Journey To The New Me

2010-02-18T22:48:00.000+10:00

I have moved .....

2008-12-17T22:47:00.001+10:00

For anyone interested in following my journey - I have moved to http://lmbedohave.blogspot.com/

I felt a new start was what I needed.

Take care and go safely !
Me

An update

2008-05-14T21:40:00.002+10:00

To be honest I don't even know where to begin. It has been so long since I have posted, tracked, watched what I am eating - I haven't even stepped on the scales and for those who know what a 'scale whore' I am, you know that this means only one thing - I am out of control.

I can live with it right now. Work is like a mad house - I have made plans to have breakfast sorted out at work from next month - bought a bowl and spoon so I can have jungle oats at work - when I am working 12-13 hr days and leaving home at 5.30am - I can't bear the thought of having to eat before I leave so what would happen is I would then go to the staff kiosk at about 9am and buy something to eat. Then because I left too early to make lunch, I would have to buy lunch. And then by 3pm I was feeling totally frazzled so I would have to visit the snack machine. Then by 5pm when I knew I wouldn't be getting home until 7pm, I would visit the snack machine again - needless to say the money drained out of my purse faster than the bath water down a plug hole !!! So I have to make another plan for this month end - I have to be more organised and I have to be prepared - I can do this !!!!

I also completed a metabloic typing questionaire today so will wait to see what the results of that are - hopefully this will be able to help with making me feel better and help me to lose this weight that I just seem to be lugging around with me all the time.

We are off to Sydney next weekend for a friend's 40th birthday. Al and I fly down on Friday morning and we are spending the day at Taronga Zoo and then K will fly down early evening and we will pick her up and then spend the weekend there before flying back on Sunday night - I just hope the weather is kind to us poor people from sunny South East Queensland !!!

Take care everyone and be good !

A point post

2008-04-10T22:32:00.005+10:00

Have a few things to talk about so thought I would put them in point form (only because I am short of time - again !!)
1. I resigned from my job as accountant at the school and have accepted the position of finance manager at a private hospital which includes 4 day clinics - start my new position on 23rd April.
2. Lost 1.0kg this week at WW but didn't deserve it - my body is playing mind games with me and not giving me the results I am expecting - a bad week does not normally see a loss of 1kg especially seeing as it was preceded by 2 bad weeks after Easter.
3. I was really good over Easter - the half price Easter eggs AFTER Eater were the killer and then the downward spiral started from there.
4. My studies are going well - I did really well in both practical assignments and topped the class in the written exam. I am now doing anatomy and physiology and it is doing my head in. Because it is such a concentrated course, we cover an extreme amount of work in 3 hours - doing this on a Monday and Wednesday night means that I spend the first half of the week trying to get my head around what is being taught and the second half of the week trying to go over it all so that I have half an idea of what he was talking about when I go to lectures the following week. Plus there is HEAPS of homework and lots of colouring in of our anatomy book.
5. K is on holiday although it has turned out to be more of a working holiday than a rest holiday - she has homework for every one of her subjects as well as going to extra maths for 3hrs per day for 3 days of the holiday.
6. Other than that - everything else is pretty much the same old same old - battling to get any exercise done, have days of drinking water and other days when I don't drink any just as I have days of watching what I eat and then days when I don't. I need to get my act together and get these last kilos off - I know I can do it and I need to stop sabotaging my plans.

Take care everyone and be good !

Easter already - where has the time gone to ?

2008-03-17T23:33:00.002+10:00

I don't know where the time is going to but I do know that I am not getting on here to post as often as I would like - really wish I could blog from work because then I could post during my lunch half hour and it would be over and done with !!!

Tonight I went to weigh (and lost 1.3kg for the week) taking my total loss to date to 10kg exactly !!! I was very pleased about this as it is the lowest I have been in I don't know how long. The last time I weighed this when I was going down was in November 2004 - not sure when I passed it going back up but the good thing is that I am now moving in the right direction. I just need to keep this happening.

Work is a drag - am busy looking for something to move to but there isn't much out there at the moment. K is settling in the new academy - it is such a change from what she was used to and it certainly a challenge but one which she has really embraced and taken on and seems to be doing very well with it. She was chosen as the science ambassador for UQ which made us all very proud - they had to write an essay on were chosen on the content of the essay - I think there were about 15 who applied. She has been selected for the South Coast U19 softball side again - thank goodness the tournament is on the Coast this year as I don't know where we would have found the money for her to travel anywhere else in the country.

My course is going really well - I had my first major assessment tonight and that went a lot better than I expected. I have my theory and prac exam on Wednesday night so hold thumbs that that goes as well as it did tonight.

We have all had the dreaded lurgy that has been going around - sore throats, coughing, wheezing (in A's case) and I, once again, lost my voice - for nearly 3 weeks !!!!!!!!!!!!! As usual, it is very frustrating - I even went for 6 days with absolutely no talking - only note writing - and still my voice didn't want to come back. I obviously have a weak spot in my voice box because most times if I get this type of virus, I lose my voice - I guess I should be happy that it was for only nearly 3 weeks and not any longer !!!!!!!!!!

Well, it is time I hit the shower and then bed. I am trying to get to read posts but haven't been commenting as our computer seems to have slowed right down and it takes so long to try to post a comment, invariably I get annoyed and shut down and move onto the next blog.

Take care, be good and have a great Easter weekend - even if the weather is miserable !!!!

Quick catch up

2008-02-23T11:38:00.002+10:00

Well the one week became two weeks before I was able to pull things back into line and I landed up with a 1.8kg gain. Luckily I was back on track and last week lost 1.3kg so nearly back to where I was before I fell off the rails.

I feel a little more motivated at the moment - not enough to actually exercise but in a better head space for now.

Off to spend some time in the pool - the temps are really up there today !

Have a great weekend and take care.

I'm still here

2008-02-09T19:08:00.000+10:00

I am not doing very well but I am still here. The last two weeks have been extremely difficult - what with a stay at Jupiter's Casino with their full buffet breakfast thrown in and visits to friends involving scrumptious food, not making any time to exercise and not being able to face the scale - I have no idea of what my weight is doing apart from going up and up.

A asked me today when I am going to be back on track and I said Monday - that is D-day for facing the scale and getting my weight-loss life back on track. It is also the day my lectures start and I am very excited about that - the start of a new chapter in my life and one that I am raring to take on.

We bought a WW electronic scale the other day which also measures, body fat actual and %, body water % and bone mass - so I have the tools to keep on track, I just need to use them.

Will be around to read blogs this weekend - now that we are back on broadband and not dial up speed, I can catch up on what everyone has been up to. Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Second loss

2008-01-22T20:59:00.000+10:00

Last night I went to weigh having not weighed on my scale during the week - and was EXTREMELY pleased with a loss of .........drum roll please ........................1.5kg !!!! Yes, that means 3.2kg in 2 weeks.

I have been for a walk tonight as well as drinking water each day - most days between 1.5 - 2L - sometimes as much as nearly 3L when I take a 750ml bottle to Coles at night. I have also been trying out new recipes from old WW recipe books - and I am loving the varied menu we are eating.

Have a great week everyone and be good !

Another great day !

2008-01-20T21:16:00.000+10:00

Today was a great day - food wise, water wise, exercise wise and entertainment wise - just an all round fantastic day !

Got up this morning and after a breakfast of apricot delight toast, went down to Coolangatta to watch the beach cricket semi-finals and finals. Got there and the queue to get in was miles long (entrance was free) so gave that a miss and wandered down the one street of shops. A had a Big Chief burger and I had Subway for lunch together with a 750ml bottle of water. Then we decided to go to Robina to see a movie - A got tickets for his birthday in Sept which we haven't used yet. So off we went to see American Gangster (with no snacks to eat during the movie !!!) - not a bad movie - you don't have to dash out and see it but not bad if you do get to it.

Then came home and went for a 50min walk even though all I wanted to do was veg out - thanks A for encouraging me enough to get out there and get moving. We had a really healthy dinner - lavash bread with lettuce, carrots, avo and philly cheese - thanks Sue - we had similar for lunch yesterday and it was just yummo. Plus another 750ml of water.

Now we are off to sit in the spa for a while before going to bed - unless the weather in Pretoria clears and the ODI between SA and WI is on - in which case we will watch some of that - or some of the tennis if the match is interesting enough.

Have a fantastic week everyone - take care and I will be back on Tuesday with an update of my weigh-in result tomorrow night. My scales at home have been playing up (25kg gain one day and then 20kg loss the next !!!!) so, scale whore that I am, I haven't stepped on my scales since last Monday night - will see how I go tomorrow night when I get to WW.

Tracking along pretty well

2008-01-19T22:11:00.000+10:00

Things are going well for me - tracking online each day and I have even managed to get between 1-2 litres of water down each day for the past couple of days. This is a big accomplishment for me given how I really dislike the taste of water although I can stomach filtered water and today have been drinking the lime Mizone which is quite pleasant tasting - although I have to be honest and say that after all that water - nothing (except maybe some Amarula) beats an ice cold Coke Zero !!!

My exercise is still non-existent - I know that I need to get moving but have been so tired (probably because I haven't been exercising) and just can't be bothered. Plus there is cricket and tennis on TV and with K being on holiday find that we get home from work, the TV is on and we flop down and then it is a battle to get up and do anything.

I did pull out my recipe books and made dinner from one for tonight before we went to work. I have bought ingredients for another three dinners out of the cookbooks - I am so tired of the same old same old dinners - needed to find something different.

Tomorrow we are looking at maybe driving down to Coolangatta to watch the beach cricket - we don't have tickets but they are giving them away from 9am - so will see what time we wake up and whether we can be bothered or not.

Well - that's it for now - will be back on Monday or Tuesday with an update on how weigh-in went on Monday night. We have stock take at Coles on Monday night so it will probably not happen until Tuesday - I hate stock takes - they are such a waste of time especially when they get the school kids in who are so half arsed about counting - it isn't that it is that difficult but geez they manage to stuff it up every time !!!!!

A good result

2008-01-15T20:52:00.000+10:00

Lst night A and I went for a walk as soon as we got home from work and then I changed and went to weigh. I lost 1.7kg - not enough to wipe out the gain of December but certainly enough to kick start my weight loss efforts this year. I also received the Slimmer of the Week award - am sure that won't happen many more times until I get to goal but it was good to get the recognition within the group.

My eating and water today have been great - I have finished the day 3.5 points under and I did manage to drink 4 glasses of water - even if the last two glasses had to be skulled as I was about to walk out the door - I made a pact with myself that whatever water goes into the jug in the morning has to be out the jug in the afternoon (and I'm not allowed to use it to water the office plants !!!)

I have been catching up on a few blogs tonight and now I remember how motivating this used to be for me - when I see how successful others have been / are, it really makes me feel like there is no reason why I can't be successful too. Actually when I look at photos of me when I got to goal the last time, it almost breaks my heart to see how I have let myself go and allowed myself to let the kilos pile on again. But, there is no point in dwelling on what used to be or crying over added kilos - what I do need to dwell in on is keeping my motivation up and myself organised enough to make it happen again. And I know I can do it - for Pete's sake, I have done it more times than I care to remember. Each time I get to goal I say "This is it - never again will I put the weight on again" - but I have and when I look back I realise that there are lessons which I am obviously not learning hence the need to re-visit the lesson !!!!

Tonight when someone was surfing the TV channels there was a programme about people in their mid-late 30's changing careers etc because they realised that the big house high powered jobs were not making them feel fulfilled. I am obviously a late starter as it has taken me until my early 40's to realise this - or maybe I should say to actually do something about it because for many years I have realised that being an accountant is not what makes me happy but I have done nothing about changing my career - until now that is.

2008 is the year for me - it is the year when I am going to achieve all that I am capable of achieving and I am going to be successful in all that I do - in my journey to the new me, in my career, in my family life and in my studies. It is going to happen and the reason for that is because I am going to make it happen. Join me for the ride - if you are up to it !!!!

Take care and have an absolutely fantastic week !

5 great days !

2008-01-12T18:10:00.000+10:00

Another good day under my belt ! This morning after waking up we sat around for a while before K and A decided to start a jigsaw puzzle. Then it was time for K to go to work and A and I got stuck into the garden.

The back garden is the last thing that needs to be done before all the renovations are completed (except the painting of the front gabled area but I am waiting on loan scaffolding for that so it may be a while !!). We cut and whipper snipped the front and back gardens and got stuck into the beds which haven't really been touched for a long long time. Unfortunately we didn't get it all finished but then this morning we were only really going to cut the grass and we landed up doing heaps more than that.

A trip to the tip was in order for all the cuttings that we had but we jumped in the pool for a while before we went there. Got home and some friends popped over to visit and they left just in time for us to go and collect K from work.

A and K are sitting working on the jigsaw puzzle and I am off to do dinner - very easy tonight - left over chicken for more chicken rolls !!!! We had thought we may use A's birthday present of two movie tickets but I can see that the two of them won't want to drag themselves away from the puzzle so think it will be a stay at home night tonight - maybe we will go tomorrow night instead.

Have a great Sunday everyone and take care !

4 great days !

2008-01-11T23:05:00.000+10:00

Taking this one day at a time is certainly working for me - I have now had 4 good days and not even one bad moment. My shopping trips to Coles have been totally uneventful in terms of buying something and eating it in secret because we all know that what we eat in secret doesn't have to be counted in our daily points, don't we ? I have done no secret eating in 4 days - and, while this may not seem like a long time, it certainly is when you are used to eating quite a lot of things in secret each day.

We had friends over for dinner tonight and the chicken rolls were delish - A cooked the chicken to perfection and the rolls which K brought home from work were so fresh I am sure they came out the oven as she left her shift at 3pm.

There is not very much planned for the weekend - some chores around the house and garden and YAY no working on Saturday night - maybe we could use A's birthday present of two movies tickets which has been sitting on a fridge door since September !

For Christmas he was given a nights accomodation, the latest show and breakfast for two at Conrad Jupiter's and we booked that for 1st February so that is something to look forward to. Hopefully by then I will have lost a few kilos and able to wear something reasonably decent to the show. We can check in from 2pm so plan to leave work early - not sure what we will do when we get there although with any luck all the holiday makers will have gone back to wherever they came from and it won't be too busy.

On that note I am off to bed and will hopefully be back sometime on the weekend - this forum and going to weigh-in each week are the two things which keep me honest in my eating. We haven't had much chance to exercise this week - we got our cycle done on Monday night. Tuesday night we had my folks and aunt around for dinner as she was leaving this morning to go back to South Africa and it was the best night to have them around as we don't work then. Wednesday night we were off to the chiro which was just fantastic as we haven't seen her since before we left for Spain due to our medical aid portion running out. Thursday it was school shoe and stationery shopping time and by the time we had got all of that and then gone around to say goodbye to my Aunt it was time to get home, get changed and be off to work. Then tonight we had friends over for dinner so after work a quick dash into the shops to get some nibblies (for them - I didn't have any - go Me !!!) and then home to get dinner prepared. I am not promising myself to exercise on the weekend but if the opportunity presents itself, I hope to take up the challenge and get out there and get moving.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Two fantastic days

2008-01-09T19:35:00.000+10:00

Well my journey is, once again, under way. I have had two really good days with even having some water to drink today - go Me !!!! I am going to try the "Finish a couple of glasses of water before having a Coke Zero" - that is how I got the two glasses in today. Not as much as it should be but at least it was a start.

Food has been good - I have been tracking everything that has gone into my mouth. Last night we had friends over for dinner - BBQ chicken, potato, butternut and peas and they brought lemon cheesecake from the Cheesecake Shop for dessert. I was very proud of myself for not having any !!!

Today I popped into Coles while I was out dropping the banking off and, for the first time in I don't know how long, I walked out without a chocolate, a packet of biscuits, a packet of chips or anything apart from a Coke Zero !!! Yay - go Me again !

I guess if I can continue to take this journey one day at a time, I will eventually get there. I know it isn't going to happen overnight but it will happen. Anne (sorry I can't remember how to add the hyper link to Anne's blog but this is the address if you would like to read about her experience http://annesbattletogoal.blogspot.com/) tells the story of how she saw herself in a video and got her mojo back because she didn't want to go back to looking like that - well I had a similar thing happen but in reverse. We bought one of those boxes that has photos on the outside and a whole heap of little photo albums inside and so we pulled out the photos albums we have going back 30 odd years. Not that I had ever really forgotten how thin I used to be - I think I just chose not to remember (especially since I put all the weight on while pregnant). K wanted to know what illness A and I had in the photos as we were so thin we must have been sick !!!! Needless to say, I will never ever get to that weight again but I know that I can get a lot lower than what I am right now - and that is my mission this year - along with going back to studying and changing my career path.

Have a great week everyone, take care and look after yourself.

Happy New Year from Miss Piggy

2008-01-07T20:39:00.000+10:00

Well – the holiday season has come and gone and the kilos have come and not yet gone !!! But, I am not going to worry about that – I made the decision not to make my life a misery with worrying about my weight over this period of the year (no doubt I will regret that decision when I get on the scale tonight but hey, it was fun while it lasted.)

I ate too much and on occasions I drank a little too much too but I had a good time. Father Christmas spent most of his money at other people’s homes but that was OK because we all had a good time and enjoyed the time we got to share with each other. We had a great family lunch on Christmas day with the extended family from Perth able to join us – it certainly made for a festive day.

But, I am going to face that scale tonight – not that I particularly want to – but I know that I have to before my weight spirals totally out of control. I would imagine that I will have put on at least the weight I lost before Christmas but it is all good because if I hadn’t of made that effort in those weeks leading up to Christmas I would have been 5-6kgs heavier than I am now.

Onto other really exciting things – I am going back to study this year. The course starts in February and runs through to November and it is through the Massage Schools of Queensland. While for many years I have felt that I am too old to change careers, I have finally decided to bite the bullet and do it. This will be with a view to opening a reflexology/massage practice in the future. I did have an “Oh shit !” moment towards the end of last week when I realised that it is probably close to 15 years ago since I last had to study and write exams but figure it is a bit like riding a bicycle, you never really stop knowing how to do it – you just have to get back into practice !! At least I am hoping that is what it will be like. I am EXTREMELY excited about this prospect and, if it doesn’t pay off, at least I won’t die wondering what would have happened if I had only tried !

To this end it may mean even less time for me to blog because while I have had to give up two nights per week at Coles, I will continue with the other two nights that I currently work just to keep my hand in and also then I will move back to permanent part-time staff when I am finished the course.

I hope you all enjoyed the festive season and that you are all fired up for 2008 – I know that I am and that there are going to be amazing things happening this year.

Take care and look after yourselves.

Added later : Got home from work and went on a 9.2km cycle - not the fastest time and boy did our legs feel it on the way home but exercise none the less. Then dashed off to WW - YAY a 3.8kg gain over the whole month - have to be happy with that given what I was expecting and how I have been eating and drinking !!! It wasn't the usual lady there and she was shocked when I got excited about such a big gain - told her I was expecting more and that I was happy with that !!!! Then got home and walked with A and K to the servo to get K's tyres pumped up as she is going to ride to work and back. So, it is all good in the M household.

Have a great week and go safely !

Another little loss

2007-12-05T18:38:00.000+10:00

I suppose that 0.4 is better than nothing but I have to admit that when I got off the scale and she said “Well done” and I saw what was written in my book I was more than a little miffed. Then when I thought about it on the way home, I realised that if I am not giving my weight loss effort 100% each week, I really can’t complain about not having bigger losses. More good days that bad days does not constitute a good enough effort for a big weekly loss. More slack days than exercise days does not constitute a good enough effort for a big weekly loss therefore I must shut up and either give it 100% or be happy with whatever I lose. So, with that change of attitude I was actually happy with my 0.4 which takes me to a total loss of 3.2kgs in 4 weeks – not fantastic but certainly a hell of a lot better than putting on 3.2kg with a couple of weeks to go to Christmas.

I have been finding that I am letting little things get me down – things that I used to be able to shake off and not worry about are starting to worry me and I need to change how I deal with these situations. I know that I should only worry about things I can change – and accept the things which I can’t and stop worrying about them.

Tonight we are going to Outback Spectacular http://outbackspectacular.myfun.com.au/The-Show.asp - the whole fandamily – us, in-laws, aunts – anyone related. It is supposed to be a really good show (and for the price you wouldn’t expect anything less) but I have to say that I am really not in the mood to go. Maybe it will be one of those situations where once you get there you have a great time even though you didn’t want to go in the first place – at least that is what I am banking on happening !!!!

Thursday will see us off to K’s new school to buy her uniforms for next year – she is very excited, although rather anxious at the same time. I guess it is a huge step for a 15 year old to make – after 10 years of studying and being taught a certain way to change and be taught and have to study a different way probably isn’t going to be an easy thing to do but I am sure that she will be fine. On Friday night we went to Speech Night and she was awarded Academic Honours for Semester 2 and came first in Spanish for the whole year which as you can imagine, made us very proud parents.

I will be happy when Christmas is over – all the celebrations are starting to get to me and I guess that is another thing making it so difficult to stay focused and on track with what I am eating – teachers bringing in boxes of biscuits and chocolates to say thank you for all we do for them, more Christmas and birthday functions than you can poke a stick at plus a big wedding anniversary coming up with lots of celebrating happening then – not sure if I need the medal or A needs it !!! Maybe we both deserve one !!

Have a great hump day tomorrow and take care.

Update : We went to the show last night - what a fantastic time we had. I can highly recommend it to anyone coming to the Gold Coast. We all had such a great time - Kaitlin and I had the vegetarian option but the eye fillet that the others had looked like it was going to melt in their mouths. We all cheered, clapped, stomped our feet and waved our 'yeeha' hats throughout the show and generally had a great evening out. Thank goodness I didn't pike out and not go at all !!!!!!!!!!!!

Another great day !

2007-11-28T18:20:00.000+10:00

Just got in from a really good cycle - 45 mins with avg speed of 20.5kph - slower than yesterday but cycled into more of a headwind than we had yesterday.

Food going well - found these John West tuna to go yesterday and had one as a snack this morning - very tasty and quite filling for 2.5 points.

Am off to warm up the casserole I made last night in the slow cooker, then two loads of washing to do before going to work tonight.

Have a great Thursday and Friday everyone - take care !

Monday blues

2007-11-27T19:20:00.000+10:00

I am not sure why I am feeling so down today – we had a really productive weekend with a Christmas dinner on Friday night, two really good cycles (one for 30 mins averaging 20.6kph and the other for 75mins averaging 17.8kph) plus we replaced the servery outside our kitchen window (although A has now decided that he used the wrong brackets and so we have to replace those next weekend – bugger !!!!) and met up with family and friends at Paradise Point for dinner last night.

My weight on the scales yesterday morning was looking like I was heading for a good loss tonight – unfortunately, a 3kg jump from yesterday morning to this morning will mean I will have to be extremely lucky to even show a loss tonight. To say I was annoyed would be a total understatement – until I was drying my hair and thinking back on what I had eaten over the week. While I am under points for the week when taking into account the exercise that I did – I have eaten in the region of 30-32 sugar points for the week – well how can I possibly expect to lose weight if I am going to eat like that – I can’t can I ?

So, with that in mind, I plan to limit my sugar points this week (I do understand that WW no longer actually counts sugar points – and that they say to eat in moderation – can anyone tell me exactly what is ‘in moderation’ ? ) Surely more than 2 sugar points a day isn’t considered excessive – but then 14 sugar points used to be enough to keep my sweet tooth happy – why did this week land up being such a blow out ? Because I didn’t actually monitor total sugar points – until I saw my weight this morning and went back and had a look at what I had done and remembered all the sugar that I had eaten. The worst was that we had had chips and dip at PP last night and I didn’t have any – a real sacrifice in my part. I suppose – the good side to that is that I would have been even more up if I had of had the chips and dip.

There is so much going on at the moment that I am trying to get my head around – I hate being unsettled and playing the waiting game – if I knew some things one way or the other I could make further decisions but waiting for answers just kills me. I know that there is nothing I can do to hurry it up but I am sooooooooo impatient – I just want to know and move on !

