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others – sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

TIAGF : The weekend ahead of me


Blogger Slim Suzy said...

Good on you!!!!

My DH is always telling me to move out of the way of people when we go into town and the other day I told him I was not in this world to get out of everyone's way all the time - they can get out of my way for a change!!!

GO US!!!!!!!!!!

6:17 PM  
Blogger Briony said...

Geez you have been doing some serious thinking. I think a lot of what you've said comes with being female. I'm the same, I take the crust of the bread, I take the smallest pieces of whatever we're having for dinner (although that's probably a GOOD thing!LOL) and I always put myself last. It's time to turn the tables!! I'm with you, let's start with something small and hopefully, eventually, we'll put ourselves on the same level as the people that are important to us!
Have a fantastic weekend, can't wait to see your hair colour.

6:56 AM  
Blogger kathrynoh said...

You will be a new person with a new hair colour and a new bed :)

I think half the battle is realising when we aren't putting ourselves first - you can get so used to looking after others that you don't even notice half the time.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Jadey 0:-) said...

ooog you are going to feel like a whole new woman!! I hope the bed is amazing!

3:57 PM  
Blogger M said...

Well done

It is so true. I feel guilty when buying a top on sale, but DH has no problem spending up big on himself. If I have money I am more likely to spend it on the boys rather than myself. OR I make sure everyone has what they need first which usually means I don't take the time to have that bath, massage, rest etc. Thanks for this Linda, I may just start doing a few things for me too :D

7:41 AM  

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