Will update after weigh-in – feel I am better off facing up to the scale and taking the hit and at least being able to start the week off on the right footing.

Updated and posted Tuesday 27th November : Lost 0.3 last night - not too bad when I considered all the extra sugar points I consumed. Have just got back from another really good cycle - 35 mins at an avg of 21.2kph - up 1kph from the last short quick cycle (as opposed to the longer slower cycle on Saturday morning).

Am off to finish a casserole for tomorrow night and then eat the lovely chicken kebabs and veg that we are having tonight - another good day under my belt - YAY Me !!!

Have a great rest of the week everyone and I'll be back posting in a couple of days time.

Saturday morning

2007-11-24T08:28:00.000+10:00

Just a quick post before I am out on my bicycle. A is helping his brother this morning so I got up, took K to work, came home and had breakfast and now I am going to put my iPod on and get on my bicycle.

Last night we went for a really good cycle - only 1/2 hr as we had to go to a work dinner for A - but, better than doing nothing before going out for a rather rich meal. I didn't have an entree and had barramundi for my main course. That would have been great except that it had a mornay sauce on with avo and prawns in it - all in all a lovely meal but way too high in points. I only had Diet Coke (no Coke Zero there) to drink and no dessert - well that is until we got home and found that my Mom had made a trial run of the chocolate mousse she wants to make for Christmas lunch. That really blew my points out of the water as I am sure that there was not one low fat / no fat ingredient in it. I didn't have more than a couple of teaspoons but probably still way to many points for the day hence the feeling of guilt and the real reason for me getting out there on my bicycle.

So, on that note, I will be off - definitely more beneficial for me to be on my bicycle rather than sitting on my butt at the computer reading and typing away !!! Food will be really good today and hopefully, with some hard work this weekend, my over indulgence of last night will be a distant memory when I go to weigh-in on Monday night.

Have a fantastic weekend and take care !

A better day today

2007-11-21T18:25:00.000+10:00

After being more than a little disappointed with my weight loss on Monday night, I decided that I really needed to pull finger if I wanted to see a decent loss at Christmas time.

All well and good except if I don't actually do anything about it but just think I should be doing something about it. My food intake has been good but my exercise has been non-existent. Last night I was going to go for a cycle when we got home from work - instead I got home and lay down (my infamous headache was lurking again) - got up and made dinner - mince, mash and veggies and then went back to lie down again. Any excuse not to exercise.

I got home from work today (having debated back and forth in my head on whether to cycle or not) - checked some mail and then A said - lets go for a walk. I said - no lets cycle and that was it - we got changed and were out.

Had to put air in the tyres as they were a little flat (even though we cycled on Saturday like that !!) and then hit the road - 11.1kms at 20.6kph - not to be sneezed at given it was our first half serious cycle in forever. I'm so glad I did it - I feel so much better now - even ready to tackle work at 9pm !!!!

Have a great week everyone and take care !

A small loss

2007-11-19T19:49:00.000+10:00

Weigh in tonight wasn't as successful as I would have liked - 0.4kg since last Wednesday. This was a little disappointing seeing as I was 1kg down on my electronic scale at home. This means 2.5kg in two weeks which isn't to be sneezed at I know but I still feel it could have been better.

A and I did go for a cycle on Saturday evening and are making more of an effort to do something in the evenings this week - except for tonight as it is my folks 47th anniversary so we went to the local bowling club for dinner as A, myself and my Dad are working tonight and so couldn't go anywhere where there wasn't going to be quick service and good food.

Yesterday we spent most of the day moving two of the four water tanks as they were pushing the wall over once they were full of water. So we had to replumb them in their new homes and we put in a first flush as well - hopefully that it is the last time we have to do anything with those two tanks. Next we have to move the other two tanks to their proper home and get them all plumbed in - hopefully we only have to do them once.

Not much else happening here - busy as always. Last night I signed my life away with forms for K's new school - who would have thought you would have to fill in so many forms for one person to go to school !!! The down side is this is costing us a lot of money - more than we were expecting to have to pay. Not that we begrudge paying the money - just that we weren't expecting it to be this much. Never mind - I guess it is a small price to pay for the recognition which she has received for her ability.

Am off to work but will try to post again later in the week - take care everyone and look after yourselves.

Time to face the music (or should that be scale ?)

2007-11-14T18:45:00.000+10:00

I’m off for my first weigh in since getting back on track and facing the scale last Monday night. I couldn’t make the meeting on Monday night this week due to a meeting which came up unexpectedly but I will be off there tonight to see how I have done. My scales are showing a downward movement (which is always good to see) but, as you know, when you go to the meetings, it is really only what their scales say that counts. None the less, I am happy with how I have gone this week except for one not very major hiccup last night but, I am over that and back on track from this morning.

Other than that there really isn’t much else to say. I was going to go for a walk last night when I got home from work but both Al and I were delayed in leaving work and by the time I got home it was after 6pm and my headache had come back a vengeance despite a visit to the physio in the morning. I am back off to see him on Friday morning as he is going away next week so hopefully that will do the trick to clear this headache once and for all.

After reading Suzy’s post on looking through magazines for new recipes, I have realised that I really need to get motivated to find some interesting dishes to make instead of the same old same old which I have been making. I am sure that is partly responsible for my lack of interest in cooking and has lead me to, on more than one occasion, have a WW frozen meal just because I can’t be bothered to cook and Al and K have had take-aways. Thursday is always a bad night for me because K is at work until 7.30 and I land up mooching around doing chores etc at home before going to fetch her – not sure why I can’t get my act together on this night but it never seems to happen.

On that note, I am going to pop over to Coles to see if I can find anything interesting to cook for dinner tonight – alternatively, I will have a dull and boring meal tonight and maybe find some inspiration in some magazines or the internet which I can cook another night.

TFTD : Laugh and learn, because we all make mistakes.

TIAGF : My headache which, while not completely gone, is improving.

Edit : Just got home from weigh-in - lost 2.1kgs (now back to being a 70's girl again) - YAY !!!!!! I suppose it is to be expected, to a certain extent, given it is my first week (10 days) back - but very happy with that start !

4 days down

2007-11-10T08:39:00.000+10:00

Well 4 days back on WW and I am doing really well. Actually, I guess that depends on your idea of ‘really well’ – I have had a headache since Thursday last week and haven’t been able to get rid of it despite a visit to the dr and two days (and nights) off work. I suppose I probably could have blamed it this week on the lack of junk food – but am sure that isn’t really a reason.

I have been doing really well – even though I have spent two days at home, I managed to resist raiding the pantry when I was awake. On two occasions I went as far as taking the biscuits and lollies out and put them onto a plate before realising that my desire to lose weight out-weighed my desire to eat the junk and I put them back into the packet. I know that there are those who subscribe to the “No junk food in the house” theory and, while I love the idea, I do feel it is unfair for me to enforce that in a home where one of me is trying to lose weight and two people are happy with how they look and they can have a few lollies or biscuits and stop !! It isn’t their fault that I can’t have a couple and stop. I know that there will be times when it will be difficult for me to say NO but I will cross that bridge when I come to it – nobody said that this journey was going to be easy and past experiences tell me that sometimes I will succumb BUT that won’t be the end of the world – it will just mean I need to get back on track and carry on.

Tonight we are off to Kaitlin’s sports dinner – she is getting a couple of sporting award and we are very proud of her. There are times when she annoys the absolute hell out of me but on the whole she is a good kid and she has accomplished amazing things. Next year will be a big challenge for all of us and I am glad that she has set up an alternative plan in case it doesn’t work out. While she has always been a high achiever – their thoughts are that an 85-90% mark in a test / assignment is considered average !!!!

My exercise this week has been non-existent but given how I have been feeling, I am not worried. I know that I will get into the exercise groove when I am able but for now at least I am making some effort towards losing those excess kilos. I won’t be able to make the weigh-in on Monday night as I have a meeting at the new school but will be going to the Wednesday evening class so that I can see how I am doing. Hopefully by then I will have been able to go on a couple of walks after work and maybe even a cycle on the weekend – all provided I can get rid of this headache. I have another appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning and hopefully he will be able to suggest something else if it is still hanging around in the morning.

I do have a morning tea at Muffin Break tomorrow morning for my Aunt’s birthday but I have factored that into my points so it will all be fine. I am not sure what is on the menu at the sports dinner tonight but have some saved points up my sleeve so will just have to see what they serve. I am sure that if I don’t have dessert, I should be within my points and OK. I will have to make sure that I don’t have any of the nibblies on the table because the trouble with those is once I start it is so hard to stop and I think it is easier if I just don’t start in the first place.

TFTD : If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

TIAGF : It being Friday

Edit : Had a great time last night. K was awarded full colours for softball and also voted Most Promising softball player of 2007. Food wasn't bad - I didn't over eat dinner and had no dessert but I did have 2 Fantales which were strewn around the table !!! All in all a good (but very long) evening !

Finally, I've taken the step

2007-11-07T16:04:00.000+10:00

and gone back to WW. I have been trying to get there for the past two weeks but due to circumstances beyond my control, I haven’t made it across their threshold.

I made it this week despite Al saying I should leave it until I feel better. I have had this headache since last Thursday and have not been able to shake it off and it made him think that I should wait until I was fully recovered before going to WW. The problem with that is that there is always going to be a reason for why I should wait until next week – another dinner, another Christmas function, another birthday, another anniversary or even worse, waiting until my head is in the right space and then before I know it, it will be January 2008 and I will be at least another couple of kilos heavier. So, while I won’t be able to lose all I would like to before Christmas, at least I know I have to face the scales each week and that does help to keep my on track and there is the chance that I could actually be a couple of kilos lighter by Christmas.

I was very sad to open my WW book and see just how far I have let things get out of hand – the last time I weighed in I was nearly 5kgs below my goal weight – now I have 13.3 kilos to lose just to get BACK to goal. There are so many things I could blame but the bottom line is blaming anyone but myself is just rubbish – nobody force fed me the junk I chose to eat. Nobody sat there with a gun to my head saying “Eat this or I will kill you (or your child or husband)”. And, to be honest, blaming myself will get me exactly nowhere. What is in the past, is in the past. I can look back and say “Geez I made some crap decisions at times when it came to my food choices” and move on (as always) looking to the future and to what I am able to accomplish.

Once again I have let my weight get the better of me and even worse I have let it stop me from doing things I wanted to do but wouldn’t because I was too embarrassed about how I looked. I won’t say that it won’t happen again because I guess until I get these excess kilos off I will still be embarrassed about how I look, the positive thing is that I am doing something about it rather than bemoaning the fact that I am over-weight and hate how I look. I realise that not being able to fit into my clothes comfortably is my own fault but now I can look forward to being able to see this body shrinking and, in the future, not being able to wear these same horrible clothes because they will be too big for me and not because I am too big for them.

I know that I will get to goal again – maybe not in the time frame I would like (because I am always too impatient and it never comes off quick enough for me) but I will get there because I have made the commitment to go back to WW and that is the only way that I get to goal – sad as that may seem to some, having to face that scale each week is something that is a powerful motivator for me and I try to hold the picture of the scale in my head when I have decisions to make about food – sometimes I am successful and sometimes not quite as successful but I will be heading in the right direction – downwards on the scales.

So, for those of you who have been with me on this journey before, thank you for your support and your friendship and for any new readers who would like to join me on my journey to goal – welcome and I hope you enjoy the ride !

TFTD : When you cease to dream, you cease to live

TIAGF : The wonderful rain we have been getting

TGIF !!!!

2007-10-26T16:45:00.001+10:00

Thank goodness it's Friday !!! I don't know if I could have made it through another day.

It's been two weeks (nearly since we got back) and I feel like I haven't had a chance to just sit down and realise that I am back home again !

Spain was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC !!!! I ate too much and put on all the weight I had lost before I left - but that was OK - I haven't beaten myself up over it. I did try to get to WW last Monday to join up again but circumstances didn't allow so I will either be there this Monday or the following one depending on how things go.

Other than that - life goes on (as it does for everyone) and I am hoping to be back posting more regularly now that our routine is sort of starting to come back into play.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Hi frm Madrid

2007-09-19T16:04:00.001+10:00

Hi Everyone

Just a quick note - the internet connection in the room isn´t working so can´t send the travel diaries I have been typing each day.

This <pc in the hotel lobby is missing keys and bloody difficult to type on.

Suffice to say WE ARE HAVING A BALL !!! can´t upload anything here but are sure to find something later in our travels and you will be able to sit down with a coffee and catch up on all that we have been doing.

It is just great - hotel is situated in really good spot to get to places.

Have a great day everyone and will mail when we get a chance. tomorrow we leave for <barcelona and then onto <malaga on Satruday ñ probably via Toleda on Sturday night.

Lotsa luv to all

Still feeling good !

2007-09-04T17:55:00.001+10:00

I didn’t get a chance to post over the weekend – just too much on the go !!!! Friday I spent most of the day trying to do our tax returns (not 100% successful) but now at least mostly done. Then it was pottering around with A in the garden.

Saturday morning saw us laying the weedmat down in the front yard only to realise that we forgot how we measured it and so landed up being short with the way we had cut some of them. So off to the shops to buy some more as well as a couple of little things for A for Father’s Day. We also stopped off for muffins and then it was home to finish the weedmat. We landed up working from 5-10pm on Saturday night which will be really good when we get paid this week as we had two 5 hr shifts this past week !!!!

Sunday morning saw us walking to the little place around the corner from us for breakfast – I definitely ate too much (toasted bacon sandwich, two hash browns and finished off with an ice-cream on the walk back home !!!) Needless to say I did not eat any lunch and only had ½ piece of chicken thigh and veggies for dinner !!!! After getting home we got stuck into moving the stones from next to the garage where they have been sitting since about February last year, across the driveway and into the front yard. Two and a half hours saw some change in the pile of stones but not as much as I would have liked !!!! We stopped mid-afternoon as we have both been getting really sore feet at work at night so went off in search of new runners – I was lucky enough to find a pair at the AMart All Sports sale but A wasn’t as successful.

My weight is moving in the right direction – just goes to show – cut down on the portion sizes and limit the junk I eat and it does come off !!!! Who would have thunk it ????? The best thing is that I am starting to be able to pull out clothes which I haven’t worn for ages and fit into them !!!! I am not at the point where I stop and look at myself in a window and think “Is that really me ? “ – it is more a case of “Is my butt really still that big ?” – but at least I can glance in the window now rather that putting my head down and denying the fact that my butt and tummy had grown to unacceptable proportions. I am really enjoying the freedom of counting calories although I did come a little unstuck with the Powerade we take to work at night – I read 64cal and thought “That’s not too bad – I can count that in each day” – then last night I actually read the label – 64cal PER SERVE – 2.4 SERVES per bottle !!!! Bugger – not so economical to take to work each night and drink a whole bottle !!!! Maybe I will have to get some diet cordial and take that in instead. Water will just not cut it – at that time of the night I just can’t face water having made so much effort at work during the day to keep the water going down (and out !!) – it’s amazing how much more water I drink when I want to have a Coke Zero !!! I have been only having 1 Coke Zero a day at work (and then one at home in the evenings) which is a huge accomplishment for me. I wonder if they have Coke Zero in Spain – would hate to have to drink Diet Coke or even worse real Coke- the kgs could really pile on if that happens. Mind you – I can’t see that I am going to be too in love with their food – unless, like Taiwan, they have amazing bakeries which would just be my total downfall – EXCEPT for the fact that we have limited funds so maybe we will do the two meals a day thing and try to get in lots of extra walking.

We have just come in from moving stones again - the difference today is that the sun wasn't shining - it is cold, windy and raining but 40 mins of moving stones we did !!!! Al has just finished his shower and I am going to get out the wet clothes and get warm.

Have a great evening and take care !

Exercise log - September 07

2007-09-04T17:52:00.000+10:00

I have copied this from my lovely friends in blogland - maybe it will help to make sure I do some 'on purpose' exercise at least 5 out of 7 days. I will not be counting the 4 hrs packing on the nights I work as that is going to happen anyway.

Sept 1 – nothing
Sept 2 – 2.5 hrs moving stones from next to the garage across the driveway and into the front yard
Sept 3 – 1 hr moving stones
Sept 4 – 40 mins moving stones in the cold and the rain
Sept 5 –
Sept 6 –
Sept 7 –
Sept 8 –
Sept 9 –
Sept 10 –
Sept 11 –
Sept 12 –
Sept 13 –
Sept 14 –
Sept 15 –
Sept 16 – nothing except sitting on a plane and maybe chasing some zzzzz’s !!!
Sept 17 –
Sept 18 –
Sept 19 –
Sept 20 –
Sept 21 –
Sept 22 –
Sept 23 –
Sept 24 –
Sept 25 –
Sept 26 –
Sept 27 –
Sept 28 –
Sept 29 –
Sept 30 –

Another good day !

2007-08-29T18:50:00.000+10:00

We have had a busy couple of days. Sunday was the last day for softball as they were knocked out in the semi-finals – they should have won but they didn’t play well enough on the day. While K had a good game at 3rd base – nobody hit very well and the few hits they got were not all at the same time. Their pitchers threw too many walks and when you have bodies on bases – they do tend to score runs !!! Anyway, thank goodness the long trek twice is week is over for this season.

K has seen the light about not playing summer ball – while I know it would be good for her to keep it up during summer, between school, working, school sport and her new schools requirements / expectations for the students in 2008, she has come to the conclusion that it probably isn’t the best thing to do – YAY !!!!!

The orientation day on Saturday was really good – it certainly answered a lot of questions I had and I am a lot more positive about K making the move next year than I was prior to going there. The facilities are going to be amazing - $40m facility for (at the max) 450 students per year !!!!! At least we will see something for our tax dollars now instead of the few Medicare claims we put in !! Yesterday I spoke to Sharon (the lady who coached K at softball for the schools softball side) – she worked with the principal of K’s new school and she couldn’t speak highly enough of her – it has just given me so much more confidence that we have made the right decision. Sharon was sooooooooo excited that K had been selected for this programme.

Yesterday K had sports training until 5pm so I brought my walking gear and A and I went for a walk around the local area while we were waiting for K to finish. I felt really good that I had done that because I know I wouldn’t have worried to go walking when we got home. Tonight I am going to walk down to the local sports fields and do my 8 sec run 12 sec walk thing again for 20 mins. Hopefully my leg will be OK after the rest that I have given it this past week.

Today is my last day of Lite ‘n Easy – I have been happy with my weight loss on this programme and feel that my head is in the right space to manage my eating. I have bought a calorie counter book and am going to try to do the calorie counting thing – whether it will work or not will be seen over the next couple of weeks. We do have a couple of functions on before we leave which I guess are always a challenge in themselves – but I would be happy if I could limit the amount of damage that I do rather than trying to make my life completely unliveable by not wanting to participate in anything in case food is involved and I can’t handle it. A & K had pizza last night and it really didn’t even worry me that I wasn’t eating any – I know that isn’t always going to be the case but I was surprised and how I didn’t even feel like I wanted a piece or two on top of my dinner.

I was looking at myself in the mirror last night and I am starting to see some changes which is great. Like all of us, a gazillion times over, we want to lose weight and we want it off over night but, as we all know, it doesn’t happen like that and sometimes we become despondent about how far we still have to go. I am trying to take it 5kgs at a time – last week I got to below the weight I wanted to be and so could bring out my jewellery to wear again – I haven’t worn anything apart from a thin chain and my wedding ring since the beginning of the year – it feels so good to have the rest of it on again !!! I know that I am still a long way off my goal but fitting into clothes a little more easily or even being able to wear clothes I haven’t worn for a while is good. That shows me that at least I am moving in the right direction and if the scale doesn’t always show a downward movement – fitting into my clothes really is more important than that number between my feet.

I have just got back from my walk / run tonight - it was great. A and I used to walk down to the local sports field - run 1/2 soccer field walk 1 soccer field (apparently it is exertion 8 secs - slower 12 secs but we found it easier to do it by the length of the kids soccer field) - tonight I ran 2 soccers fields, walked 2 soccer fields for 20 mins and then walked home after that - YAY for me !!

Am off to have dinner, shower and get into work as we are working an earlier shift tonight.

Take care everyone and have a great day tomorrow - for those on the Gold Coast - enjoy the long weekend !!!!

A great day !

2007-08-25T19:36:00.000+10:00

Today was a great day - I didn't get to eat my lunch (we landed up parking the car miles away from where we were and it was pouring at lunch time so I just had a chicken sandwich with everyone else) but I am having a 'good' dinner even though A&K have just gone to get Big Chief burgers !!!!

I am really pleased that we went to the information day today - it certainly cleared things up for me as well as making me feel more positive about the move for K than I was yesterday. I have heard a few negative comments from people and was starting to doubt our decision but, since the info session this morning, I am much more inclined to say we have made the right decision. I guess it is one of those where we will only know in time to come.

I did manage to get a fair bit of walking in - the lecture theatre we were in wasn't really close to where morning tea and lunch were held so we had a couple of hikes up some hills to get there each time. I took a mandarin in my bag for morning tea and was going to get my lunch out the car until it started to pour about 5 mins before lunch time - decided I would rather have the chicken sandwich and stay dry than get soaked and have my correct lunch. When it was time to leave we walked across Smith St to where they are building the new campus for QA - $40m worth of campus for a maximum of 450 students at any one time. It seems like a lot of money to me - part of me is happy that quite possibly we are going to actually see something that our tax $ go towards paying for !!!!!! We will still have the expense of a school uniform as well as either a laptop / slate / tablet - they are busy with the specs and putting those out to tender so I guess we are still in for a far few $ before the year starts. While it will be costly to start - we would have incurred those same expenses - not the laptop - at the school where K is now as they have a different uniform for year 11 and 12 anyway. I would imagine that the mark-up at QA will be a lot less hefty than her current school.

The only downside to the day was this morning when I got out the shower I found that the outlet pipe was blocked and had come up through that waste pipe in the middle of the bathroom - bugger !!!! Luckily I have an EXTREMELY handy man as a husband (whose father was a plumber) so when we got home this afternoon he was out there digging and replacing pipes broken by roots. The good thing about this time - the same thing happened earlier this year in K's bathroom - is that he doesn't have the frame on his leg anymore so can easily climb in and out of holes and dig to his hearts content. The last time he had the frame on his leg and got stuck in the hole that he had dug and couldn't get out and we had to call my folks to come and help get him out the hole !!!!! We laughed about it today but it definitely wasn't a laughing matter when it happened especially as we were battling with infections in his leg and getting all the sand in it didn't help one little bit.

Tomorrow we are off to Redlands Bay (weather permitting) for the semi-finals of the U16 softball season - quite possibly our second to last Sunday morning of having the long trek up and down !!!! I will make sure my breakfast and lunch are all organised before I go to bed tonight - really need to keep on track these last couple of weeks before we leave.

Well I hear the garage door going up so I had better be on my way - have a great Sunday everyone and take care !

TGIF !

2007-08-24T19:14:00.000+10:00

All I can say is thank goodness it is Friday - I don't think I would have coped with another day in the working week !!! It has been a hectic two weeks while I have had one staff member off for two weeks after she had a mis-carriage. Not an easy situation for anyone and my heart certainly goes out to her - but it has made it that much more difficult for me to get my job completed before we leave. I have been working long hours and I don't expect that will change in the next couple of weeks.

WARNING : Long winded post getting things off my chest !!!!!

This is probably going to be a little disjointed - but here goes. Over the past couple of weeks I have realised just how much I have missed blogging. The friends I made when I first started blogging are great people - some I have been in contact with more often than others - I guess a bit like my own 'real world' friends. But, I have also realised that I don't have as much time to spend on the computer as I used to. The thing I have missed most about blogging is getting down on paper how I feel, what is going on, how I am progressing, working out what is wrong or irritating me - I guess it is a lot of airy fairy stuff. I don't really know how to explain it but it is almost therapeutic when I sit down and type. Sometimes I just need to put something on paper in order for me to make a decision or see the solution.

I have been really battling my weight since the middle of last year. A's operation was the catalyst for me to say "Hey, you are having such a rough time - have another coke and chocolate - that will make you feel better" and it did - while I was eating it. But then I felt even worse as the kilos started to pile on. I have a million and one excuses for why I ate the way I did - couldn't leave him to get dinner because he had spent nearly all day by himself already so would pop down to the snack machine - had to get a sugar fix to keep my awake on the hour drive home at 1am each night - couldn't get through the morning because I was so tired without another sugar fix - and a million more I won't bore you with. The bottom line was they were all excuses for me not having to take responsibility for what I put into my mouth - it wasn't my fault I had to deal with all of this - was it ??????? No, it wasn't my fault that A broke his leg 20 years ago and had to have it re-broken and a frame put on his leg, it wasn't my fault he had to be in hospital in Brisbane when we lived on the Gold Coast, it wasn't my fault that there were no healthy food shops close to the hospital for me to buy dinner from but it was my fault that I continued to behave in a way which was detrimental to my health. It was my fault that I chose, night after night, to have a bottle of coke and a big crunchie chocolate for dinner and 1am snack and not take a healthy food option with me. It was my fault that I chose to keep packets of sweets and biscuits in my drawer to get me through the day rather than taking healthy food to work to eat during the day.

As most of you will probably remember the situation with A didn't finish when he came out of hospital - he landed up back in hospital for 10 days with infections at pin sites which would clear up so more travelling and more crappy eating. Then he got home and we had the whole thing of trying to get him sorted eat day before going to work. Then it was the over adjustment which had to be corrected and him wanting to take the frame off himself because it was so sore. And then of course Christmas arrived and who worries about trying to lose weight when it is Christmas ? Well I have in the past but certainly not last year !!!!

2007 saw me take up the Weight Loss Challenge and lose 8kgs in 10 weeks - I was aiming for 5 so was extremely happy with 8kgs. Unfortunately, the 8kg loss was short lived and it didn't take too long to put on 6.8 of those kilos. And that was where I hovered - week in and week out, knowing that our holiday was getting closer and knowing that I wasn't doing a single thing to lose any weight. All the while feeling so disappointed with myself for (a) putting on so much weight after having maintained for just under a year and (b) not having the motivation to do anything about it. I kept on telling myself - tomorrow, next week, after this event or that event instead of saying "From now" and getting on with it. It is too late now to look back and cry because I left it too late. All I can do is look back and say "Thank goodness I did something about it 4 weeks ago. Now I am 4.4kgs lighter than I was and I have the opportunity to lose a few more kilos before we go". When we get back - I have the opportunity to continue to lose these excess kilos for some special functions coming up and I can walk tall knowing that I am doing the best that I can for my body and for my life.

I want to start blogging more regularly because I know that this is a tool which really works for me - it helps to keep me honest because that is something that I have always been through this medium - honest about what I have eaten and what I have (or haven't) done. I have been walking quite a lot lately - the other night I have a really hard walk and paid a very dear price for two days afterwards - I could hardly walk with lots of pain in my knees for two days after my walk. Note to self - if you are going to walk that hard - walk on the grass !!!! I did not walk tonight - once again the weather is miserable. But more than that - I am tired. Totally and utterly tired, and exhausted, and weary - so much so I was falling asleep at 6.15 on the beanbag. That was when I thought - hey, I could be blogging so got up and came through to the computer. I guess, like anything else, you just need to get back into the habit of doing something - this time I am not going to let it take over my life !!!! I have to get the balance right. It seems to me that I haven't managed to get this balance correct (or maybe I should say I haven't quite got it right in my life) lately - work, food, exercise, socialising, chores - so that one is not achieved at the expense of another. That will be my plan for the next couple of days - work out what I need to change to see the changes I want to occur in my life.

On that note I am going to take myself off to the lounge and spend an hour watching the second half of Friday night footy with my bestest husband before heading off to my nicely warmed bed. Tomorrow we will be spending the day at Griffith University finding out what is going to be happening with the academy that K will be attending next year (and hopefully finding out answers to the questions we have w.r.t. whether we are making the right decision in letting her go there). Tomorrow night will be a quiet night in for us and then Sunday it is off to softball again. With a bit of luck the game will be cancelled due to the lousy weather we have had and them not wanting to have the grounds messed up. If that happens then we can stay at home and I can maybe give the garage door another coat of paint (I think it needs another one A doesn't agree), finish painting the outside walls and then get the rest of the outdoor furniture sanded down, ready to be oiled. There will be no usual Saturday morning muffin until next week when I have stopped Lite 'n Easy but that isn't the end of the world - a small price to pay if it means that I can drop a little more weight before we go.

I hope you have a fantastic weekend - take care and look after yourselves !

Not the best day I've had

2007-08-22T20:06:00.000+10:00

Well - today wasn't the best day I've had - two people not in at work and me running my big butt off trying to make sure that everything that has to be done, is done. I did manage to eat my allocated food for the day but I also snuck in a Picnic bar when I was feeling absolutely down and out at 3pm.

The good thing is that even with the crappy weather, I went for a 50 min really hard walk when I got home from work and then did some weight work on my arms so I feel that all is not lost for the day. I am just about ready to go to work and if I really push myself for the whole shift, can notch up a few more calorie burning hours for the day.

So good to hear from you Bri - am looking forward to catching up on all that has been happening in your life - lotsa hugs to you !!

Take care everyone and have a great day !

Quick catch up

2007-08-21T18:21:00.000+10:00

Well tomorrow sees the end of my 4th week on Lite 'n Easy - I have lost 3.8kgs so far and am very happy. Unfortuantely I will not be at goal before we go on holiday - totally my own fault for leaving it to the last 6 weeks before we leave to do anything about my weight. But, no good crying over what could have been - should have been - would have nice to have had - need to just focus on staying on track until we leave and hopefully being able to fit into some clothes that I have and not have to buy anymore to take on holiday.

I have to say that if I lived alone Lite 'n Easy would be how I would do my grocery shopping - for me it has been great to do. I have also got into the habit of exercising at least 5 days a week - yesterday and today there has been no exercise due to the weather. Yes, I could have done something at home but I didn't feel like it so have taken those as my rest days. While I am grateful for the rain, it does mess with my exercise plans and I am so enjoying my walking and then the 20 mins that I do of run 8 secs walk 12 secs - it really does get my heart rate up.

Not much news other than the above - still have things to do for Spain but now Al is waiting to hear back from some Spaniards with whom he used to work in Taiwan so we have held off making any bookings. We are all off to the orientation and information day at Griffith Uni on Saturday so that is very exciting. I have heard some negative comments around school re K moving to Queensland Academies but I am just ignoring them and taking them with a pinch of salt. The good thing is that we can always change our minds if we need to.

Al has just finished cooking so am off to eat with the rest of the family. Take care and be good to yourselves.

Bras for Cancer appeal

2007-08-15T20:01:00.000+10:00

This is an annual fund raising drive held by 92.5 Gold FM (a local radio station) to raise money for breast cancer researxh. Conrad Jupiters donate $1 for every bra collected.

This year the school where I work is going to have a collection bin so if any of you have any old bras which no longer fit or you are thinking of replacing your current underwear because they are now too big, please consider mailing your old bras to me for this worthy cause.

If you mail me on kal20m at gmail dot com I will send my postal address to you.

Many thanks and happy undie shopping for anyone who supports this great cause !

I'm back ...

2007-07-25T20:35:00.000+10:00

Well sort of - due to the closure of healthnuts, I have copied the posts from my blog there onto blogger. I doubt that I will be posting as often as I used to but will definitely be around occasionally.

Take care and have a great day !

GO THE MAROONS !!!

2007-07-25T20:30:00.002+10:00

It definitely wasn't the best Origin game I have seen - not played with the same intensity that Origin is normally played at but WE WON ! When we got to work last night it was just on half time and we had just gone down 18-6 going into the break - I made sure I didn't ask anyone if they knew the score during the night as we were going home to watch the second half.
We left work at about 1.30 due to some issues which had arisen during the night. A asked me if I was going to watch and I was in two minds about how tired I was so I pulled the doona into the lounge room, flopped on the bean bag and said "If I see it I see it and if I fall asleep wake me up when you go to bed". I think I may have dozed once or twice but I did see most of the second half. I was really pleased that they won - wouldn't it be great if they could finally pull off a win at Telstra Stadium and make Game 3 a dead rubber - keep your fingers crossed !!!!
Last night I watched The Secret instead of exercising. When I was at yoga on Monday night, we were talking about it. I wanted to buy the DVD but apparently you can only buy it over the net - it's not available in any stores and my yoga instructor had a copy which she very kindly lent me. I haven't finished reading the book yet but the DVD is almost just like they are reading the book to you (except I think there is much more detail in the book). I don't think I am in quite such a rush to get the DVD now having seen it once, I think I would prefer to work my way through the book. I have bought a little journal which I am going to use once I have finished reading the book and then go back and work my way through the book using the journal to do the exercises they suggest for the areas which I want to work on.
Have a great week and take care !
TFTD : All that we are is the result of what we have thought
TIAGF : The good health which my family and I have

Ready for change

2007-07-25T20:30:00.001+10:00

Since starting to read The Secret, I have realised how it has been ME who has been limiting my ability to move forward - in all areas of my life. While I don't want to become a "The Secret" pusher, I am embracing it throughout my life and it is becoming a part of who I am and what I can achieve. I will try not to bore you with the details each time something happens but I do believe this is what I needed to get myself motivated and on the path to becoming the person I truly am.
We have a situation at our night job - we got to work last week sometime to be told (unofficially by someone who had happened to see the leave forms in the bin) that our leave forms for Spain had landed up in the bin with a big NO written across them. Immediately my back was up and A was so angry he was ready to walk out. Managed to convince him we would be able to sort it out (haven't been able to as yet but I now know that it will all be sorted out in the end). Does anyone know - if you are part-time permanent (night-fillers) and you request leave at a non-busy time i.e. not Christmas, and you have the leave due to you - can they tell you that you can't take your leave ? I mean it isn't as though the company will collapse if we don't pack shelves for a month as they will just get casuals in to fill instead of us. And, even if we didn't have leave (after A using all his leave with his operation I don't know if he will have enough paid leave by September) - wouldn't it be cheaper for them to let us have the leave as unpaid leave ? And, if they are going to say we can't have the leave - surely a phone call would be the least they could do and not just throw the leave requests into the bin ? Maybe it is just the way national companies work - I don't know.
This evening when we get home I am going to be doing some weight exercises - not sure what I am going to do but with some help from A I will get something done. I will be using the fit ball as well. I may do double what the little pamphlet that came with the ball says as I didn't feel like I had done very much after doing one set of everything.
It has been a long time since I had a TFTD or TIAGF and I have decided to get those started again so here goes :
TFTD : Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.
TIAGF : The opportunity to read The Secret and change my life as a result of what I have read.

The Secret and the monkey

2007-07-25T20:28:00.000+10:00

The Secret book is fantastic - I bought it after work yesterday and nearly missed pilates and work because I didn't want to put it down. I thought about all the things I could accomplish and be and become by using the laws of attraction and I was amazed at how powerful a tool it is. We have some financial issues happening at the moment which are really giving me grey hairs and making this situation just too hard - this morning I woke up and said to myself "Today I will finish the FBT return (that was sort of a given as it is due on Monday but considering how much stuffing around I have done over the past 10 days - anything was possible), I will attract only positive things into my life, I love the person that I am and I love the body that I have - it may not be where I would like it to be, but, for today, I love it. The financial situation we are in will be resolved and it will not cost us more money than we originally calculated." For the first time in a long time, I came into work positive that I was going to have a good day. That I wasn't going to be dragged down by negative thoughts over what I couldn't do but would rather concentrate on what I can do and ask for help on what I didn't know (even though it is my ex-boss who is more help than my current boss - but she (my ex-boss) knows that and is always more than happy to help with any questions that I may have.)
When I got to work I saw an e-mail which required a reply by 5pm yesterday - as it was only sent at 4.48 and I had left a little early due to having to get to the shops to buy The Secret before going to pilates, I didn't get the e-mail until this morning. This resulted in them retracting their offer - I did not get upset - I remembered what I had said when I got up this morning. I spoke to A about it and we made the decision that if after a few more phone calls things were sorted out - that was great, otherwise we would have to consider alternative options. The bottom line is that we were expecting to incur costs in the region of $1000 - instead we have received an additional $200 in our pocket !!! I truly believe that The Secret works - what else would explain this change in situation for us.
The FBT monkey is finally off my back (well as close to being off as it can be without actually being off) - I have to wait for some figures which I can only get first thing on Monday morning but the rest of it is all balanced up and ready to go - as soon as I have those figures I can put them in, complete the return and send it off - YAY !!!!!!!!! This, together with the government financial return were two BIG monkeys that gave me sleepless nights, lots of anxious moments and, in the end, the realisation that I am capable of lots more than I have given myself credit for. My previous boss said to me after I had left that I had to have more confidence in my abilities, something I have always battled with, and these two 'projects' have made me realise that, while I may not know what I am doing, I can ask questions and get help and accomplish far more than I thought I was able to.
Tomorrow we will be organising a 15 year old birthday sleep over - am sure they will have lots of fun and hopefully they won't be up all night as they all have to be at softball at 9am on Sunday morning (and we have to drive about 1 hr 15mins to get there) - with a bit of luck they won't be too tired to play as it is one of their hardest opponents and their parents can deal with cranky teenagers in the afternoon when the lack of sleep kicks in.
Have a fantastic weekend everyone - take care and go safely !

Now breathing

2007-07-25T20:27:00.000+10:00

Thanks NJ - you were right - I did need to take a moment to breathe !!!! Thanks also to M and Mary for their positive comments and nudges in the right direction. The spack attack from yesterday is mostly over - I realise that while I am not totally useless or a total failure, I am not in the place that I would like to be in right now and guess what - it is my own fault. Now, not to beat myself up over that, I am going to start making some positive changes.
Last night I got home in time to see about 20 minutes of Oprah's The Secret and I phoned this morning to place an order for the book which I will be collecting on my way home. While I don't think this will suddenly make all my problems go away, I do believe it will help me deal with them in a positive manner and I can get things moving in the right direction, something which has been sadly lacking in most areas of my life for a while now. I loved what the lady said last night about placing an order for your life - when you go into a restaurant and place an order, you expect to receive what you ordered - how come we look at life differently ? When we invite all the negativity into our lives, we really shouldn't complain when it turns up because that is what we asked for. I know that this isn't a new concept - it isn't even a new concept for me - it is something I have known for a long long time - the difference now is that I am choosing to do something positive about it - I am going to make those positive changes. I am going to do what I have to to remember to keep the positive affirmations happening - what normally happens with me is I say them once or twice and then forget about them. I will keep writing things down until I don't need to see them to remember them and that way I will start to live a more positive life and bring into my life the wonderful things I deserve like a loving family, security, happiness and stability.
I have been dicking around at work today - really not wanting to go and see the CM about the FBT as this morning she mailed me an old FBT manual and then came in and told me that the rates were wrong but if I read it I would get the gist of what had to be done. News flash - I have the current FBT manual which I have been using but when you look at last years figures and cannot trace them back to anything, how do I know where to find those same figures this year ?????? I will deal with this this afternoon and I will not let myself go home to stew over these same issues for another night.
As I said, I am off to get The Secret this afternoon after work (not sure when I will find the $35 from but seeing as I am placing my order for the book out there, I have faith that the money will come from somewhere in time to pay the credit card bill when it arrives), then I am off to pilates and then home to chores before going to work. Maybe I can try to fit in a soak in the bath with my new book between all of the above.
Now, I had better be off and tackle this FBT - being an ostrich about it is not going to help when I have to send the return off on Monday !! Thanks again for your support - it truly means so much to me because this is one place where I can be honest about how I am feeling and what is happening and know that people will understand where I am coming from.

I'm totally useless

2007-07-25T20:24:00.001+10:00

I have come to the conclusion that I am just totally useless and a total failure right now. Harsh words you may think, but I am on the road to self destruction with no inclination to pull the plug to stop.
I knew this week was going to be hectic with meetings 3 nights out of 5 - a 15 year old sleep over on Saturday night and a seemingly never ending list of things that HAVE to be done due to professional people waiting on things from us. But, knowing that a week is going to be hectic and actually getting through said week is proving to be a little outside my scope of capabilities right now. Needless to say my eating has been worse than bad (if there is such a thing) - take-aways are common practice and snacking on unsuitable food is the norm - not that there is junk food in the house but Coles is just across the road and the canteen has a range of biscuits / do-nuts / chips / chocolates to keep a small army going (well a 1200 student college at least !!!). As for exercise - apart from yoga and pilates - that has been non-existent as well despite my good intentions of doing something every day !!!!!
Work is a challenge I am having difficulty dealing with - having got the government financial return done and submitted prior to the deadline, I managed to get the April accounts done in record time (all correct except for one change which had to made due to the budget showing 1 day less of teaching days compared to my calculation of actual teaching days) before starting on the FBT return. This is something I have never done and was told - no problem - it isn't difficult at all. Well it may not be difficult if you know what you are doing but if you don't it is bloody stressful !!!!! It has to be submitted on Monday 21st May (I originally thought it was only 31st May) which means I really only have tomorrow and Friday to complete it all. I have made an appointment with the Commercial Manager to speak to her about it tomorrow morning as I just can't handle anything more with it today.
The other news making me feel really crap is that I heard this morning a close friend of ours has pancreatic cancer (inoperable) and has been given 12 months. Shit - that isn't what I expected to hear. There were a group of three of us who used to work together - one lady's husband died nearly 2 years ago from luekeamia and now this has happened to the other lady - it is just dreadful. Now I know that the drs don't know time lines and shouldn't tell people you have so long to live BECAUSE THEY REALLY DON'T KNOW but it is still a shock to know that it is probably going to be sooner rather than later. Why do crappy things happen to good people - there are enough bad people out there who can have this sort of stuff happen to them.
This isn't getting the payments for this week signed - so had better get going - just felt I needed to get on here and get this off my chest.

A yoga convert in the making

2007-07-25T20:23:00.000+10:00

Last night I went to the yoga class which I should have gone to last week but didn't make it because of birthdays, running around after work and night shift being moved forward an hour. But, I finally made it last night - and boy am I glad that I went. I don't think I managed all that well with what I did - having said that there were quite a few positions which were very similar to pilates so I didn't feel out of my depth the whole time.
I was very nervous about going - I am not good at new situations where I don't know people and don't know what to expect. I didn't know what type of yoga she taught (and I still don't because I didn't have the courage to ask) but I had such a great time there. I didn't relax as much as I had hoped I would - I felt myself keep tensing up until I realised it and then made an effort to relax again but it is a learning curve and I know that I will get better at it the more I practise. She was such a lovely lady - so calm and relaxed (I know, if you teach yoga you would expect her to be calm and relaxed) and she was just lovely. She chatted to me for a while after the class and in talking I mentioned my in-ability to sleep and she said "Isn't this amazing - it was only today that I photocopied an article for some ladies in one of my other classes who said that they couldn't sleep" and off she went and brought me back one of the copies she had made. There is an article from a yoga magazine as well as some poses to do before going to bed each night. I didn't try them at 1.30 when I got home this morning but will definitely try them out tonight before going to bed. I said to A this morning " I don't know if it is psyhcological but I felt l ike I definitely had a better sleep last night" - I felt that I didn't wake up nearly as many time in the 5 1/2 hrs that I was asleep compared to the number of times I normally wake up during that time. This is all good news for me - if yoga is the way for me to go to have a decent nights sleep then that is what I am going to do. I know that any reasonable level of exercise helps me to sleep and I need to work on making sure that I fit some sort of exercise into my day each day.
My water in-take is still good - I have had at least 6 glasses of water yesterday and today. I have also been eating grapes as my fresh fruit which is another plus for me as fruit and I don't really get along very well.
On that note, my lunch 1/2 hr is nearly over and I had better get back to work. Take care and have a great day everyone !

A great day !

2007-07-25T20:22:00.000+10:00

Today has been great - I even had a litre of water before having a Coke Zero this morning - something I haven't done for many many months. I hate water - there are even times when I would rather go thirsty than drink water and I will not touch tap water - it has to be filtered water. So much so that we bought the Brita water bottles for when we go cycling so that it didn't matter where we filled our water bottles up. Anyway, I have managed to get another glass down since then and have one more glass to go before the end of the day - I should make it. Then it is up to me to try to keep it up over the following days / weeks / months.
I have done very well with my food choices since I last posted. Our holiday is proving to be a huge incentive to get this weight off. Plus this morning I did the jewellery incentive as well - no jewellery (except my wedding ring, my Gran's wedding ring and a thin necklace) until I get down to 70kgs. This worked to get me down to 75kgs - lets see if I have the same success to get another 5 kgs off.
I hope everyone is having a great day !

A good day

2007-07-25T20:21:00.000+10:00

I am sitting at softball writing this - not because K is playing and I am not watching the game - but because she isn’t playing and we are here !!! A thought it would be a great opportunity to teach her some more about the game seeing as she isn’t playing. She hurt her foot playing soccer on Friday afternoon when she went to kick the ball at the same time as someone from the opposition went to kick it and after x-rays on Friday night we found out that while it isn’t broken or fractured, she has bruised the cartilage in her big toe. So she is on crutches for a while until it heals enough for her to walk on it. But, she wanted to support her team and so we decided to bring her up.
Yesterday was a great day for me - I went shopping and I took Mary and M with me. Generally A and I do the shopping together but as he was working in the garden I said I would go by myself. Well - the chocolates and the biscuits were calling me - VERY LOUDLY - but thankfully Mary and M were even louder - NO JUNK FOOD IN THE HOUSE and that made it a bit easier for me to walk past without putting them in the trolley. I have been very slack lately and have had the mentality that “I’ll start tomorrow” but as we all know - tomorrow never comes because it is always today. I felt so good when I got home with only the items on my shopping list and not having bought and eaten anything before I even got home. Thank you my dear friends for helping me out and for being louder than the food that was calling me.
With our holiday to Spain mostly finalised, I have realised that if I want to lose 10kgs before I go, I am the one who has to do it - there is nobody else who can do it and if I don’t do it, it will be nobody’s fault but my own. But, if I can just keep the thought of Spain in my head whenever I go to put something in my mouth - I might just be able to do this. And, if I don’t do it - I would like ot be able to look back and say - I gave it my best shot rather than if only I had tried a little harder. The delayed gratification will be far better than the instant gratification I will be getting from eating things that aren’t helping me to achieve my goal.
Today will be a good day - I had some oats before I left home so I know that I won’t be hungry for quite a while - meant to bring a WW bar with me but ran out the house in a hurry and forgot - never mind a drink of water (or more likely Coke Zero) will keep any hunger pangs at bay until we get home and I can have a lunch which fits in with my eating for the day.
At least my week at work won’t be quite as hectic as it has been - the huge government return has been finished and submitted - now I just have to get the April accounts finished so that I can get the FBT return done and sent in - then it will be back to the usual accounts and looking at how to improve the processes which are currently in place.
I hope that you are all having a great weekend - take care and will catch up with you sometime during the week.
Have just finished 2 1/2 hrs in the garden weeding and clearing beds etc - at least now it looks a lot tidier. Still not where I want it to be - but better than it was. Does anyone else dislike working in the garden but do it because it has to be done ? I feel like it is one of those necessary chores like washing clothes and grocery shopping - wish I could win the Lotto and get someone in the do the garden each week !!!!

then again, maybe not ...

2007-07-25T20:20:00.000+10:00

On Tuesday I thought I was very determined about keeping focussed on delayed rather than instant gratification - well I was wrong. Yesterday, while it wasn't a bad day, it wasn't the best day either. Last night I realised that on a few occasions I had eaten things without actually thinking about them and then too late realising that they weren't conducive to me reaching my long term goal - BUT IT WAS TOO LATE - they had already been eaten !!!
After a breakfast of pancakes and ice-cream, A and I went for a lovely cycle (although we both could feel the effects of Sunday's ride on our butts still !!!) and then came home and did some washing. He got stuck into the garden and I landed up pulling weeds down the side and the back of the house. In the afternoon I started preparing dinner as my folks were coming around.
All up - it could have been a lot worse - I could have eaten more 'bad' things and not gone cycling but it made me realise just how often I eat without thinking. I need to stop and focus on what I am putting in my mouth BEFORE it actually gets eaten - it's too late to worry about it once it has made it's way into the dark hole of my tummy.
Tonight I am off to pilates before going home for left overs and then off to work. It's great that we had the holiday yesterday - what a pity we couldn't have more 4 day weeks for 5 day pay !
Have a great evening everyone !

I'm determined !

2007-07-25T20:19:00.002+10:00

As any of you who know me will know, I am either an all or nothing girl - when I am good I am very, very good but when I am bad, I'm dreadful !
As I said in my blog earlier, I have to weigh up the instant gratification of eating too much of a good thing against the long term gratification of losing weight and getting back to goal. Sometimes it is a sentence like the last which is enough to make my steely reserve come to the fore and show me what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it.
The other day we went shopping (I think it may have been the weekend) and I put peanut M&M's into the trolly. A put in liquorice allsorts and some liquorice. I ate some M&M's - was going to eat the whole packet but managed to stop myself - mainly because I felt sick on the handful that I had already eaten. But the thoughts from my previous post came back to haunt me - do I want that instant gratification or can I delay it ? Since then I have managed to hold onto that thought and have said no to things which I haven't said no to in a long time. While I realise that it is only two days - for me that is better than only one day and if I can take this one day at a time, I will get there. While I am not counting points again (yet), I have a very good idea of how many I'm eating and I have been varying the food I eat for all meals which I think will make a difference as I seem to have got stuck in a rut w.r.t. my breakfast and lunch menu.
Long may this resolve last !!!!

Our holiday

2007-07-25T20:19:00.001+10:00

About a month ago we booked our tickets for our holiday this year but I never mentioned it because it has been a little up in the air about where we were going. K and I knew where we wanted to go but A was a little undecided. We have managed to talk him around to our country of choice (Spain) and so have now started booking accommodation and looking at car hire etc. What we have found out is that we are going to have to do a lot more research before finalising things like car hire, day trips etc. The places we are staying are really dictated by where we can get timeshare accommodation - at A$249 for a weeks accommodation for 3 of us we really can't find any better value for money. The sad thing is that we only have one week to use at this price and the other two weeks will be a little more expensive but they will still work out cheaper than hotel accommodation.
We will be going to Madrid, Malaga, Alicante, Castellion and Barcelona and I am sure we will all have a great time. K is studying Spanish at school and so we will be relying on her to get us around !!!! Her Spanish teacher has said that she will ensure K has enough grasp of the language so that we don't go hungry !!!! I am sure that if all else fails there will be a McDonald's or Starbucks if the worst comes to the worst (well it was be for the worse because I don't drink tea of coffee so Starbucks is actually of no use to me unless they sell cakes / biscuits !!!)
That is our exciting news for now - there are so many sites to look at that it is getting all quite confusing. I keep jotting down websites but now have to get smarter about that because sometimes I go back and I can't remember what it was that I was looking at on that website !
I haven't done any thinking about anything other than our holiday today - probably should have as that is one of the motivators for me to get these pesky kilos off. Tonight we are going to pack the car for our early start up to Redlands tomorrow. A is going to put the bikes on the back so when we get there we can go for a ride while K is busy warming up and we will get back in time to watch her game before coming home. Other than that, not much else in the way of news - hope you all have a great Saturday night !

I'm proud and I'm ranting !

2007-07-25T20:18:00.000+10:00

What is it with family sometimes ? They can make you feel 10 feet tall or they can drive you to drink !!!!!
Last night I had both ends of the spectrum. K made me feel like I was 10 feet tall and A made me want to rush off to the bottle shop and buy the biggest bottle of Amarula I could find !!!! Not that I have forgotten about how I was ready to give her away a couple of weeks ago but, like with little ones, they can be absolute sods and then they come up to you and put their arms around you and tell you that they love you lots and lots and you just melt.
On the weight front there is nothing, zip, zilch, nada happening. I have maintained for most of this week which in itself isn't an achievement but I am happy about it anyway as it could have been a lot worse.
This stupid government return is not going the way it should - in fact it is barely moving at all but right now I am just over the whole thing. (This is said tongue in cheek for anyone who may be offended by my comment !) Why can't the government just give us the money and let us spend it how we like - why do we have to account for all of it to them ?????? (Yes, I know the reason but it is driving me nuts and giving me gray hairs)
Last night at work I was thinking about all the things that I have to be grateful for - there are many things and I certainly am grateful for them. Some of them are as a result of lots of hard work, some as result of being in the right place at the right time and some, I believe, are because what goes around comes around and it is some good karma coming back to me /us. While A is still getting over his leg, the three of us are all healthy and capable of achieving whatever we set out to achieve - the only person keeping me from losing weight is myself. There is nobody holding a gun to my head and force feeding me. There is nobody going out of their way to make it difficult for me to get my act together - it is all up to me. I remember a saying (from I don't know where) - if it is meant to be, it is up to me - and that is so true. I need to settle down and decide exactly what it is that I want - do I want the instant gratification of eating that biscuit/chocolate/extra couple of slices of cheese for the hit I get now or do I want the delayed gratification of losing the weight and all the benefits that are associated with that weight loss. Do I want to be travelling around Spain, fat, over weight and battling to walk anywhere or do I want to be there with a spring in my step encouraging A & K to keep up with me ? It is all up to me and what I need to do is spend some time this weekend making a list of what my priorities are - what I want to accomplish - and how I am going to make it happen. First I have to get rid of (or do I mean finish eating ???) the ANZAC biscuits we bought to celebrate ANZAC day next week and the packet of liquorice allsorts I bought from Coles yesterday. My house is junk food free now (apart from some Easter eggs which K still has but as they are hers there is no chance that I would eat them anyway as I go totally off the deepend if she eats something that is mine without first asking) so that is a good start. I will take it one step at a time - take back the power for myself instead of letting everyone and everything around me have the power over what I do and how I feel and more importantly, what I eat.
This is going to be a good weekend - I am going to work on what I have to do to get myself into the best space I can be in - I am now at the point where I realise that this isn't something that I WANT to do - it is something I HAVE to do.
Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

What a day !

2007-07-25T20:17:00.001+10:00

I woke up this morning with a headache and I still have it - bugger !!!!! Mind you, after the day that I have had, I can't expect a headache to go away.
I am busy with the stupid government return which has to be done by the end of the month otherwise we won't be getting any funding until it is. And, while I enjoy challenges, I don't enjoy unrealistic challenges and that is how I see this. There are about 240 pgs of instructions before you even start !! Anyway, I am slowly working my way through what I think needs to be done and will then have to have a chat to someone (not sure who at this stage) to see if I am on the right track and get them to point me in the right direction so that I don't go completely off course.
We had a run around time today as K is applying for a scholarship to Queensland Academies for Health Sciences and as I was about to post the application off (due tomorrow), I realised that we didn't have the photo that was required. Luckily someone at school could take a photo and A took me to the photographic shop in the area to get it printed and then off to the PO to get an Express Post envelope - all sent now so just a case of wait and see. She sits the scholarship test at school on Monday - hopefully something will come from one of these.
We are off to Redlands shortly for softball training. I thought that I would have enjoy stir fry from last night to have for left overs tonight - no such luck so it is going to be Subway on the way home before dashing off to work.
A's leg is improving - it is still bleeding on and off at some of the pin sites but on the whole is much better. We are still bandaging it up each day as it is quite yucky to look at.
Take care and have a great evening !

What a day !

2007-07-25T20:17:00.000+10:00

I found someone

2007-07-25T20:16:00.002+10:00

Actually I didn't find her, my friend did - the bottom line is that I have found someone, a couple of suburbs away from where I live, who gives yoga classes on a day and time which is suitable for me, at a price which is right and who does it for all the right reasons !!! I have been looking on and off for a yoga class in my area but I haven't (until now) found anything suitable. Yesterday I received a call from a friend of mine telling me about this freaky phone call she had just had with the yoga lady. I was going to go last night but when I phoned to confirm that the class was on, she told me she had just got back from a weeks working holiday (she had been to one of the islands off Qld for a week to teach yoga to a family - how cool would that be ???) So I am all set for next Monday night - a little disappointed that it didn't happen last night but never mind - something to look forward to next week. (Bugger - have just realised that there are two public holidays on Monday's and she probably won't have a class !!!!)
I did get home last night and, after having cooked dinner, and not been able to go to the yoga class, pull out my fitball and work out on that for 30 mins which was great although I obviously didn't work hard enough as I couldn't really feel anything this morning. Will have to maybe do more reps on each one tonight.
Have a great day everyone and take care !
TFTD : Close friends become family and family is the true centre of the universe
TIAGF : Working out on my fitball last night

All is well in the world of A

2007-07-25T20:16:00.001+10:00

The operation was a success (not that we expected anything less). It was a very tiring day at the hospital but it was soooooooo good to see A without the frame when I went through and he was having something to eat - poor bugger was starving when he finally recovered and they let him have some horrible hospital sandwiches. I, on the other hand, had moseyed down to the hospital cafe after they had taken him off to theatre, and had a toasted chicken sandwich (not the best) with a bottle of Coke Zero and the bestest caramel slice I have ever tasted ! It was so good I had to buy one to give to A when he was up to eating something that rich. I know I said I wasn't going to eat anything unnecessarily but I just couldn't resist.
There has been a lot of bleeding from the pin sites - they did not stitch them up but rather put Betadine plugs in. We managed to control the bleeding with pressure bandages which is all that the hospital told us to do if the sites continued to bleed after we had left there. I looked at his leg for the first time last night and it doesn't look too bad all things considered. K has been cleaning and dressing the 6 sites and then I have been wrapping a bandage around his leg so that it can't be seen - it really is quite revolting to look at plus the bandage will keep any dust and bugs out until the holes are all closed.
We had a lovely dinner on Friday night with all the family - lots of laughing and joking and 'remember whening' !!! It was great. I had two starters as my main meal and then A and I shared a Brownie Blast - that was delicious although I am glad he shared it with me as I think I would have been sick if I had tried to eat a whole one on my own. They served it in a big brandy goblet !
The rest of the weekend was spent driving up and down to Redlands Bay which is where K is going to be playing softball in future - on the whole the standard of play there is a lot stronger than where she was playing previously but it is a lot further away. Thank goodness we only have 1 child to ferry around !!!!!
Had better get going as my lift is on his way over - I am on my way home and am going to dig out my fitball and the exercise sheet I received with the fitball and work my way through those exercises - that way I don't have to interrupt anyone who is watching something on TV to put a pilates or Walk away the Pounds video on.
Have a great week everyone and take care !

Only one more sleep to go

2007-07-25T20:14:00.003+10:00

As the title says - only one more sleep until A's frame is off - forever !!!!! YAY !!!!!!!!! Having said that, after being through the whole plaster of paris thing for 18 months the last time, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this option to anyone who has the choice between a spatial frame or plaster of paris.
I have decided that, while I am not quite back to being 'back on track', I am not going to sabotage myself by being Miss Piggy until I do get back on track. So, I am not counting points etc but I am limiting my intake of food which is not conducive to losing weight - whether that is solid little easter eggs, extra cheese on my sandwich or an extra shake of the muesli container into my breakfast bowl. If I can do that until next week I will be a happy little veggiemite.
We did manage to get batteries for the scale last night (although had to go to three shops to find the blasted things) and I hopped on this morning and received a very pleasant surprise of 74.8kgs. I was certainly not expecting to see a number as low as that but I have steeled myself to the very real possibility that this number will go up before it starts to come down again. Never mind - I have no regrets and I will continue to do the best that I can in the circumstances over the next few days. Tomorrow morning will be easy - I won't eat anything until A is taken through to theatre - after that, I will make sure I have Coke Zero's to keep my mouth occupied while I wait for him to come out.
Have a great day and take care !

Only one more sleep to go

2007-07-25T20:14:00.002+10:00

Where did the 4 days go to ?

2007-07-25T20:14:00.001+10:00

Well, I just knew that before I had blinked twice the 4 days would be gone and that is exactly what it felt like but it was good to have the time off. Not that I did what I planned to do - a few chores around the house, some grocery shopping and some entertaining. I did no exercise. I did manage to eat my 2 x Easter Bunnies (good chocolate) and 1 x Easter egg (also good chocolate) as well as some little solid eggs before I went to bed yesterday so that they weren't calling me from the fridge this morning. I also ate some lovely hot Hot-X buns which K brought home from work. I am not beating myself up over these treats - I thoroughly enjoyed them and I know that I will pay for them over the next week but at least I didn't eat them and then regret having eaten them !!!!!
I have to confess to having withdrawal symptoms today as, scale whore that I am, I jumped on the scales this morning (actually it was more a gingerly step but you get the idea) and found that I weighed - NOTHING !!! The batteries were flat and, not having two spare watch batteries lying around the house - I have no idea of the damage from the weekend. I am in two minds about what to do - A's frame is coming off on Thursday and we have a HUGE celebratory dinner planned for either Thursday or Friday depending on how he is feeling plus a couple of eating outings on the weekend - do I get back on track for two days (well one day actually as today has been shot to pieces already) or should I just put it all to one side until next week. My head is saying "Do what you can in the mean time as it will mean less work in the long run" but my heart is saying "Stuff it all - it is just all too hard - leave it until you are in the right frame of mind" but what if next week I am not in the right frame of mind and it blows out another week and then another ? Tonight I will try to sit down and come up with a plan of attack - I work better when I have a plan as I am more organised and better prepared.
Well, my lunch 1/2 hour is over and I had better get back to work - take care and have a great week !
PS - on a much happier note I walked past some jeans on the weekend which were on sale and I went and tried a couple of pairs on and landed up buying a pair a size smaller than what I have been wearing for a while now - YAY !!!!!

Happy Easter !

2007-07-25T20:13:00.001+10:00

Well, I can't say my head is in a better place just yet but I am sooooooooooooooo looking forward to the 4 days off over Easter. We don't have much planned - we are hoping to go cycling if the weather is fine and then the rest of the time is going to be spent working in the garden and getting that as close to finished as what we can while we wait for the rest of our pavers to arrive and get that job completed.
It has been a rather stressful week at work - next week will probably not be much better as not only have I got a holiday on Monday but I will be off on Thursday taking A to the hospital to get the frame taken off his leg - finally, his halos will be gone forever !!!! What a pleasure that will be - mind you, it hasn't been that bad once he got over the pain. The good thing will be no more infections happening around the entry/exit sites.
Have a wonderful Easter everyone - take care when travelling and go safely ! Remember that what you eat today will show tomorrow and if you really want it, eat it and enjoy it without feeling guilty and then try to do some additional exercise to counter-act what you ate. (Not that this would be new news to any of you but really just a reminder !!!)

McWhinge Day

2007-07-25T20:12:00.000+10:00

Today is McWhinge day for me - I don't want to be at work, I have a headache that isn't getting any better, I don't want to HAVE to work every day - I'd like to work because I want to not because I have to. And, I am tired of being fat - not tired enough to get motivated and eat correctly - just tired enough to want to moan about it and then move on !!!
On top of it, I feel like such a fraud - I heard today that I came 3rd in Jodie's 10 week challenge which I started at the beginning of the year. She mailed me yesterday to tell me and ask me which book I would like as a prize and, while I did reply, I do feel like a fraud - not because I didn't put the hard work in in the first place but because it has all gone to pot now and I can't even seem to stay on track for a week. During the week I am not too bad, managing to snuffle enough points each night for dinner, but on the weekends, I am just shocking.
I know what I need to do - jeez, on Thursday I even did it - I resisted the temptation to eat just for the sake of eating. I made the decision that I didn't need the Tim Tams and I didn't have them. How come I can't do that the rest of the time ? Probably because I am not organised, I haven't sorted out meals for the week (at least having some clue about what is for dinner earlier than 5pm would be a start) and I am lazy. My mojo is gone and I want it back.
We have booked our tickets for overseas but that doesn't seem to be enough motivation for me - possibly because I keep forgetting that they are booked. Maybe I need to have a big posted in the kitchen - REMEMBER YOUR HOLIDAY !!! Maybe that would stop me picking at the food in the fridge and in the cupboard.
At least I have got it off my chest and now I can get back to work having eaten my Oxo sandwich for lunch and not gone to Coles to see what I could buy from there. Which, of course would have been eaten before I got back to work so that nobody knew that I had eaten it because, as we all know, what we eat in secret doesn't have to get counted into our points for the day - NOT !!!!!
Have a great day everyone and take care !

2007-07-25T20:11:00.000+10:00

Bugger - have been typing for ages when our financial service called and asked me to check something out and I lost the whole post !!!!!
I am going to try this to see how it works (and looks) as it would be more convenient to use this for my blog - sort of like one stop shopping for me. Plus, at this stage, this site hasn't been blocked by the IT guys. I know that work actually pay me to work which is one of the reasons I have not blogged as much as I used to.
We are off shortly to collect our dearest darling from the airport. I am sure that we will stop for something to eat along the way and then, I have to get back on track before the losses I have had since the beginning of the year start to disappear !!!! I HAVE to have these kilos off before we go on holiday.
We had a great weekend away - even if it was too busy, there was too much food and it was too hot (mind you I wasn't expecting anything less) !!! I was very pleased that I had 3 pairs of boardies to wear - they all fitted and were comfortable to sit around in all day - YAY for old fat clothes that I didn't get rid of !!! Our dearest darling didn't do badly in the tournament - we do realise that she is going to have to change the club she plays for if she wants to continue playing softball at a higher level but we will sort that all out soon. She certainly didn't let the side down which is what she was really worried about. Here's hoping that the teenager we pick up from the airport has got rid of the snotty attitude she had before she left and comes home with the realisation that (a) she isn't the only child in the world that has chores to do, (b) while she may think the whole world revolves around her - it doesn't and (c) if she expects to see her 15th birthday she is going to have to pull finger !!!!
Take care everyone and have a great evening !
TFTD : How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are ?
TIAGF : A wonderful break in Cairns

Moving on

2007-04-02T17:34:00.000+10:00

Hi Everyone

Well I have decided to move on to another blog address. Please e-mail me at kal20m at gmail dot com if you are interested in following the adventures of a yo-yo dieter.

Thank you all for your support - it has really helped to get me through some tough times.

Take care and look after yourselves !

Frankenstein's bride

2007-03-21T17:26:00.000+10:00

I am sitting here at 9pm looking like Frankenstein’s bride with all these electrode’s connected to my head. The sleep technician asked me about ½ hr ago when I would be ready for bed and was hugely surprised when I said in about 4 hrs - he then told me I would probably need to go to bed earlier than that tonight - well that would be good - I can spend even longer tossing and turning in bed !!!!! He said he would come and connect me up and then I could stay up in bed a little longer if I wanted (feel like a little kid who has been told I’ve been naughty and have to go to bed !!!) The techi just came in and connected another 10 electrodes to my arms, legs, waist, chest and neck - how the hell am I supposed to go to sleep like this ??????? Thank goodness Al isn’t here - what a turnoff it would be for him to see my like this. I phoned him just now to tell him that I am expected to go to sleep soon and he just laughed. It was funny when we arrived, the techi let us in and said “I used to work with you” to Al and I. I couldn’t really place him then he said “At Coles” and I realised why I couldn’t place him - he now has hair - he used to shave his head when he worked with us there.

I have been doing some thinking lately about my blog and whether or not I should continue with it. I started off because I found it really motivating for me to have - I felt that it was a forum I could use to keep me honest and I got a lot of inspiration from reading what other people where getting up to. I realised that I wasn’t the only one who ate in secret, that I wasn’t the only one who felt “woe is me” at times, that I wasn’t the only one who, when things got tough, turned to food - not because it made the tough times go away but because, for the moment, it made me feel better. I have realised that, getting to goal isn’t the end of the journey, it is the beginning of a life of learning how to maintain (well I haven’t mastered that yet but I am working on it).

Currently I don’t have the time to blog or to read other blogs - my choices are different to what they were last year. Last year was very much about me and what I wanted and I have learnt that I need to find a better balance between what I want and what my family needs. While I realise that I need “me” time in order to be a better wife, mother, friend - there has to be the correct balance and sitting in the computer room for hours at a time just isn’t the right balance. In my previous job, I could always make time to hop on and read a blog or two in the morning if I got to work early or during my lunch hour etc. As I now start work earlier, only get ½ hour for lunch (what’s that - we never take it anyway) and most blogs have been blocked by our IT dept - it isn’t as easy to stay in touch with what is going on in people’s lives as what it used to be. This doesn’t mean that I don’t think of many of you often or wonder what you have been getting up - sometimes I even get as far as an e-mail or a phone call when I can. But it has certainly meant that I am not as in touch as I used to be and that makes me sad because I have met the most amazing people through here. I am sure that some of the friendships will last for many years to come and while they aren’t ‘live in your pocket’ friends - they are certainly true friends in every sense of the word.

I guess what I am saying is that, while my journey is not finished yet, I don’t know if I will be as active in this forum as what I was in the past. I don’t know what it is that I need to do to keep me motivated and on track so that I can get to goal and if I find that not blogging is to my detriment, I will be back more frequently. In the meantime, I will not be posting as often as I would have liked because it doesn’t seem to be doing for me what it did last year. ( I don’t know if I am making sense with this - and if not, please just ignore the last bit). I guess it is the same as with everything else in life - you need to find what works for you and stick with it as long as it does. Once it stops working for you, you need to explore other avenues. What I do know is that I have come to far to toss it all in. We went and booked our tickets for overseas today - tentative at the moment, but booked none the less. I had thought that the Rugby World Cup was in July / August and couldn’t work out why we were having such difficulty getting flights in September / October - I had the wrong dates. RWC is in September / October and because we have booked to go to a European country - every man and his dog is wanting to get there as well. The travel agent is going to keep trying for a particular airline but at least our tickets are booked. With a bit of luck we will be able to arrange some timeshare accommodation which won’t cost an arm and a leg (although I am quite happy to give a teenage daughter away in exchange for 3 weeks accommodation).

Actually right now I am probably happy to give a teenage daughter away full stop - while she can be such an angel at times - she can also be a complete pain in the jack (much like most teenagers, I’m sure). I wish I could remember when I stopped thinking that the whole world revolved around me and took other people’s needs into consideration. I am just hanging out for Cairns this weekend although once there I will probably want the cooler weather of the Coast. The good thing is that I am 8kg’s lighter than I was a the beginning of the year and while I can’t say that I am happy with myself, I am certainly a lot happier than I was on 2 Jan when I jumped on the scales and though enough is enough. When I went to dinner with some girl friends the other week, the one said she was so glad I had put on weight as she had felt that I was far too thin the last time she had seen me. While I didn’t agree with her, it made me realise just how differently people see us to how we see ourselves. When I got married and weighed 45 kgs, I may have thought I was too thin - at 63kgs, I never ever thought I was too thin. And even now, I still don’t think I was too thin at that weight.

I have just got the nod to say I have to start thinking about going to sleep - jeez you pay $220 for the night and they think they can tell you when to get up, when to go to bed, when to go to sleep LOL - maybe they want more time to try to monitor me - well, fat lot of good it is going to do them - you can’t monitor someone’s sleep patterns if they are not sleeping !!!!!!

Will read for a while before switching the light off - actually just thought - I’ll update how tonight went before I post this as I won’t be doing the e-mail thing so will have to wait until I can actually get onto the computer at home - hope this isn’t too far out of date by the time that happens.

Take care everyone, be good and go safely !!

Update 21st March 07
Well I could just as well be in hospital - they woke me up at 5.30 after not having had too much sleep. After I finished the mail to you I didn’t get much done as I had to put my light out at 10pm - when I was typing this up I had 12 electrodes in my hair and on my face. Then he came in and put some on my legs, arm and neck - then I had a big strap around my waist, then another around my chest. I looked at him and asked him if I was supposed to sleep like this and he said yes !!!! Then he came back and put a breathing thing in my nose and a pulse monitor on my finger - and then told me to go to sleep !!!!!! Well, as you can imagine there was a lot of tossing and turning and not much sleeping happening - am not sure how they could work out anything from that. He came through twice during the night - once because the breathing thing had come out my nose and the second time because I was squashing the pulse thing on my finger and they were getting a wrong reading. Had to get up and get dressed by 6am and have just finished having breakfast - now waiting to see the dr and then will have to wait for Al and K to come and collect me and take me to work. I have to say that I REALLY don’t feel like going into work today - I could just go home and curl up on my bed.

It's official

2007-03-13T19:11:00.000+10:00

I am back to dicking around !!!! BUGGER – I was supposed to be back ontrack and getting my act together. I have a million reasons (excuses???) about why I am doing what I am doing (or should that be notdoing what I should be doing) but it all boils down to not beingprepared, not being organised, not planning in advance what I need andwhat I am doing, and, this past week, a lack of exercise.

Over the past weekend I spent most of Saturday and Sunday up and downthe scaffolding while I was filling holes and painting the safeets onthe verandah. My legs, back and arms certainly knew that I had donesomething out of the ordinary. It landed up being a bit of a rush jobbecause the tiler said he could start and I had to get the paintingdone before he put the new pavers down otherwise I would have justjinxed myself into spilling paint on them once they were laid. He isdoing a fantastic job and while it is probably turning out to be alittle more expensive than we had originally thought – it willdefinitely be worth the money once it is finished. I will post somepics once it is all done.We have also got some rain water tanks. We weren't going to go withthe tanks but then Al decided that it would be the right thing to doso we landed up with 4 x 500l tanks – two at the back of the house andtwo down the side of the house. The two for the side of the house aretemporarily connected outside our bedroom as the stones from the frontyard are currently down the side of the house and there is only roomfor stones or tanks – not both. We have had some good rain lately andAl looked last night and the tanks closest to the bedroom are full.The tanks at the back of the house were only connected after so theyaren't as full and Al ran the hose from the full tanks to the emptytanks so that we could fill them and not lose any water as the temptanks have no overflow except out into the garden at this stage. Thetiler was very pleased as Al said he could use that water when cuttingthe tiles – actually I am very happy as that will mean less waterusage for us to pay for.My eating has been ordinary to say the least. Too many nights ofgetting home late from work, or working too long outside and thencoming inside and not being bothered to cook. I was also sillybecause I bought a packet of Cinnamon Crunch biscuits (I haven't hadthose in ages) on the understanding (yeah right) that I would onlyhave two at a time and only two per day. Not sure who I was trying tokid with that – there is no point in eating those if you don't eat atleast 4-6 in a sitting. Consequently, the packet didn't last morethan a couple of days. The good thing is that (for now) I will not bebuying anymore because I know that they are evil when they are in thecupboard !!!! Maybe I should use CKK's theory and break them all upbecause, as she very kindly reminded me, broken biscuits don't haveany calories in them !!!! We went to get some groceries last nightand Al was good enough to buy chocolate that I don't like so there isno chance of me eating any of it.I can't remember if I have mentioned this – our plans to Canada havefallen through due to some tragic change in circumstances for ourfriends in Canada. So we are now exploring the world to see whichcountry we will go to visit instead. We have a couple underconsideration – will let you know more when we are a little closer toknowing for sure.

Something else is official today – I am a little piggy !!!! I havestarted to eat in secret again and I HAVE TO STOP NOW !!!!! That ishow I put on so much weight in the first place. I went across toColes this afternoon and bought a mint flake which I ate on the wayback to school. As I was walking along I realised that on more andmore occasions I was eating in secret - when there was no-one aroundto see how much I ate. I think that a level of complacency has creptinto my life-style change – I have not been as diligent as I was atthe beginning of the year with regards to what I eat, how I track, howmuch exercise I do or how much water I drink. I need to make a mentaladjustment NOW to get back to where I was so that I can continue tolose weight – I DON"T want to go away on holiday looking like a little(big ?) porker. I have some time up my sleeve but not enough to dillydally around like I have been doing.

I will make these changes now – today – and tomorrow I will continueto do the best that I possibly can. While I know that I can be toohard on myself sometimes – I think this is the time when I just need agood kick in the jack so make me knuckle down and get on with what Ineed to do. It isn't as though it is rocket science – less caloriesin and more exercise done, will produce a leaner me – one who is happywith how I look and is proud to get up and get dressed in the morning.I am going to attempt to post this via e-mail – but it may not work inwhich case I don't know when anyone will read this because it is likea bun-fight to get onto the computer at home.

Have a great week everyone and take care !

TFTD : Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alonein the light.

TIAGF : The realisation that I am slipping back into old ways and theability to change my attitude

(This is the last time I try to blog via e-mail - something must have changed and until I find out what it is I'm not going to continue with this - it is ridiculous !!)

Hopefully this works !

2007-03-08T17:01:00.000+10:00

The post below this one is one which I mailed last week. For some reason it didn't post and I have tried about 5 times to post it - I finally got it posted but it won't let me edit hence the many places where a 'space' has been taken out.

My weight this week stayed the same - I'm very happy about that as a dinner and two helpings of dessert on Friday night when I caught up with some girl friends after an absolute age didn't help my cause. Anyway, it was all good and the scales have since moved down a little which is the correct way for them to be moving,

Am off to pilates now - have a great Friday everyone and take care !

Not sure what is going on with this

2007-03-08T16:47:00.000+10:00

My weigh-in this morning saw another loss this week (0.8kg) taking my total loss since 2 January to 6.8kgs with a total loss when I was at my heaviest to 12.3kgs. Got to be happy with that !

It was a sad day yesterday when I got a phone call to say that thetreadmill was due to be collected. Unfortunately, I had to wave a sadgood-bye to it as I just can't afford to keep it another 3 months. I was feeling rather glum as I knew that it was so much easier to go walking on that than to get out onto the road - at least there I couldhop on and off if required to do something for dinner or quickly sortthe washing out etc. Never mind, there can always be a next time. Iwas looking back through my eating and exercise plan for the week justgone - again I had more days of exercise than not which is what I amaiming for. And, my eating was definitely much better than theprevious week. While I was sitting doing nothing, I remembered that afriend of mine had given me a Walk Away the Pounds video - it was the3 mile programme so thought I would give that a try - a littlehesitant at first I have to say because I felt VERY strange doing thisin the middle of the lounge room. K was busy with her homework and Alwas on his wobble board so I put the video on and gave it a go. Idefinitely worked up a huge sweat and, 4.8kms and 45 mins later, Ifinished it. It felt really good and I felt great that I had got offmy butt and done something - especially as I only started it at 8.30and had to make sure I was showered and changed ready for work by9.40pm. While I think it would get a little boring after a while, Ihave a couple of other videos that my friend gave me so will see if Ican set up a machine in the spare room so that I don't have to do itin front of everyone plus I can go and do it if the others are busywatching something on TV that I don't want to watch. I'm not sure if
training after school until 5.30 or 6pm and then we have to dash her down to the APS Swimming Carnival. So a busy night ahead with not much time left for exercising - oh well, it won't be the end of the world and I'm not going to lose any sleep over it either !!!!

I'll continue to try to finish the week exercising more days than I don't. I went to the sleep clinic yesterday for the initial consultation and now have to keep a sleep diary until I go back for my sleep study in March. I am on the cancellation list so if a place becomes available sooner and I can make it i.e. not a night we are working because they will only call between 7.30-8.30pm hence the need to keep the sleep diary from now and not only the two weeks prior to my appointment. I really hope they are able to find out the problem and get something sorted out for me.

TFTD : Friendship is the bridge between lonely and loved. It stretches from the fog into sunshine, hopelessness into faith, between despair and joy.

TIAGF : My motivation which has been around since the beginning of the year.

Where has the time gone to ?

2007-02-24T21:49:00.000+10:00

I knew that it had been a while between posts - I just didn't realise how long it had been !!!

Things have been so hectic with me - between long hours at work plus trying to keep on top of things at home - I am totally exhausted. The good thing is that the new computer system is in - very frustrating at times but it is in. Now, if they could just stop having to reboot it 3 or 4 times a day - things would be really dandy. I went into work today as I had to get the accounts ready for the auditors on Monday - there are two jobs which I didn't get to (well actually I chose not to do them because I was over working on a Saturday and wanted to get home !) but I can do them first thing on Monday morning and then I will be ready to tackle February's accounts.

My water drinking has slipped a little lately - more Coke Zero's than water but I figured that so long as it doesn't disappear altogether, I'll be OK. Will make a concerted effort this week to getting back to drinking at least 2 glasses of water for each CZ.

I have been very proud of my exercise achievements - I have exercised more days than not and, even when I have been tired, I have got on the treadmill for at least 20 mins (this was one day that I just couldn't do anymore). I was talking to a friend of mine last night and we were saying how we 'trick' ourselves into going a bit further before stopping our exercise - whether it is to the end of the ad break or the next ad break or rounding up the calories or the time or the distance - it really is amazing how you can keep going sometimes long after you think you can't carry on.

I had a lovely surprise today when I rang M for a chat - I got 3 for the price of 1 - I got to talk to M, Mary and CKK - what a great surprise and such an uplifting experience. It didn't matter that we hadn't spoken for a while - it was just like picking up where we left off previously. I felt very happy and light on my way home from work - thank you guys for being there and for chatting and boosting me with your happiness. I'm just sorry that you had to have the non-trapeze BBQ in the first place (and even more sorry that I couldn't share it with you) !!!!!

Tomorrow we are off to the Travel Expo on the GC to see if we can better the prices we have for the tickets to Canada - hopefully we will be able to finalise these soon as I really want to know WHEN we are going - once the tickets are booked it will become so much more real I'm sure. I picked up the Lonely Planets guide to San Francisco today so will be taking that to bed just now - if it is as good as the other LP guides, we will definitely be buying it before we leave. Am not sure about Canada as we are going to be staying with friends and I am sure they will have all the inside info on what we should see and where we should go.

I hope that you are all having a great weekend - take care and look after yourselves !

Another week down

2007-02-14T15:11:00.001+10:00

This week saw a loss of 0.4 taking my total loss since 2nd January 07
to 5.6kg. This equates to 0.94kg per week which isn't too bad all
things considered. I know that I have had more good weeks than bad, I
have exercised more days than I haven't and I have drunk more water
than I did in the previous 6 months combined. My goal for Jodie's 10
week challenge was to lose 5kgs so I am happy with where I am right
now.

Things have been very hectic at work the past 10 days - we are
changing over to a new computer system today and so haven't been very
productive in the office. Have gone to start several things only to
get part way through and find that I can't go any further because I
need to use the system. Tomorrow and Friday we will be tied up in
training and then it will be full steam ahead the following week
finishing off everything that has to be done for the auditors coming
the following Monday. Plus I still have to get the January accounts
finalised but there is a hold-up with that and I am waiting on
something from someone else before I can continue. All in all a
really busy time of the year for me - hopefully it will all quieten
down in the not to distant future.

I am still very happy with eTools - I can't believe how much easier it
is track what I am eating and to stay on top of it. Yesterday I
didn't have a particulary good day - a small packet of Peanut M&M's
which wasn't the end of the world but then I landed up working until
after 8pm and when Al and K came to fetch me, we stopped at a local
tavern for dinner (our Valentine's Dinner). I had grilled snapper
which was really nice except that they had brushed the lemon butter
over the top before they grilled it even though I had asked for it on
the side. I would normally have sent it back but at 8.45 I was ready
to eat the table never mind worry about some extra butter. I also had
some of the chips and the small piece of avo which was on top of the
fish but then K couldn't finish her pizza and I had a slice of that as
well. Not feeling like I had eaten enough, while sitting at home
watching TV at midnight - I thought a snack would be good (having
forgotten about the M&M's I'd eaten earlier in the day !) and opened
the cupboard to find a Belgian Chocolate single serve dessert sitting
there staring back at me. I popped in the micowave and 30 seconds
later sat down to eat this wonderfully chocolate dessert - what a
disappointment it was !!! Then, because I remembered all the starving
children around the world and forgot my resolution that if I didn't
like something I wasn't going to eat it, I proceeded to eat the whole
thing - all 5.5 points of it. To say that I got a shock this morning
when I calculated my points for yesterday is an understatement - not
only did I eat 34.5 points instead of the 19 points I am allowed but I
also didn't exercise having had to cancel my pilates class because I
was still at work. BIG BUGGER !!!! I am going to have to do some
major catch up of points this week. Having only had my jewellery on
for 1 day I don't want to get to next weeks weigh-in and find that I
have to take it off and put it back in the safe.

Have a great week everyone and go safely !

TFTD : Friendship is like a rose ... opening one petal at a time.
And, as it unfolds ... day by day, it reveals it's true beauty.

TIAGF : No compuer system - the break from work has been good even
though it is going to bite me on the butt when I have to catch up on
the new system !

It's time to ....

2007-02-10T18:21:00.000+10:00

stop dicking around and get back on track !! The weekend away was wonderful and not counting everything that went into my mouth was great. But, we have now been back nearly two weeks and I am not quite back in the groove again. Nothing serious - just little extras here and there - an extra half spoon of this and a couple more of that. I need to get back on track PROPERLY and stay there until these excess kilos are gone. I am pleased with how things are going - aim to take my measurements tomorrow (haven't taken them since I started) - the scales were saying 75kg this morning which I'm happy with but I am sure that they will be higher than that on Tuesday. This Tuesday just gone saw a gain of 0.2 but I can't complain as my exercise last week wasn't that flash and my eating (as I said earlier) is still not quite what it should be. My first goal is to get to 75kg (at my normal weekly weigh-in) and then I can wear my jewellery again. I took it off when I started this at the beginning of the year and set myself this reward when I got to the 75kg mark. The people from my old work were rather surprised to see my without jewellery as I never take it off but I thought it may be something to keep me motivated and get me started on this endeavour.

I have had a very up and down week - two days off work due to migraines. A trip to the dr to explain that I can't keep having time off work and the promise to go back to see her once the headaches are all gone to see if it is possibly hormonal - early menopause - I hope bloody not ! I don't think I could cope with that at the moment. Needless to say my exercise (apart from pilates on Thursday night) has been non-existent this week. But I will back into it next week when I am feeling 100% again. Low blood pressure isn't helping either as every time I get up I feel dizzy.

We have just got back from a BBQ with my work mates from my previous job - what a great afternoon we had. We really should try to get together more often and catch up on what everyone has been up to. I really would like to be at goal (or at least a lot closer to goal) when next we meet up.

Our plans for Canada are coming along very nicely. The travel agent gave us a few flight options - one of them going via either LA or San Fran - jumped at the chance to go back to San Fran (wouldn't give you thank you to go back to LA) so it looks like we will be spending 2 1/2 weeks in Canada and 10 days in San Fran. Nothing definite yet but getting closer every day.

Work is really hectic at the moment - new year, new budgets to be loaded and a new system being implemented on Wednesday - not looking forward to that or the days that are going to follow after (well for a while at least). I'm sure it will all be good - if I can get through the next couple of weeks relatively unscathed I will be very happy. Actually if I could get through the next couple of weeks having lost some weight as well I will be extremely happy !!!!

On that note - I had better be off - playing taxi to the working class of the household tonight.

Take care everyone and have a great week !

Proud to be Me !

2007-01-30T11:09:00.001+10:00

Yesterday I wrote about how I was proud to be an Australian - today I
am proud to be Me ! I stepped very gingerly onto the scales this
morning - not sure what I was going to see and, to my delight, I saw a
1.6kg loss. Of course I am going to have to make sure that my weekend
doesn't catch up with me - but I certainly feel like the effort I have
put in since the beginning of the year is being rewarded. I am glad
that I didn't toss it all in last week when I stayed the same. I am
glad that I didn't sneak off to the snack machine (which has been
empty the whole school holidays but is now full) to buy anything
yesterday afternoon when I was feeling like a chocolate was just what
I needed to hit the spot. I am really glad that at 9pm last night,
when all I wanted to do was have a shower and go to bed, I got on the
treadmill and did 2.5kms of walking.

This morning when I entered my weight into eTools - I got a message
back saying "You might be losing weight a bit quickly". I do
understand that it isn't good to lose weight too quickly but I have
never felt like I am losing it too quickly. I know that this can't go
on for much longer as I don't have that much to lose. Having said
that, I have put it on over a relatively short space of time so is it
unrealistic for me to expect it to come off in a short space of time ?
For most of us it is a case of not being able to lose it quickly
enough.

Did anyone see the programme on Extreme Skinny Celebreties last night
(not sure which channel it was on) - they showed some photos where
these celebrities photos had been aged - gee, I hope I don't look
anything like that when I get old !!! I never used to think that you
could be too thin but after seeing some of those people, I do think
that you can be too thin. Being too thin is definitely very aging
plus unhealthy in terms of what you can suffer as a result of being
too thin - blood disorders, heart problems, skeletal problems, hormone
imbalances etc.

Tonight I am off to pilates and then home to dinner and (hopefully) an
early night. I am amazed at how, there are some days when I am so
focussed on what I want to achieve and how I can go about achieving it
and then on other days it is like I am a completely different person
who can't see what it is I'm trying to achieve and everything is just
too hard. How strange the human psyche can be.

TFTD : Hold a true friend with both your hands

TIAGF : A good result on the scales

Proud to be Australian !

2007-01-29T11:30:00.001+10:00

We are home after having had an absolutely wonderful break away in
Noosa. The resort was first class and when I have managed to download
the photos, I will load some of the pics for you to see.

When we were driving up to Noosa on Friday - we went via Redcliffe,
Glass House Mountains, a lunch stop at Maleny and then drive throughs
at Montville and Mapleton. While we have celebrated 7 Australia Days
in the country, and we have been citizens for the past 5 years, this
is the first time that I have felt really proud to be Australian. We
drove past I don't know how many houses flying the flag, cars with
flags on their aerials or sticking out of windows, hanging from poles
at picnic spots - it was just amazing. Maybe it was so noticeable
because it was the first time that we had really been out driving on
Australia Day - generally we stay at home and enjoy the day off work.
But, it was something which, each time I saw the flag, made me proud
to be Australian.

Foodwise I had the best weekend that I could and I made the best
choices that I could (most of the time). I did have a 99% Fat Free
ice-cream as well as a Heaven ice-cream but it was so hot I really
didn't mind the extra points. I also had a couple of M&M's, two
little Mars Lite bars and about 6 crisps when we were watching some of
the cricket. But, on the whole, I had a good weekend without making
everyone's lives a misery with not wanting to eat this or that or
constanting spending the time working out points (which would have
been most guestimates as I didn't have the nutritional breakdown for
most of what we ate). We had salad sandwiches or rolls for lunch each
day so that worked out well. Last night I had the most delicious
pizza from a little Italian place along the river. The good thing was
that there wasn't a lot of cheese on it. We bought some lovely grapes
and strawberries from the Eumundi Markets on Saturday so that was good
- I made sure I didn't eat too many of them as I know that they can
add up rather quickly when you are just picking out the packet and
have no portion control happening.

We didn't do any walking as such although 5 hours around Eumundi
markets on Saturday as well as up and down each nursery which we
stopped at would have clocked up quite a few steps had I been wearing
a pedometer. We did quite a bit of walking in and out of shops -
bought a couple of birthday presents, bought ourselves some presents,
bought the house some presents. K was a model child this weekend - am
not sure where we left the impatient, full of attitude, always right,
has to be heard, it's all about me child when we left but that
certainly isn't the person that spent the weekend with us - she was an
absolute delight to have around. She bought herself a dress at the
markets which looks really lovely on her - but at the same time so
strange on her as she isn't a 'dress' person - she is always in shorts
/ jeans / 3/4 pants / dungarees. She looked absolutely wonderful.
She asked me if I could give her a French manicure - how could I say
no ???? She stayed in the top unit and Al and I stayed in the bottom
unit but she was very good about keeping it tidy and going to bed when
she was supposed to - such a wonderful change from the whining
teenager that she can be when it suits her !!!!

I am all fired up to keep on doing what I have been doing since the
beginning of the year - this is the last time that I want to go away
on holiday and be embarrassed about how I look. Last night when K was
all dressed up for dinner and I stood next to her, I felt awful and I
felt that I looked awful. She kept on reassuring me that I looked
fine but I know I didn't. Al was very diplomatic and said that I
would get to a weight that I am happy with again and not to be too
hard on myself. K then proceeded to tell me about what a hard time I
had last year and that it would all come good in the end. I have had
my leave approved (in principle) for later this year (Sept/Oct) so we
are now going to look at making those plans for our overseas holiday.
Will let you know how they are progressing as we go along (will try
not to bore you all to tears with too many details). There is no way
I want to go over weighing a lot more than when we saw them last year
so that is a really good incentive for me to get these kilos off and
KEEP THEM OFF !!!!

I will be walking on the treadmill tonight - am not sure how far, for
how long or at what time but I will definitely walk. We were up at
4.30 this morning to leave to get back to the Coast in time so I
shouldn't imagine we will be having a late night tonight. I have
taken tonight as a days leave so that we can get home, unpack the car,
unpack the bags, get some washing done and be organised for the rest
of the week. I really feel revitalised after the weekend away - the
change from the normal day to day chores was just what I needed (long
may the feeling last !!)

TFTD : The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me.

TIAGF : A lovely break away and the re-kindling of a better
appreciation of my family

A long weekend to look forward to

2007-01-25T10:10:00.001+10:00

The good news for me is that the scales have moved down a little since
Tuesday when they didn't move at all. I have continued to do what I
know I should and, as M very kindly pointed out to me, 12 squares of
chocolate is not the end of the world, it just means that my journey
is 12 squares of chocolate longer. What a great way to look at it and
a thought process I am going to be using in the future - do I want to
prolong my journey by that dessert or that ice-cream or that chocolate
- Thanks for the M !!!!

Last night I got home from work just before 8pm and hopped straight
onto the treadmill - I did have to ask Al if the exercise would ever
get any easier and if I would EVER look forward to exercising - he
just smiled and looked at me, knowing that it was a rather loaded
question and taking the safest option of not saying anything !! But,
I managed 3,2kms on the treadmill before I sat down to dinner so that
was good. I am looking forward to my equipment pilates session this
evening although I have heaps to do apart from that - I need to go to
the library to get some books for the weekend - have shopping to do
and of course, have to pack. My Mom asked me last week if I knew what
food we were taking etc - not bloody likely - I wasn't even thinking
about going away never mind planned what I am going to take !!!!!

My food intake has been good - thankfully the chocolate which Al had
bought is now finished. While he is good about supporting my efforts
- we have had the conversation where I have said that I don't think he
and K should have to do without because I am trying to lose weight.
When he buys chocolate he normally leaves it in the outside fridge
which I don't go into very often and so never know that it is there -
this time it was in the inside fridge which is why I could hear it
calling me so clearly !!!!!

I hope all the Australian readers have a wonderful Australia Day long
weekend - I am looking forward to 3 days away from home - at a lovely
resort. Hopefully the weather will be good to us - mind you, if I get
some decent books form the library, it won't matter what the weather
does anyway. Plus, we will always go out driving even if it is
raining.

TFTD : We are not the same persons this year as last, nor are those we
love. It is a happy chance if we changing, continue to love a changed
person.

TIAGF : Looking forward to a long weekend

Like that would help !!!!!

2007-01-23T21:35:00.000+10:00

After a rather heated discussion with Al this afternoon on the way home from work - he went off to have x-rays and I came home to get ready for pilates. The only trouble was the chocolate in the fridge which called me on the way to pilates. So, 6 pieces later, I got to pilates. Then after getting home, going to collect K from her dinner meeting and eating dinner, another 6 pieces of chocolate called me from the fridge - BIG BUGGER !!!!!!!!! At 3.5 points for 6 squares - that is 7 points down the tubes - again BIG BUGGER !!!

Oh well - what is done is done and I am only posting this to save me from raiding the fridge again. Tomorrow we are off to Brisbane to the specialist - should be an interesting appointment and then I will have to work back to make up the time. We have hair appointments at 7.15 so am not sure when I am going to get some treadmill work in because I am going to have to earn lots of bonus points this week to make up for the chocolates tonight. If only my legs weren't so tired tonight I would have got on for a couple of kms now.

Think I will have a shower and try to get an early night tonight - well I can always hope to get to bed and go straight to sleep instead of tossing and turning for hours on end.

I hope you have had a better day than I have had today !!!

Very disappointed !!!

2007-01-23T12:39:00.001+10:00

I was hugely disappointed to get on the scale this morning and find
out that I had not lost a single gram since last week - not 200g, not
even 100g - just nothing - an absolute big fat ZERO !!!!! How can
that be ?

I have tried so hard - I have said no to chocolate on at least 3
occasions, said no to Baskin and Robbins ice-cream, said no to seconds
of dinner when it was really tasty - walked on the treadmill when I
could have blobbed in front of the TV, drank water when I really
wanted a Coke Zero - and all for nought. It just doesn't seem fair.

Thank you for letting me have my rant and rave - I'm now over my zero
loss for the week and I am determined to keep at it and the results
will show - eventually. They HAVE to show somewhere, don't they ?

Al wanted to go out to dinner tonight because K has a dinner meeting
for work and only has to be collected after 7pm - after this morning I
said I would prefer not to go out and he was very understanding about
it. We are going away for the long weekend and so I would rather
maybe go out to dinner one of those nights - especially as I have
meals planned for the rest of this week anyway - rather take me out on
a night when I haven't got anything planned !!!!!!

I am still using e-Tools and very happy with them (although I will
have to track manually while we are away this weekend but it shouldn't
be too bad) - the one problem I have is that I am not too sure if I
can trust the foods that they have pre-loaded e.g. there is one item -
skinless chicken thighs - one shows points of 4.5 and another one
shows it as 8points - a big difference which also puts a question mark
on the rest of their info. Maybe I should have been using the 8
points for chicken thighs rather than the 4.5 - chicken is my staple
food for dinner. Another thing (which is small as it is really only
0.5 points but which I guess could add up over a day / week) - the Oat
Temptations - the berry and date ones are 2 points each but the
apricot and apple ones are 2.5 - on e-Tools they are all 2 points.

Does anyone know about whether we are still allowed 14 sugar / alcohol
points per week - there is no counter for that in e-Tools and I seem
to recall someone saying that you didn't need to count them anymore -
you just needed to eat them (and your alcohol points) within
moderation. What I would like to know is "What is moderate ?" - whose
moderation is it because I know that everyone has a different level /
idea of what is moderate. I personally feel that 1 big Cadbury's slab
of chocolate per day is moderate (and when I am binge eating - that is
probably the case) but to someone else that may be a little extreme
(for those of you are who don't me - the last sentence was said very
much tongue in cheek in case you were wondering !!!!!!!!!!!)

They have turned the water off at school today and it is dreadful - I
am so thirsty but daren't drink my water because then I need to piddle
and I can't get to the servo to go to the toilet because I don't have
my car here - very inconvenient !!!!!!

Better get back to work - lunch time is just about over. Have a great
day everyone and take care !

TFTD : Generosity is the essence of friendship

TIAGF : The ability to look forward and not worry about what happened last week

Another good weekend

2007-01-22T13:24:00.001+10:00

Another good weekend under the belt. Not much in the way of exercise
but I did get nearly 5 hours of scrubbing pool tiles - that has to
count for something.

My food in-take was great this weekend. I have tried this week to eat
more of my daily points - I used to save sometimes 20-24 points per
week but this week I thought I would try to only save 1-3 per day if I
didn't eat enough during the day. This has been fine except one day
when I ate 22.5 points instead of my 19 points but I figured there is
no point in saving points if you don't use them occasionally. The
trouble is that the scales aren't moving the right way - in fact they
have moved the wrong way !!!! Al has a theory that when you first go
on a diet (or change your way of eating as I like to call it - it
isn't as easy to fall off that as it is to fall of your diet !!!) your
body lets go of some fat. Then as you continue to eat less fat, it
says "Hey, I'm not getting the fat that I used to, I had better store
the next lot that comes my way" and so you don't lose as much. Now I
have no idea if there is any scientific proof of his theory but he
sticks to it firmly and trots it out each time I start a my way of
eating. It may also be the fact that I hop on the scale each morning
and yes, there are daily fluctuations which do sometimes make me
wonder "I'm doing all this hard work for THIS " !!!! But, I have
stuck to the plan and I am sure that if I continue to stick to the
plan, the results will show in the end.

I am very organised for the week ahead with meals planned and some
even cooked !!! I put a casserol into the slow cooker last night and
it was smelling really delicious when we walked through this morning -
just need to thicken it a little and dinner is all done. K is working
this afternoon and Al is working tonight so he can eat before he goes
and I will eat later with K after I have done some walking.

I dont' think I posted about my pilates session on the equipment
(Friday was like a mad house here) - it was GREAT ! I am so pleased I
decided to do it and can't wait for Thursday to come around so that I
can go back again. It really worked my legs and arms and I could feel
it in my hamstrings on Friday. It was that nice ache when you know
you have done something - although not as bad as I was expecting it to
be. Al said that because I had stretched after I had finished, that
helped with the break-down of lactic acid (I think that was what he
said anyway). apparently it is the build of lactic acid which causes
you to feel stiff the day after exercising.

Well, I had better get going - I'm slowly working my way down my
in-tray which is great - it isn't emty (and probably never will be)
but at least I am makeing in-roads into it. Have a great week
everyone and take care !

TFTD : If you want an accounting of your worth, count your friends

TIAGF : Air-conditioning

Another good day

2007-01-18T13:22:00.001+10:00

I am feeling a lot better today - maybe that has something to do with
the fact that my boss isn't in !!!! It is so hard to get used to
working with someone else - I worked with my previous boss at 3
different companies so I knew how she thought and how she liked things
done. This one isn't as easy !!! But, like everything else, I'll get
there eventually.

We had a really busy evening last night - left work a little early,
got K and off to the chiro while Al went to the pool shop. My back is
not doing as well as it should but I wasn't expecting her to say
anything else so that was OK. Up to the shops to get dinner -
couldn't find what I had planned so fell back on the trusted BBQ
chicken thighs. Got home - Al put the fire on and I made some mash,
zucchinis and carrots. Then a quick 1.5km/7kph on the treadmill
before dinner was ready. Sat down to eat and then had to do some
paperwork - finished getting that all scanned and sent and the hopped
back on the treadmill for another 1.6km/7kph before having a quick
shower and then into work. Thank goodness I can take my iPod to work
- I don't know how I used to manage without it !!!

This is definitely a new Me now - while I had wanted to do 7km last
night, when I realised I was going to run out of time, I just hopped
on and did what I could - 3.1km is definitely better than nothing. The
old Me would have said - I can't do the 7km as I don't have time, so I
won't bother and I would have sat in front of the TV like a couch
potato - long may it last !!!!!!!!! While I still didn't actually
enjoy the walk, the time passed quicker than I thought because I had
the TV on and watched Oprah and the news and then that Christine show
while I walked. Tonight sees me at my first equipment pilates session
(as opposed to a mat session) and I can't wait - I wish I was on my
way there already !!!

I am a little disappointed that even with this exercise, I am still
not sleeping very well. Monday night I last looked at the clock at
2.30am and then wouldn't let myself look anymore as I just start to
get anxious when I can't fall asleep. Last night I got up at about
2am and went through and watched some tennis (they were showing
replays of some the games played during the day) and finally went to
bed at about 3am - needless to say, I woke up feeling not that flash
this morning. The day hasn't been too bad - although it does normally
only hit me at about 3.30 in the afternoon.

TFTD : When friends stop being frank and useful to each other, the
whole world loses some of its radiance.

TIAGF : Getting on that treadmill and doing what I had time to do

Feeling a little flat today

2007-01-17T12:45:00.001+10:00

It isn't anything serious - just not feeling quite as excited and
motivated as I have been the last couple of days. It is probably the
result of feeling a little over-whelmed with work at the moment -
every night I go home and my "In Box" is over flowing (not literally
as it is all work which has to be done on the computer). I was
pleased to read in "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" last night that
nobody will ever die with an empty "In Box" and, while I don't want my
"In Box" to be empty every day (although it would be nice), I wouldn't
mind if there wasn't quite so many pressing issues which had to be
addressed in it ! The good thing is that I know that I am not the
only one in this situation and it is just a case of taking it one day
at a time and working through what I can - just like my life style
change and my new eating and drinking habits. I know that I will feel
a lot happier once I am just a little more on top of things - I just
need to be patient.

My eating is still great and my water intake has been really good. I
am very pleased with my efforts on that front. Last night at pilates
I made my appointment for my equipment pilates session (tomorrow night
at 5.30) so that will be something to look forward to. Tonight we are
off to the chiropractor and then I have to do some shopping for dinner
- maybe a stir fry ?

When I get home I will be doing some more work on the treadmill -
haven't decided how far but if I have enough time, it will be a 7km
walk. Then it will be off to work and another day done and closer to
the weekend. I am sure that there will come a time when I actually
look forward to stepping onto the treadmill - at the moment I am only
doing it because I know that it is good for me and because I need to
do it - I'm waiting for the day I get changed and get on there because
I want - THAT will be the turning point of my exercise regime. Once
again, I have to remember to be patient - this weight didn't all pile
on in one day so I really can't expect it to come off in one day (as
nice as that would be !!!)

Having just made the above comment, I have been thinking about how I
let myself put all this weight back on again. Was it because I never
really SAW myself when I was in front of the mirror ? At what point
did I stop sneaking glances into windows when I walked past them ?
How could I have not noticed that the kilos were creeping back on ?
Or, was it just that I was completely absorbed with everything else
happening in my life that I just never looked ? Whatever the reason,
I would like to think that next time I will be a little more vigilant
when I get to goal and as those numbers start to creep - get back on
the programme a lot sooner.

Today is a new day and I am going to continue to treat each day as
such - if I mess up one day, it is not going to have a snowball effect
into the next day and the day after that. The slate is wiped clean
each night when I go to bed so that I can wake up and tackle each new
day, one day at a time. With this plan to work to, I know that I will
get back to goal. I'm not putting any time limit on when this will
happen - there have been too many times in the past when I haven't
reached goals and been disappointed because of that. I know that
goals need to be measureable and my goal is 500g per week. If I
achieve that - great. If I don't, (for whatever reason) I commit to
continuing with my lifestyle change and seeing the results in later
weeks.

I hope you all have a fantastic week - take care and look after yourselves.

TFTD : Be true to your work, your word and your friends

TIAGF : The beautiful weather we are having

YAY - another loss !!

2007-01-16T13:03:00.001+10:00

I'm very pleased to say that I had another loss this week. While I
know that two weeks in a row isn't record breaking or outstanding or
even amazing - for me it is great because it means that I am doing
what I should be doing - correctly - and seeing the results on the
scale. I am also seeing the results in my clothes and, while it is
only 3.8kgs down, that loss has definitely made a difference to how my
clothes feel.

I am so motivated and excited about what I am doing now - I wish I
could bottle it up for the times when things aren't going as well. Al
was so pleased when I got on the scale and saw the loss - he really is
such a great support to me. He asked me what I was doing differently
to a few weeks ago. I said it was just cutting out the junk, drinking
water, eating fruit, exercising and watching my portion sizes. He
said that he didn't think that my portion sizes were way out and I
said no, they probably weren't but I very seldom eat because I am
hungry - more often than not I eat because I like food - actually, I
don't like food, I like junk. I would much rather sit down to a
packet of biscuits / chocolates / ice-cream / pizza than to a meal of
any description - no wonder my weight balloons like it does.

Last night I did 7kms / 7kph on the treadmill - I did have a break
after about 3kms and I didn't think I would finish it but then I just
started watching Dr Phil on the TV and before I knew it the 7kms were
done. I find that the treadmill is definitely better for me and I
have more of a work out than if I go walking for an hour on the road.
I tend to think about thinks when I am walking on the road and then
start to wander more than walk until I realise that I have slowed
right down and speed up again. I am off to pilates tonight and I am
going to see if she has any vacancies on the studio equipment. I have
always just attended the mat classes but after seeing the specialist
last week I am going to see if I can maybe attend one studio and one
mat class per week - will see how it fits in with everything else that
the family is doing.

Everyone seems to be off to a great start this year - lots of
motivation and positive energy around which is just great and exactly
what we all need. Isn't it strange how, when things are going well
and you feel on top of the world, it seems like you could tackle
anything - and win. I have been having a few difficult times at work
but these last two weeks I have just made my normal "To Do" lists but
this time I have actually followed them and worked my way through
them. What a great feeling it is to be able to cross things off the
list once they are done. I am a great 'List" person and I think, like
stepping on the scales (most times), it is the positive vibe I get
from crossing something off the list.

Anyway, enough waffle for one day - have a great weekend everyone and take care.

TFTD : Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens
adversity by dividing and sharing it

TIAGF : The positive energy and high motivation levels that I have

Another week gone by

2007-01-12T19:56:00.000+10:00

Where does the time go to ? I can't beleive that another week has passed me by. The good thing is that I am 1.6kgs lighter than I was last week - YAY ME !!!!! I was very pleased with that loss for the week although would have liked more seeing as it was my first week back counting, tracking, exercising and drinking water !!! But, I'm not unhappy with that loss.

I have spent another day this week in bed with a really dreadful headache - I think this is my body's way of saying "If you won't slow down, I'll make you slow down" - the trouble is that there is still so much that needs to be done. This weekend I have to go into work to catch up on work I didn't get done because I was flat on my back in bed. Plus I HAVE to clean the house - I cannot look at it any more the way it is - this is really stressing me out so I need to address the problem and then move on.

My food and water intake this week has been fan-bloody-tastic ! I am really pleased with how motivated I am - eating fruit, drinking water, getting home and getting on the treadmill before I do anything else (except last night and tonight when my head wouldn't allow me to walk !) Tonight we had some beautiful grilled fish and I did have a couple of chips with it but have counted them into my points for the day. I even had a little bit of liquorice after dinner. Liquorice has been my downfall during the past few months - it would be nothing for me to go to Coles, buy a packet of liquorice and the following lunch time, go back and buy another packet because the packet I bought yesterday was all finished. But, not any more - I haven't made one trip to Coles from school this year - instead I have been working through my lunch 1/2 hour which I said I wasn't going to do - that is when I am supposed to be typing up my my blog to post via e-mail. Note to self : Make sure you update blog at least 3 times per week during lunch 1/2 hour - this will ensure you have a break and are fresher and able to accomplish more in the afternoon !

I have also been using a 14 day free trial of eTools - I am finding them very useful and very motivating to use. This weekend I want to sit down and find some different recipes to try out next week. I guess it could become a bit tiresome to use after a while but for now it seems to be working for me so I am going to stick with it - it is cheaper than paying to go to a weekly meeting as a life-time member and with Jodie's challenge - the motivation to keep going is still there. When that starts to wane I will have to reassess what I am going to do.

We are going away for the long weekend at the end of January and I am really looking forward to the break although I have to say that I am going to have to work hard at making sure I stay within points while we are away. I will take my walking shoes with me and try to go for a walk each day - hopefully Al will be off his crutches by then and we can go walking together. Mind you, if he is walking with me it won't be at any great pace but I can live with that. The main thing will be making sure that I do the best that I can and if I do go over on my points for the week, I don't let it get out of hand - it is only one weekend - it isn't any special occasion - so there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to do this within points and with a loss for the week - I JUST NEED TO BE PREPARED AND ORGANISED !!!!

Have a great weekend everyone and take care.

PS - as soon as I can remember how to update my side bar, I will !

One week down - 51 to go !!!

2007-01-08T11:52:00.001+10:00

Well I haven't had quite the good start to the year that I anticipated
- food wise it has been great but I have been sick and so haven't been
able to exercise BUT I am not going to beat myself up over that. The
good thing is that I have been making good food and drink choices and
have been just under points each day since the 2nd and I really can't
complain about that.

There have been a few times when I have been tempted to reach for the
chocolate but I have managed to work my problems out some other way
instead of by stuffing my face. One night I did get very hungry at
about 10pm so I had some biscuits and a sandwich and I counted them
into my points for the day - that took my 6.5 points over for the day
but considering I had 12 points saved, I was OK. I have even been
drinking water every day - very reluctantly I have to say, but it is
going down which is the main thing. What I am trying to do now (and I
have been getting it right most of the time) is to have a glass of
water before I have a soft drink, then sometimes I haven't had the
soft drink because I feel full after having the glass of water.

I think that the big difference for me now is that my mindset is
different - I am more positive and more motivated than I have been in
the past 6 - 8 months (the fact that I am approx 13kgs heavier might
have something to do with it as well). To pinch a phrase from the TV
advert - Because enough is enough - sums up how I feel. As has
happened many times in the past, I reached the point where I knew I
couldn't go on like I was and that I had to do something about it. Oh
how I wish I had reached this point 10kgs ago - but it is so hard to
pull the reigns in when everyone is still saying "But you are looking
so good" and "Why are you still bothering with all that - you haven't
put on any weight". I guess I really was in denial thinking that I
could eat all that junk, not monitor my food intake in any way, drink
more than I would normally drink and still stay at my goal weight - it
had to start showing somewhere and my tummy, butt, hips and legs are
where it is now showing.

This is a new opportunity for me to show myself (and my family and
friends) what I can do when I put my mind to it. I will be back on
the treadmill this afternoon after work. I am also going to have to
get my bicycle out and dusted off because I spoke to the lady from
work re the swimming leg of the triathlon and she is really keen to
join us so hopefully we will be able to take part in a couple of races
and see how we go. The main thing is that I have a goal to train for
which is so much easier than just walking / cycling for the sake of
exercise.

On that note, I had better be going and get some work done otherwise I
won't be going home in time to get on the treadmill !!!

Take care everyone and have a great day !

TFTD : Real friendship is shown in times of trouble, prosperity is
full of friends.

TIAGF : A new beginning

A new year !

2007-01-02T21:26:00.000+10:00

Well - another year is over and new one just begun. I read Michelle's post earlier tonight and I could have cut and paste it into my blog and not worried about having to type anything - just about everything she said was how I felt, what had happened to me during the year, and what I am going to do about it - thank you Michelle for showing me that I am not the only one in this situation and for reinforcing that I can make a positive change in my life and get back to where I was 15 months ago.

I am not the type of person who makes New Year's Resolutions - I always feel that by making them I am setting myself up for failure. This was one of the reasons why I never started my life style changes yesterday plus it was a holiday and we had a broken pipe at home which needed to be repaired before the foundations under the back of the house were completely washed away !!!!

So today I got up, had some oats for breakfast, made myself a sandwich and took a WW fruit bar and some rice crackers into work - and that was all I ate at work !!!!!!!! An amazing feat for me who had become a regular shopper at Coles over the road during my lunch half hour (just long enough to get there - make it down the biscuit and confectionery aisles and get back to work with my supplies stocked up to keep me going for another day !)

I am working flexi time this week (as I am the only one in the office although the headmaster did come in for a short while today) and so I started at 7am in order to get home earlier this afternoon. When I got home Al had gone to Bunnings so I got changed and got onto the treadmill and walked 5kms/7kph with the occassional burst up to 9kph. I was absolutely drenched when I was finished but I felt fantastic - it is the first time in a long time that I have made the effort to do some exercise. BUT, it is something that I am going to work on doing every day - before I sit in front of the TV, before I start to cook dinner, before I worry about the chores around the house that need to be done.

This year it is about getting back to goal and learning how to maintain that weight - I managed to maintain for about 10 months after I got to goal in Sept 2005 but then things got out of hand and the big creep started. There are lots of "I should haves" and "I could haves" and "I wish I hads" but the bottom line is that I didn't and now I have to live with the disappointment of how I have let the weight creep back on and I have to just get back on track and do what I know I can do.

I have spoken to Al and K and they have both offered to help in any way they can which is great because I know that without their support it would be so much harder for me to achieve the results I know that I am capable of achieving.

I have joined in the Weghtloss 2007 challenge which Jodie has organised as I need the discpline of the weekly weigh-in plus the carrot of maybe being able to earn some money is good !!!! We have some big plans in the pipeline for this year and I would be so happy if I could be at goal (or at least close to goal) when they happen.

To each and everyone of you who keep coming back to read about where I am at - thank you ! The support I have received through this forum and the friends have made have been unbelievable - if anyone had told me 2 years ago I would have friends around the country and overseas and the difference they would make to my life, I would have laughed at them. You all are amazing people who have so many different talents to offer me and I thank you for that.

I wish you everything you wish for yourselves in 2007 and then some more on top of that - lets show everyone what a fantastic job we can all do losing weight and improving our life styles this year.

Quick Update

2006-12-02T20:33:00.000+10:00

Well another couple of weeks between posts but what can I say ????

Things are going well at home - the verandah is up and looks fantastic (even if it went up a month late and took them another two weeks to come around and silicone the joins !) but I know that it will certainly be well used once the rest of the renovations are completed. The concrete guy was supposed to come this week but his machine broke down and so we are hoping that he will be here next week - would really like it done before Christmas. Actually I want it done 2 months ago - the dust that blows into the house every time it is a little windy is driving me nuts !

Got home last night to find that the pool cover we have just bought (but not yet paid for) was no longer on our pool - BUGGER !!!!!!! Can we claim from insurance if we haven't paid for it yet ? Popped over to neighbours to see if they had seen anyone - no sorry but we did hear some banging - to steal a pool cover - couldn't be, must the neighbours on the other side of us busy with their renovations. Phoned the pool shop - already closed. Tried to phone the pool shop again this morning - busy signal. After dropping K at work went into the pool shop to pay outstanding invoice for other work done and mention missing pool cover - oh yes, they took it away as they had ordered the incorrect size and are waiting on a replacement cover - a note or phone call wouldn't have gone amiss I say !!!!!! Very sheepish look from pool man. Huge sigh of relief from Al and I !!!!

K has done extremely well at school this year - proud parents yet again !!! Academic honours and a host of sporting trophies - YAY - we must be doing something right !!!!!

I cannot say that my weight is continuing to creep because I am now in denial and haven't stepped on a scale for a long time. Those of you who know what a scale whore I am will know how serious this is for me. I have hired the treadmill and have used it 3 times this week (in between pulling up pavers after work) - I definitely find it harder work than walking in the street. I generaly walk at around 7kph on the road - am finding it much more difficult to walk at 7kph on the t/mill although walk at that because I don't want to be a wuss who walks on the treadmill slower than she walks on the road !!!! Hopefully once the end of year at school is over, things will settle down and I will have more time to walk.

Went to the markets last weekend and got some more lovely veggies - and bananas. The ones from a month ago were so delicious we couldn't not get any more at $7/kg. There is talk that they will be down to $3/kg by Christmas but I don't know if I can see that happening - not with only 3 weeks to go.

I am so over Christmas and I haven't even done anything apart from order the turkey !!! No present shopping, no thoughts to the tree (although lucky on this one because K LOVES to put up the tree and decorate when she is on holiday), certainly no thought to meals !!!

It was so GREAT to have my folks home from their holiday. While they had a good time away (5 weeks) they said that they were pleased to be home. It is so good to be able to pick up the phone and just chat each day.

As I don't think that I will be posting again before Christmas I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a FANTASTIC CHRISTMAS and EVERYTHING OF THE BEST FOR 2007 !

Take care and travel safely wherever you are, and remember - you are all amazing people who deserve lots of wonderful things.

Where to start ?

2006-11-16T13:24:00.000+10:00

I can't remember when last I posted and I have no idea what it was
about. And, seeing as I can't access blogger from work, I can't even
check !!! So will just bring you up to date (abbreviated version) of
what we have been up to for the past couple of weeks.

Firstly, thank you to all those wonderful people who have sent
messages, e-mails, SMS's and telephone calls – your support has been
fantastic. There are some people whom I haven't had a chance to reply
to as yet but I will get around to you as soon as I can.

Al has been in hospital – twice !!! Once for the operation and then
again for an infection in two pin sites. Unfortunately I was very
lazy while he was there and did nothing to help my cause – Crunchies
and full strength Cokes were my standard meals while visiting at the
hospital. Yes I could have stopped off somewhere and got something
more substantial and definitely more healthy but who could be bothered
at 10.30 – 11at night. I probably also could have made myself
something to eat when I got home, but again, who could be bothered ?
All things considered, Al's leg is doing well – he is hoping to have
the frame off in about 10 weeks time.

Needless to say I have been growing by the day (and I can't even blame
it on being pregnant !!!! At least that had better NOT be the reason
for me growing by the day !!!) – I have now put on just over 10kgs in
the past 3 months – this is not the way it is supposed to happen.
What is supposed to happen is that I lost the weight – got to the
weight that I am happy at and I am supposed to stay there. I realise
that to actually stay at that weight I have to watch what I eat and
seeing as I haven't been doing that I probably can't complain about
the gains I have been having but seriously – why is it so hard ?????
I know that one of the reasons is that I haven't been exercising – I
did look into hiring a treadmill (and I think that I may still do
that) but until now I just haven't got around to it. Thank goodness
my two night fill managers at Coles have been so understanding – I am
due back there now next week. I am just absolutely exhausted – while
I have been tired in the past, I have never felt as I have done the
past couple of weeks – I wouldn't wish this on anyone. One of the
problems is that even though I am so tired, I am battling to sleep.
Some sleeping tablets have helped with that but I still don't wake up
feeling like I have had a good nights sleep – I'm not all woolly
headed like can happen with sleeping tablets sometimes, I just don't
feel rested.

We have the new computer at home and I moved it all into the room and
Al has been setting it all up – I was going to post last night but
then got caught helping with something else and didn't get back onto
the computer before going to bed. It is very nice and so much quicker
than the old one – plus we now have a scanner which is great for
sending photos to friends when we have actual photos and not digital
photos !

Unfortunately the lady who used to clean for us 2 hrs per week has
gone back to a full time job and so isn't able to clean anymore – just
what I needed now - NOT !!! But we have decided that if people want
to worry about how clean our home is when they come to visit – they
are more than welcome to pick up a duster and do it themselves or
alternatively come back another time when I have had a chance to clean
!!!! That is one of the things on the "To Do" list this weekend. The
past weekend was spent at the hospital the whole time except for
Saturday morning when K and I went and had donuts at the Mudgeeraba
markets – and we bought some fruit and veg as well. They had bananas
for $7/kg and they were absolutely beautiful – I think we may have to
go back in 2 weeks time to get more bananas (and of course if we are
there we can't possibly not get donuts as well !!!!). The weekend
before it felt like I spent the whole two days with my bum in the
drivers seat – playing Mom's Taxi for K and Wife's Runaround for Al
!!!!!!

I also have a hair cut booked for this weekend – I think I am going to
go back to short hair. Right now my hair is just making me feel even
more yuck about myself – I think I am too old for long, straight hair
and that it doesn't do anything for me. I may have changed my mind by
Saturday but I doubt it.

A few weeks ago I watched a programme called Shock Docs on Super Binge
Eating – I'm sure that there are many people who saw the show. I was
absolutely amazed at the size of the people they were following – they
ranged in size from 260kg to 320kgs. The smallest guy had actually
weighed 448kgs at his heaviest and he lost 341kgs to get down to
107kgs. He then had an operation to cut away the excess skin and went
down to 89kgs. At this point his dr told him to stop losing weight
but, like me, he was unable to maintain his weight and is now weighing
in at 260kgs. He said that if he puts on another 10kgs, he will be
bed bound. The other two people were bed bound. The heaviest chap
was actually in an obesity hospital – where they provided him with the
correct food every day. But, when they brought something he didn't
like, he proceeded to phone for take away – which was delivered to him
in the obesity hospital !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His wife actually said that
she would often bring him food because it wasn't good for him to get
stressed over the food that was provided if he didn't want to eat it.
This got me to thinking about my situation – while I am not in the
same situation as they are and really only have 10kgs to lose to feel
like a million dollars (well maybe not a million dollars but certainly
able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling ashamed and
wondering how I let myself get this big again) like them I have a
compulsion to eat, even though I know that what I am eating isn't good
for me. Sitting down to a packet of biscuits is not conducive to
losing weight, nor is having chocolates instead of dinner. While I
realise that the last few weeks have been extremely trying and tiring,
Al is at home now and while it isn't all plain sailing and easy going,
it is certainly a lot easier than having to travel to Brisbane for 6-7
hours each night.

Having watched that programme, I don't know if it has been a help or a
hindrance – there have been times when I am buying something to eat or
actually eating chocolates or biscuits or nuts or chips and I have
thought to myself – well it isn't as though I am as big as they are.
I have realised that that really is a dumb way to look at things
because there are enough people at the other end of the spectrum who I
could use for motivation to lose weight – the sad thing is that while
I know that what I am doing isn't helping me, I am unable to stop. I
am eating thinking "I know this isn't right but I'm going to eat it
anyway" – what is with that. It is almost like I want to self
destruct – is that because I feel that this is all getting too much
for me ? Is it because I have just had enough of all this nonsense ?
Or is it just because it is the easy way out – convenience foods which
don't take up any of my time. Since Al has been home this week we
have had meat / chicken and veggies very night (those nice veggies I
bought from the market) but that is only one meal of the day – the
rest of the day my eating is just cr*p.

I need to get my head into the right place and I need to do it SOON !!
I cannot continue like this – I am very unhappy with myself, I hate
the way I look and I can't stand to get out of the shower and see my
reflection in the mirror. I feel so sad when I think back to how I
used to not mind seeing my reflection – in the mirror or the shop
windows. I know that I am responsible for what has happened and I am
certainly not looking to blame anyone else except myself – there was
nobody standing over me with a gun forcing me to eat something I
didn't choose myself.

On to something nice – this week I bought a 4 slice sandwich press on
e-bay ($51 including postage - they retail for about $90 - $100) and I
can't wait to get it so that we can start to make toasted sandwiches,
wraps etc. I love them but NEVER make them because we have an old
fashioned snackwich machine and I absolutely hate cleaning it – it
drives me nuts !!! So am very excited about getting the other machine
– I'm sure that it will be put to good use once it is received !

Hopefully I will be able to blog a little more frequently because that
is one tool which does help me – the support of everyone here is just
fantastic and it certainly helps.

I hope that everyone is tracking along where they would like to be –
take care and look after yourselves !

TFTD : Savour the moments that are warm and special and giggly

TIAGF : The success of Al's operation

What a week

2006-10-24T22:52:00.000+10:00

Just to let you know I am still around - it has been tough but we are getting there. Al is doing as well as can be expected - he was really quite chirpy this morning but when I got to see him after work, he wasn't as up-beat. He did get up and I think that he couldn't settle his leg after that so has had to up the pain relief. I think it is going to be pretty much like this for the next 6 weeks while he gets used to trying to walk with the frame in his leg (which is really quite heavy - certainly a lot heavier than we were expecting it to be) as well as having to deal with the adjustments to the frame when they start to happen next week.

I am totally exhausted after 3 nights of not much sleep, the travelling between Brisbane and here, the waiting around which happened yesterday, the dashing around at work catching up today and just the whole emotional strain that I find myself under. Food has been the least of my priorities - didn't manage to have dinner last night or tonight - maybe I will be able to time it better tomorrow night.

Kathryn - there is a quick drying top coat called Insta-Dri by Sally Hansen - it is an anti-chip top coat and is fantastic for stopping any smudges on your nail polish. I normally wait about 5-10 mins after I have put a second coat of nail polish on and then paint a coat of this on - wait about 10-15 mins and I never have any smudges. You can normally pick this up at Priceless / Big W / KMart / Target - they are generally cheaper than a chemist unless the chemist is having a special.

Take care everyone and have a great week !

What a day !!!

2006-10-18T16:04:00.000+10:00

I am not even going to try to explain about the day I have had today
because it just doesn't bear worth repeating. Suffice to say that 4
Anzac biscuits on top of my normal food didn't help my cause.

It has been a hectic few days with lots of things going on. Nothing
worth mentioning here as it is just the usual family and work stuff.

The exciting news is that we ordered a new computer last night –
hopefully it will be here within a couple of weeks. Having said that,
our PC has been behaving itself since it was revived on Sunday night –
the problem is that I don't have that much confidence that it isn't
going to fall in a heap in the future.

Another good thing is that we have managed to get rid of our old
pavers – YAY !!!!!! The ones which I have already pulled up will be
collected on Saturday and then as soon as the others are done, they
will be collected as well. So no trips to the dump to get rid of them
!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO !!!

The last few days have been so so. I did go for a walk on Monday
night even though all I wanted to do was curl up on my bed and sleep.
I felt much better for having gone. Last night I didn't walk as my
folks came over for a good-bye dinner. I will miss them dreadfully
while they are away but I am sure that they will have a great time
with their family and friends whom they haven't seen for about 20
months.

The scales are continuing to show a downward move which is good. I am
trying really hard most of the time but I have to confess to a few
slips along the way. The good thing is that they are only small slips
and haven't turned into big binges which is what would have happened a
few weeks ago. Even today, I have put the brakes on after the
biscuits and I will compensate by not eating the snacks I brought with
me to work. A visit to the chiro was on the cards for this evening
but after a run around this morning I thought I would cancel it.
Since getting to work I have had a splitting headache and so decided
to go to the chiro appointment and get it sorted out rather than put
it off and find that it gets worse and will take longer to fix up
especially as I won't have much time for chiro appointments in the
next couple of weeks.

I have a hair trim booked for tomorrow night – I am sure that will
also help to make me feel better. My hair is starting to really annoy
me and if I don't do something about it soon, I am going to land up
cutting it really short again and I don't want to do that if I can
help it.

I have started reading a book which I bought for Al a while ago called
"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff – remember, It's All Small Stuff" – what
a great book. I will share some of it with you as I go along - there
are so many great little tips in it. While I think that there are
things which are just not practical for my life style / job – there
are other things which are really good. I have been battling with
some aspects of my job (as you do in a new job) and getting quite
stressed out about it but when I was reading this morning (1am) I
realised that he was right – it really is a lot of small stuff and not
worth getting my knickers in a knot over. Now I know that I won't
have this attitude all the time (because no doubt there will still be
things that stress me out that I can't just say – it's only small
stuff and I am not going to sweat it) but the more I do it, the more
it becomes a habit (just like opening the fridge and taking that
chocolate bar out and breaking a piece off and eating it before I have
even realised I am doing it) and the easier it will be to do.
Practising random acts of kindness is another one – not for any sort
of pay back but just because it will make someone else's day more
pleasant. I suppose if I can work on one or two of the techniques he
talks about at once, I will slowly be able to change my perceptions
and reactions in different situations. It is certainly worth a try
anyway.

Thanks to the people who have replied saying that they had bras to
send me – all donations will be gratefully received and passed on.

Take care everyone and have a great Wednesday !!!!

TFTD : Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to
another, "What ! You too ? Thought I was the only one."

TIAGF : My blogging friends who have made me realise that I am not the
only one battling these demons

The best laid plans ....

2006-10-16T11:41:00.000+10:00

Oh no – that probably isn't the right cliché to start with as that
would mean that I actually had a plan !!! Work wise I had lots of
plans for the weekend – unfortunately my planning skills did not
extend to my food for the weekend which is a pity because it is always
sad when you manage to keep it together during the week only to blow
it on the weekend. The good thing is that I am still showing a loss
for the week of 0.6 – not earth shattering but a downward move which
is at least going the right way.

Friday night dinner went off very well – I finally realised why the
dessert I have made so many times hasn't worked the last couple of
times – it helps if you read the correct quantities before adding the
ingredients. With the marinades on the chicken, the cheese sauce and
hot apple dessert and custard I probably didn't do as well as I could
have on that meal.

Saturday morning saw us up bright and early watching the USA baseball
playoffs when I remembered that the Mudgeeraba markets were on. They
have some good veggies on sale but even better are the donuts that
they sell. I am not a donut person but the donuts there are just
fantastic. I was in two minds about whether to go or not and in the
end decided that we needed some more veggies and so we went. Well we
got there too late to get much in the way of decent veggies and the
donuts were just about all sold out but there were still a few left –
K had a chocolate one, I had a custard one and Al had an apple danish
and then we shared a twisted donut between us. They were just
delicious. If you like donuts and you ever get the chance to go to
these markets – do yourself a favour – DON'T BUY THE DONUTS !!!!!!

This is not the best way to start your day from a food point of view
and it really set me up to have a shocking day. After some other
errands we stopped and got some turkish bread which we had for lunch
with cheese, tomato, lettuce and mayo. After dropping K at work it
was back into the garden and the moving of another +-380 pavers – am I
ever going to get to the end of these damn pavers. I think there are
another 900 – 1000 which have to be moved before they are finally all
out of the way but that will only happen the week before the concreter
arrives. We went off to work with no dinner as we had run out of time
but when we got home I got stuck into the biscuits and then had some
left over dessert before going to bed.

Sunday morning saw us back in the garden this time digging trenches
for the additional drainage points that we now need according to the
guy who will be coming in to do the concreting. So lots of digging
and moving of current drainage pipes plus some weeding and moving of
pavers (about 60) saw me feeling about 100 years old last night.

On top of all of this the computer at home died completely. I was
getting just a little hysterical because all our photos are on there,
e-mal addresses, tax returns, letters to drs etc. Al was on the phone
a couple of times to a friend of ours who is a computer whiz and last
night after collecting K from work we picked up some pizzas (no lunch
eaten yesterday while working in the garden) and went around to their
house last night. Thank goodness he managed to get it re-started.
After sitting with the two computers next to each other he Googled the
messages that were coming up on our machine on his machine and they
managed to work their way through whatever the issues were and get it
up and running again. We got home and Al did whatever it was that was
recommended and then before going to bed he saved all our photos onto
a removable hard drive so at least those are safe for now. I have
said that while he is off he can make that one of his tasks to get
finished – sort out what we need to have on the computer, what can be
deleted and save the rest to the removable hard drive so that if
anything like this happens again, I don't have to get all upset over
what we would have lost if we couldn't revive the PC.

Needless to say with all the work accomplished above, I did not do any
walking – my legs were feeling much better although they are rather
tight today along with my back and arms aching but I know that is just
from the work done yesterday. The front of my legs aren't hurting at
all today so maybe a walk will be in order tonight.

I have a favour to ask – if any of you reading this could mention the
Bras for Breast Cancer promotion and either point people to my site so
that they can contact me if they have any bras they would like to
donate or ask them to e-mail me – that way more people will be reached
and more money can be raised. Thanks.

TFTD : Man can live for about forty days without food, about three
days without water, about eight minutes with air but only for one
second without hope.

TIAGF : No rain while we have had no facia boards.

TGIF

2006-10-13T15:50:00.000+10:00

Thank goodness it's Friday is all I can say ! Last night I went
shopping after work for the dinner we are having tonight for friends.
After we got home I unpacked the groceries and then got changed and
went for a walk.

There are times when I am pleased that I don't take my mobile when I
go walking but last night wasn't one of them. My shins were sore from
my walk the previous night and after about 5 mins I wondered what I
was doing. I kept on telling myself "Just to the next road" but of
course the problem is that as far as you walk one way, you have to
walk the same distance back again. I got to where I had turned the
night before and thought "If only I had my phone with me I would ring
Al and ask him to pick me up" – it's my own fault because he asked me
if I was talking my phone before I left and I said no because they
were both home and knew where I was going. The front of my legs were
so sore – actually they are still sore having just walked down and
back to the oval (twice) to catch some of K's softball game !!! I
couldn't make up my mind if I was doing myself more damage by walking
when they were sore or if I would actually help them to stop being
sore. Al said maybe there was some muscle fatigue because I haven't
done any exercise for a while so I will go along with that but if it
doesn't improve I will have to see what else it could be. K (with her
wealth of medical knowledge) said maybe it was shin splints ! Will
wait and see who is right.

I have had the most dreadful headache since about 10.30 last night.
Thank goodness is seems to have eased a little this afternoon as we
are having friends over for dinner tonight and I didn't want to have
to cancel seeing as my fridge is full of food. Luckily I got most of
the preparation done last night after I got home from walking so it
will just be a matter of cooking the veggies and cheese sauce and
making dessert. Al will cook the meat and chicken on the Weber and I
am sure we will have a great evening. It is ages since we have caught
up with some of these friends so there will be lots to catch up on.
It really is a shame at how busy our lives seem to be that so much
time passes between seeing friends. But, be that as it may, we will
be seeing them tonight and will be able to have a good catch up
session.

We have a busy weekend ahead of us with lots of work in the garden.
Having only 2 weekends to get at least 4 weekends worth of work done
means that we won't be doing much playing !!! Next weekend is the
Leukaemia Foundation World's Greatest Grill – how quickly has that
come around – but it will be good as it will give Al a chance to catch
up with a lot of people before he goes into hospital.

Take care everyone and I hope you have a great weekend !

TFTD : Don't wait for something big to occur. Start where you are,
with what you have, and that will always lead you into something
greater.

TIAGF : It being Friday

YAY - I did it !!!

2006-10-12T13:41:00.000+10:00

Yes – I did it – I went walking last night. I thought that I was
going to get an early start to the evening but after school sport and
some other issues, I only got home at 5.50pm. I walked inside and
thought "I really can't be bothered going for a walk" but then a few
minutes later I remembered that I would have to come here and say "I
didn't walk last night" and I knew that I had to just get changed and
get out there. It was only for 35 minutes but I did it – I got
changed and I went walking. This is one of the reasons why blogging
works for me – it is the accountability that makes the difference. I
have to say that my shins are a little sore today but I suppose that
is to be expected when you start exercising after not doing anything
for so long.

M, I saw your comment last night re the recycling and I just cracked
up all over again !!! There were quite a few times last night at work
that I looked at my rubbish trolley (with the flattened boxes in them)
and either had a chuckle or smiled to myself – please thank M again
from me !!!!!!

I did manage to get onto the internet from home last night and saw
that the formatting on my blog isn't quite right but I'm not sure how
I can change that with posting via e-mail. If anything looks really
awful, please would you drop me a mail as I don't normally go onto my
blog to look at it.

My food today has been good except I did have a Tim Tam this morning –
maybe I should have said no thank you but I felt that if I am getting
my knickers in a knot over having one Tim Tam, life really isn't worth
much. I am trying to take the 'it is all about moderation' stance and
figure that one Tim Tam falls into that category. I was very pleased
with myself because the 1 didn't turn into 2, 3 or 4 which it could
quite easily have done (and probably would have done last week).

I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to take some time
but that I will get there in the end. I was very pleased to see a
downward movement in the scales yesterday morning – given that they
haven't moved anywhere for the past two weeks, I can now see that the
small changes I have been making must be making a difference.

Will let you know tomorrow how the rest of today went – take care,
look after yourselves and be good !

TFTD : Friendship is the wine of life

TIAGF : Things that make me laugh

Bras for Cancer

2006-10-11T15:41:00.000+10:00

In October each year, Gold FM Radio Station (92.5) have a Bras for
Cancer appeal. Conrad Jupiter donate $1 for each bra collected to the
Breast Cancer Association.

If there is anyone who has bras they are no longer using - whether
they be too big, too small, out of shape or just no longer usable - and you are interested in donating them to this really good cause - please would you e-mail me and I will send you the address where you can send them to.

Thank you in advance for your generosity.

Another day, another dollar

2006-10-11T14:03:00.000+10:00

Last night I did make it to pilates and I did manage to get home from
work in time to jog part of the way and walk the rest of the way to
class. Jeez – I'm so unfit. I ran up the two flights of stairs
(because it was close to starting time) and by the time I got to the
top flight I was definitely breathing a lot harder than I used to. Oh
well – at least it is a start and I can't ask more of myself than
that. I have planned a walk this evening – there are left overs from
last night for dinner so won't have to do anything for that. I just
need to get home, get changed and get out there.

We had some rain this morning but I am hoping that the house is still
OK – will find out when we get home tonight.

Other than that – there is not much in the way of news. My food
yesterday was so so – it could have been better but given the past
couple of months, it could have been heaps worse as well. As I have
my lunch and snacks with me and I have no trips to Coles planned at
lunch time, I expect that my food intake for the day will be a lot
better than yesterday !!

Work is coming along fine – probably a little slower than I would like
but I am getting there. It was lovely during the holidays – casual
dress every day. I love being able to come to work in casual dress.
The children came back on Monday and it was like everyone had had red
cordial to drink – they were all running around like loonies. It is
the wind – whenever it is windy or raining, the children all seem to
go wild – it is just amazing. The first day it happened I commented
on the noise levels in the playground and the ladies I work with said
that it is always like that when it is windy or raining.

Take care everyone and have a great week !

TFTD : Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.

TIAGF : My health

Thank You !

2006-10-10T12:41:00.000+10:00

A big thank you to everyone for your welcome back comments and e-mails
- I have to be honest and say that I didn't think that anyone would
have missed me so I was very touched to see that I was missed.

Well last night was not quite the night that I had planned. I didn't
get to walk but I did manage to go shopping so that I have lots of
point friendly snacks to bring with me to work. I thought that was
more important as the snack machine and Coles over the road have been
supplying my mid-morning or mid-afternoon snacks and I knew that I had
to stop those if I was to have any hope of losing these dreaded kilos
I have put on. Plus, I have to say that the weather was just
atrocious last night with dreadful winds blowing. Now I know that I
wouldn't have got blown away (not with these extra kilos I am carrying
anyway) but having been awake since 2am wondering if our roof was
going to blow off due to the renovations we are in the middle of doing
I felt I had every right to flop onto the bean bag after dinner and
wait for work time to come around.

While at work last night I was thinking about Oprah and her yo-yo
dieting and it got me to wonder how I would do if I had a personal
chef and a personal trainer working with me – every day and every
meal. Would I still do the secret eating thing if I knew that someone
was preparing me point friendly meals and snacks each day ? I do know
that if I had a PT kicking my butt and encouraging me along the way I
would be more inclined to exercise because I am, at heart, a lazy
person who would really prefer to sit and read a book than go out and
exercise.

I have my pilates class tonight but if I get home from work in time I
am going to walk / jog there so that will be a bit of exercise for the
day. Then I really need to get my act together to have something to
do most days after work. I guess part of me doesn't really want to
get into any exercise regime as such because I know that in a couple
of weeks time it is all going to go to pot when Al is in hospital and
I am trying to see him, work, get K organised for school as well as
getting her up to Brisbane to see her Dad. Actually, I think that is
also part of why I have let things slide as far as they have – no
excuse, I know, but a fact none the less. I felt as though I would be
wasting my time trying to get back on track and worry about what I am
putting in my mouth when I knew that for the first couple of weeks
after his operation, it is just going to be really difficult for me to
hold it all together. I think that this week I have realised that,
while it may turn to sh*t in a few weeks time, that doesn't stop me
from doing what I can between now and then to try to minimise any
additional gains.

It is really strange but all the weight I have put in on is all
between my waist and my thighs – I wish it would spread itself out a
little bit more evenly over the rest of my body.

TFTD : A friend is one who walks in when others walk out

TIAGF : Our roof not blowing off the house

Because Enough is Enough

2006-10-09T14:37:00.000+10:00

Forgive me fellow dieters for I have been a naughty girl - it has been far too long since I last posted, tracked, exercised or went to WW.

But, as the drink driving ad says "Because enough is enough" and I have to do something about turning this horrible upward trend around. I have had to go up two pants sizes and I just cannot continue in this vein. My 500g packet of liquorice and a packet of biscuits every second day are not conducive to any sort of maintenance programme ! I hate what I am doing to myself but I have not been able to do anything about it - whether it was because I didn't want to or I couldn't or I just didn't like myself enough to want to have to bother, I don't know - but what I do know is that it has to stop - right here and right now. That is not to say that I won't have cr*ppy days. I'm sure that I will have those along the way, just as I am sure that there will be days when I feel like I can take on the world and other days when I feel that the whole world has it in for me BUT I do want to change this around and I commit to doing the best that I can.

It has been far to long between walks - my chiro spoke sternly to me of the need for me to be walking. I don't think I have walked since I did the City 2 Surf. I am trying not to make a whole range of changes at once as I don't want to be over-whelmed by what I have to do and, as there are quite a few other things happening in my life at the moment, I don't want to make the challenge too hard so that I feel a failure when I don't make it.

I do feel like I need to be accountable to someone which is why I am going to start blogging again. I have found out how to blog via e-mail which will make it easier for me to post but it doesn't help me in terms of reading other blogs. I do try to read some on the weekend but our computer is really not playing the game and so I land up being very frustrated at the end of an hour on the computer hence I don't read as many or as often as I would like. I know that I am a lot more careful about what I do and what I eat when I know that I am going to come on here and confess to my wrong-doings !!!!! I have realised that just stopping the junk food isn't enough, I have to start counting points and getting that exercise happening. I may take it one step at a time - get the exercise happening and then re-introduce the point counting at a later stage. As you may recall, Al has to have a rather big operation on his leg - that is happening in a couple of weeks time so I don't want to set myself goals which I know I won't be able to keep in a few weeks time - for a few weeks duration. So if I can start with the walking, I will be happy.

A friend has offered to walk with me a few afternoons after work so as soon as her husband goes back to work, I will see what I can do to meet up with her. I know that if I have to meet someone to walk with, I am more inclined to go walking than if it is just by myself and for no reason other than I need to exercise. I like to have a purpose to my exercise and, unfortunately, getting fit and losing weight isn't really enough of a purpose to motivate me.

Take care and have a great week everyone !!

TFTD : A friend can tell you thing you don't want to tell yourself.

TIAGF : My friends who have cared about me enough to keep in contact while I have been out of contact - thank you all - your support is truly appreciated.

This just might work

2006-10-06T21:58:00.000+10:00

After a frustrating amount of time, I think I might have got this working so that it will post to my blog when I send the e-mail.

This may be what I need to get back on track and get my butt moving again.

Have a great weekend everyone !

Testing

2006-10-06T21:30:00.000+10:00

Just testing to see if I can post here via e-mail.

Good-bye and good luck

2006-08-27T19:52:00.000+10:00

Where to start – I don’t know when last I posted and I can’t even check as blogspot sites have been blocked by the company. So, while I wait for Kaitlin to finish her baby-sitting module for tonight I thought I would try to get a post going that I could load sometime when I am at home and the PC is actually working. The lack of a working computer at home is giving me grey hairs – I really feel quite cut off from my blogging friends.

I am glad that I made the decision not to blog from my new job (made easier by the fact that I can’t access any blogspot journals) because even if I could access them, I wouldn’t have had a chance. It has been go go go since I started here a month ago and I am battling to catch my breath during the day never mind anything else. It is certainly a HUGE learning curve for me – there are some issues I am responsible for that I haven’t looked at since I studied them about 15 years ago and I am getting quite a few headaches trying to work out how they do things and what I need to do. The lady before me was a great believer in the ‘paperless’ office and so there is no paper trail to try to follow for anything. But, I knew it was going to be a challenge and I need to remember to cut myself some slack in this regard.

I had a great time in Sydney – worked my time in to get the afternoon off for the CHEAP flight I had booked before I started this job. Arrived safe and sound and was met by the lovely M. We got to her home and had a quiet evening chatting in between blowing up I can’t remember how many balloons for the party on Saturday. M’s in-laws arrived to spend the weekend as well. I took myself off on Saturday morning (the thought of 16 children under the age of 5 did not really appeal and while D and O are lovely children – I don’t’ know if I could have handled many more at one time !) and spent a wonderful day with Mary and Daniel who very kindly met and entertained me. We went to the Paddington and Glebe markets and had a great time wandering around browsing through the stalls. We made some great purchases and found that we have quite similar tastes in jewellery (which I found rather strange given how different we are). I saw some lovely earrings which I was very tempted to buy but in the end didn’t because I thought that they were a little too dainty for me. I managed to get into and out of town on the train without getting myself lost so that was good. In the afternoon I timed my entry back home very well and got there just as the cleaning up was nearly finished – I did get to wash some dishes so didn’t feel too awful about not being there the rest of the day !

After a bit of a sit down it was time to get ready to go to Circular Quay for the bloggers dinner. Mary really did a great job organising the evening.

3 days later ……
I can finally get back to finishing this post and hopefully getting it onto blogspot.

Thank you Mary for the fantastic effort you put into organising the dinner – the setting was great and the people were wonderful. It was so good to finally meet some people whom I feel I have been friends with for ages and also to get to meet people I had only recently ‘met’ on the internet.

Due to a lot of factors in my life at the moment, this post (as the title says) is also to say good-bye – not forever but just until things have slowed down a little and I am back on track. I feel dreadful about not being able to catch up on blogs and I am not patient enough to sit at home for hours on end waiting for our nearly dead computer to load sites and allow me to (or maybe not !) comment.

I would like to wish you all the very best as you continue along your journey –whether it be weight-loss, motherhood, career or just being yourself. Remember to be good to yourself and to love yourself – because you are all worth it. Thank you for the support you have given me over the past 18 months – I know that I wouldn’t have got to goal without it. I am only an e-mail away if anyone wants to chat or wants some advice and I am more than happy to help you if at all possible.

Take care and be good !

3 days later ......
Finally, I have managed to get the PC up and running to allow me to post this entry !!!

Quick post

2006-07-27T20:23:00.000+10:00

Just thought I would post a short entry to let you know that I am doing well this week. I got back on track on Monday and have been under points (on the Wendy plan) every day since. My food groups may not have been the best but I have eaten more veggies and planned my dinners so that I didn’t get home and get caught with the “What are we going to have for dinner tonight ?” dilemma.

I have been for one really good walk on Monday night - Al cycled alongside me for part of the way - then cycled off, came back and cycled all the way home with me. With Al cycling next to me I was able to see that I was walking at approximately 7kph and the sections that I ran, I was running at about 10kph. Tuesday saw me have a great pilates class. Last night it was off to chiro (not happy with my back in it’s current state so have to go back next week) and tonight we had parent / teacher interviews at school. It was good to hear that her teachers are all VERY happy with her and wish they had more kids like her to teach. While we knew that she had done well having achieved academic honours for the first semester, it is always good to hear that the teachers are happy with her performance as well. The teacher who took her on Outward Bound (and teaches her maths as well) couldn’t speak highly enough of her. So we both felt very proud to be her parents and I realise that, while there are times when I question my parenting skills, I have to think that I can’t be doing too bad a job !!!

My new job is going well - a little over whelming - but I think that is to be expected in a new job. I am sure that once I have mastered the financial package and the management account package that they use, it will be great.

We have been out to dinner once this week and are going out to friends on Saturday night - I will do the best that I can while I am there and make the best choices that I can when I have to. The scale is showing me a really nice number and this has been very motivating for me to continue to make good choices - even down to eating some dried dates when we got together for morning tea on Tuesday !!!! My water drinking hasn’t happened yet but I figure that if I work on one thing at a time I am more likely to succeed !!!!

Take care everyone and have a great week. I will try to get around to reading some blogs on the weekend.

Where has the time gone to ?

2006-07-22T23:35:00.000+10:00

I can’t believe that it is over two weeks since I posted - where has the time gone to ??????

Get a cup of coffee and sit down if you would like to catch up on what I have been up to.

The last week of work was absolutely hectic - I can’t believe that they waited until my last day before deciding that I should show our business analyst (who has no financial back-ground whatsoever) what I do (like I could teach him much in one day anyway !!!) It was frustrating as he could have sat with me for 4 weeks prior to that and have been a lot more capable than he was when I left him. They had a lovely morning tea to say farewell and gave me a huge bunch of flowers, a photo frame with a comical picture of all the people in my department and a voucher for Anaconda - all in all I was very spoilt but I have to say that I was pleased to finish up there. The ladies in my department were not so happy and have phoned to see how my new job is going and whether I would like to come back !!!!!

Last Saturday we said goodbye to our little baby who was off on an Outward Bound adventure for 9 days. I have wondered so many times during these past 9 days as to how she is going. I am sure that she is having a ball during the days as she really is game for most things that are happening but I think she would battle a little at night when she is cold. They were going out to the Kyogle area (northern NSW) but she is due home tomorrow at lunch time and we are all really looking forward to having her home again. I am sure that she will be a lot more appreciative of what she has after not having running water and electricity and having to carry everything and take turns cooking for the 9 days !!!

Saturday and Sunday saw me vegging out catching up on some TV programmes I had taped and just trying to unwind a little - we were both really exhausted for some unknown reason as we hadn’t really done anything different during the week. Saturday night we went to some friends to watch the rugby game between Australia and South Africa - needless to say I was very happy that we whipped their butts but I was definitely in the minority !!!

Monday was my last day at work and that seemed to rush past in such a blur - I was exhausted when I finally left there at about 5.30. Got home and neither of us felt like cooking so we went to one of the local taverns with my folks and had a great evening - Al and I shared a chicken parmigana and calamari. The calamari was some of the best I have ever had. For dessert I had sticky date pudding which was just delicious !!!

Tuesday saw me have a short lie in before I was off for a massage which was just what I needed. I really should make the effort to go more often because I feel so good afterwards. Then I went and helped my folks fold the local newspaper before they went off to deliver them and I took myself off to the local shopping centre where I was walking past the beauty salon and thought “I’m going to see if they have a free appointment for a deep cleanse - if they have, I’ll take it and if not, I’m not meant to have it.” Well I had to wait about 10 minutes (I could live with that) before she could take me - again, this is something that I should try to have more often. My eating on Tuesday could have been better - stopped off at the bakery around the corner from where I used to work for an apple muffin as I had to go into Southport to buy a part for the washing machine (why is it that Al waited until I wasn’t working near Southport any longer before asking me to get the spare part for the machine ?????) Can’t remember what I had for lunch but got home and watched Grey’s from the night before. Al got home and we didn’t feel like left overs from the weekend so we got some Thai from a local restaurant.

Wednesday saw me start my new job (sans my child who was very upset that she wasn’t going to be able to come to school with me on my first day and wanted to know if I would be alright without her !!) - what a lovely group of people I now work with. I was made to feel so welcome - I was just amazed at how friendly everyone was. I have made the decision not to load bloglines or access any blogs or gmail from work so if you want to contact me, I am happy to give you my work e-mail address - just mail me on g-mail and I will give you my work address. This will obviously mean that I will be blogging less as I don’t have that much time at home to blog plus we are having umpteen problems with our home PC which I would like to replace but until we have the outside renovations completed, that isn’t going to happen. I will still be around - just maybe not as frequently as I used to be. Once we got home from work I did manage to get out for a 45 minute walk but then when I got home, neither of us could be bothered with the leftovers so Wednesday night saw us going out for pizzas. (Do you see a tragic pattern beginning to form ??)

Thursday evening I went and did another 45 minute hill walk - well it was a couple of hills which I went up and down. I want to try to take some photos of the one really big hill but I don’t know if they will come out as you can’t see the top of the hill from the bottom !!!! It took me just over 8 minutes to walk up it - boy was I pleased to see the downhill on the other side. We finally got around to eating the leftovers on Thursday night - plus some chips which we had bought on the way home !!!!!

Friday I woke up and Al had my presents all wrapped and waiting for me to open. My folks were going to pop over but didn’t as it was a little fresh and they were still in bed !!!! I had a lovely day at work with the admin and accounts department throwing a morning tea for me - and they all sang Happy Birthday just for good measure !!!! I had lots of phone calls and e-mails - it was just amazing. Al sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers to work - made all the more lovely because they were totally unexpected. We had made plans to go to dinner with my folks and, when I look back now, I can see a few tell tale signs of what was going on but at the time, I had no idea. We got to this lovely little Malaysian restaurant and as we walked in I saw some friends and then turned and there were another couple of friends and another couple of friends - Al had organised a surprise birthday dinner for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just fantastic and I was so spoilt with another two bouquets of flowers and lots of nice smellies plus a beautiful photo frame which, as soon as I can get some decent photos of K and Al, will be going in my new office. What an amazing day I had - I can’t believe that it was a year ago I was celebrating my 40th - what made it better was I got to share it with Al this year. Unfortunately, K couldn’t share it with me but I have kept her present and will open it tomorrow when she gets home.

This morning we woke up early (why is it that when you have the chance to have a sleep in your body says “No - there is no sleep in this morning. You are wasting precious time - get up and do something !!!!” ???) We went to the Mudgeeraba farmers markets and got some lovely veggies. Unfortunately we also went into the little hall area where all the freshly baked goodies were - breakfast turned out to be a nut danish and a don-nut - they were absolutely delicious !!!!!! Then onto some friends where I had a piece of freshly baked chocolate cake (because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying no thank you - Al was happy to say no though !) We were going to go for a cycle during the day but the weather turned nasty and so we landed up taking the car - maybe tomorrow if the weather holds although it is still raining as I am typing this so who knows. Lunch turned out to be biscuits and the dips we had bought this morning and dinner was soup with the lovely crusty bread we had also bought this morning !!!! Then, to make things worse, I had to pack chocolates and lollies for 2 hours tonight - that was absolute torture !!!!!! I would have given my right arm for some chocolate when we got home only to find that there was none to be found in the house - or the garage - nothing, nada, zilch - absolutely bugger all chocolate in the house !!!!!!!!!! How did that happen - there is ALWAYS chocolate in our house !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway a soak in the bath and a Coke Zero had to satisfy me.

Well, if you have read all this you definitely deserve a medal. This has been very good for me because it has shown me how far out of control I have let things go - how much I have lost the plot and how much I am going to have to do so that my work pants will feel a little more comfortable than what they feel at the moment. The next step is to take the bigger pants I had put in the cupboard out to wear and I REALLY don’t want to have to do that. Why is it that it is so easy to let things get out of control rather than be in control ? Why is it that it is so hard to lose weight but so easy to put it back on again ? Why is it that I can’t seem to get back on track when I was doing so well a few months ago ? I guess if I knew the answers to any of those I would be able to help a lot of people and make myself a lot of money. Sadly, I will have to continue to ask these questions of myself and try to work out some sort of answer - as well as some way to counteract the downward spiral that I feel myself in right now. It is almost as if I don’t care what I put in my mouth and what it is doing to me - I feel like I am in self-destruct mode and I don’t like feeling like this. I like how I felt when I was in control - when I cared about what I ate and what I put into my mouth - when I made the healthy choices because I wanted to. I know that tomorrow is another day and I have to take a long hard look at myself and where I am heading. I have to change that around so that I head in the opposite direction because I am dreadfully unhappy going the way that I am going.

I hope that everyone has a great Sunday and that the week ahead brings you all that you wish for. Take care and be good !!

Thoughts and prayers

2006-07-17T09:56:00.000+10:00

My thoughts and prayers go to Emily and Jonny at this difficult time.

We are all here for you when you need us.

My "C" words - finally !!!

2006-07-09T21:03:00.000+10:00

I don’t know how long ago I got my letter from M. I haven’t done anything about them for a few reasons - I forgot, I couldn’t find the time, I couldn’t think of any and then I realised that unless I made the time I was NEVER going to get them done - and here they are !!

Chocolate - I know that this may not be the most appropriate word for a weight-loss / maintenance blog but it is something that I LOVE so much I had to use it first up. I can eat chocolate at any time of the day or night - I know people who say “Oh no, I can’t have any chocolate, it isn’t after lunch time.” I have never been able to understand this - I can eat chocolate at 6am, 10am, 12 noon, 2om, 6pm, 11pm, 3am - I really can eat it 24 hours a day. I have learnt to only eat ‘good’ chocolate - I would rather spend more on a good quality chocolate than buy some cheap chocolate which tastes awful. The more smooth the chocolate is and the longer it takes to dissolve in my mouth - the better it is.

Challenge - this is a word which, when mentioned in the same sentence as “This job is” - is enough to whet my appetite for the position the person is talking about. I love challenges and I love the feeling that comes with meeting those challenges. I love a challenging job and I love the challenge of setting myself goals to achieve - like the C2S - sometimes I don’t give myself a lot of time to achieve them, but I like the fact that I have a goal to work towards and giving it my all.

Casual - this is me - casual as casual can be. My ideal job would be one where I could go to work in jeans !! My home is very casual - we love to entertain casually with BBQ’s and being outside. While I enjoy the formal sit down dinner parties occasionally, I do prefer the outdoor, casual way of life.

Compliments - I love it when people compliment me on what I have achieved. I am getting a lot better at accepting compliments rather than just brushing comments off as nothing. I think too often I forget how far I have come and when someone comments on it, it is good to remember what I have achieved and thank them for acknowledging my accomplishment.

Committed - when I look back to when I started this journey (for the last time), I realised that the difference this time is that I was totally committed to making this the last time I had to lose those kilos. I have been committed to maintaining my weight and, while I have not maintained at my lowest weight, I have maintained at a weight which allows me to still wear my size 10 jeans. Something I would never have thought possible 18 months ago given how many times I have got to goal, only to find that I put on all the weight I lost plus more.

Cookies (biscuits) / cakes - these along with chocolate are my down fall. I would rather eat a packet of biscuits than a good healthy meal. In fact, I have eaten a packet of biscuits as my meal (on more than one occasion) ! I know that this is sad, but then anyone with a weight problem will be able to understand how it can happen and what it feels like.

Chatterbox - I love to talk. Some people may find this a rather strange word to describe me because it is only true with people whom I know and am comfortable with. I am actually quite shy until I get to know someone but once I know you, make sure you can put your hand up to interrupt otherwise you won’t get a word in edgeways !!!!

Courage - I never used to think of myself as courageous but after having walked up mountains even though I am terrified of heights, killed large spiders even though I am terrified of spiders and flown in planes even though I always wonder if the plane will crash - I figure I can consider myself courageous. What I hadn’t thought was courageous was starting a blog until I realised just how much of myself I put into my blog. It takes courage to admit that I am a secret eater, that I keep stuffing up but that I keep on trying, that I never used to like what I looked like but that I now love my new body - while it isn’t perfect, it is right for me. Yes, it could be better but at what cost to some other part of my life and so I have learnt to love what I have.

Curvaceous - I think that would be a good word to describe my body - it is not the sylph like figure which I would like but that is because I am not 100% committed to weight-loss right now - and I can live with that. I would love to have the perky breasts that I used to have but, unless we win the Lotto and I can have a breast reduction, I am stuck with what I have and will have to rely on underwear to minimise them as much as possible.

Create - while I am not very creative in terms of making something out of not much - I do love doing things like calligraphy, cross-stitch, crocheting, making cards (those were the ‘c’ words I could come up with) as well as knitting, embroidery and patch working / quilting. I wish I had more time to do the things which I enjoy.

What a great exercise this has been for me - thanks M ! I was suprised at the number of C words I did come up with and then I had to narrow them down to only 10 !!!!!

65, 67, 64

2006-07-07T16:51:00.000+10:00

No – those aren’t my measurements - they are my times for walking home 3 times this week !!!!! The second one was actually less walking time than the first but I managed to get held up by every traffic light that I had to cross to get home. The day before, while I had walked the same way, I managed to scamper across the road (sometimes against the lights if there were no cars around) but I certainly didn’t have to wait the 3-4 minutes all up that I would have waited around on Wednesday. Yesterday I wised up and walked on the other side of the road where there are less cars turning. The only thing to hold me up were the lost (South African) tourists who were wanting directions but I ran the last 600m home to try to make up for the lost time !!

The good thing was I had my ipod, a sports drink and my sports bra on (as well as my normal walking clothes in case you were wondering if that was all I was wearing !!) so all was well in Linda’s walking world. An added bonus was Al took a drive and met me about 2kms away from work and took my bag home so I was free to walk without the 10 ton pack on my back.

My eating has got slightly better – K met me for lunch today as she wasn’t working and I was going to have a toasted sandwich but she wanted sushi so I had that instead – a much better option for me although the apple muffin afterwards wasn’t that good a choice !! Tonight we are going to see friends of ours whom we haven’t seen for ages so it will be good to catch up with them – double bonus because I don’t have to (a) think of what to cook for dinner and (b) don’t have to cook dinner !!!!

Tomorrow I will get more walking done while K is at softball training and then on Sunday it will either be a cycle or another walk during the day in between jack hammering the foundations which we were originally going to leave until Al had a think about it and realised that we would have to get rid of them as they have to core through for the new pipes and the old foundations will be in the way.

What a great game on Wednesday night - I really didn't think we had enough in the tank to come back from 14-4 down with 8 minutes left but they pulled it out from somewhere - GO YOU BEAUTIES !!!! This has meant a really long couple of days for me as we only got to bed at about 2.30am on Thursday (I was still awake at 3.15) and the days have been reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly long since then. I am sure I am going to sleep like a log one night soon - with the extra late night on Wendesday plus the walking which I am not used to - you would think it would catch up with me sometime.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

TFTD : Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but look what they can do when they stick together.

TIAGF : Not having to cook tonight

Oink, oink

2006-07-05T14:31:00.000+10:00

That is how I feel – like little (?) Miss Piggy. Why is it that I am either 100% on track or totally off the rails – there is no in between. Well I guess there is an in between – I just don’t know how to find it. It is either all or nothing, feast or famine – uurrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!! This is so annoying.

I know it shouldn’t be this hard. I know what I need to do. I know where I want to be. But, I can’t seem to get my head into the right space to get there. I wake up every morning saying “Today is the day. I’m going to take my food to work. I’m going to eat the food I have taken in. I am going to be satisfied with that because it is enough food to keep me from being hungry.” But, I don’t. I take my food in and then I look at it and say “I don’t want to eat this – what else can I have ?” It is too easy to go and buy other things to eat – sometimes I eat my lunch and then buy something else anyway. Why ? Just because – no particular reason except that I like the taste of food. Will this be better at my new job ? Will there be less temptation there ? I hope so because this is getting out of hand (once again !! Bloody hell – you wouldn’t think it would always be this hard.)

I got a lift to work this morning again so I will be doing the walk home again tonight – I have my ipod, I have my sports bra and I have a bottle of Gatorade to keep me going until I get home. Unfortunately my legs don’t feel quite as fresh as they did on Monday night but that is not going to stop me from getting home – it may just mean that my time won’t be quite as good as Monday. But, for now, the aim is to get the kms under the belt without my times getting too far off each time.

And, it wouldn’t be origin day if I didn’t finish with
GO THE MAROONS !!!!

As usual, we will be watching the first half before work and then taping it and watching it when we get home at 1am. Here’s hoping that it is a good game – no matter who wins although obviously it would be better if we won !!!!

TFTD : On the road between the homes of friends, grass does not grow.

TIAGF : The support of my blogging friends

Take care everyone and have a great day !

I did it !

2006-07-04T11:24:00.000+10:00

7.3kms in 65 minutes – now I know that isn’t the best time that anyone has ever had but I am very proud of what I did – not only did I manage to get home, but I got home in what I thought was a reasonable time. What I have to keep telling myself is that my 65mins for 7.3kms really doesn’t count for too much seeing as it was walked along the northern Gold Coast which (apart from Holland and maybe the road between Van Reenen and Villiers) is the flattest you will ever come across BUT there is nothing I can do about that so I will work on improving my time.

Note to self : remember to change into a sports bra when walking home. It wasn’t bad for the first 5kms. Then Al drove past, after having taken K to a work dinner, to see how I was going and by that stage my bag felt like it weighed about 10 tons (which it didn’t). He stopped to ask me how I was going and if I wanted a lift but I was going really well so just asked him to take my bag and checked if he had anything to drink – I was soooooooooooo thirsty and a little hungry. He didn’t have anything to drink but took my bag. The last bit home from there was absolute heaven and hell – heaven because I didn’t have my bag but hell because my normal bra is DEFINITELY not suitable to walk in – especially when I don’t have my bag strapped across the front of my chest acting as a sort of "wear on the outside sports bra" !!!!! A lesson well learned and to be remembered for future walks home from work. My plan is to walk home at least 3 nights a week for the last 2 weeks that I am here.

I won’t be walking tonight as I have pilates at 6pm but will be packing my clothes for tomorrow night. I must remember to pack my ipod as well as it was a little boring just walking home with nothing to do except look at peoples houses and the cars driving past.

My dinner last night probably counter-acted the benefit of the walk – we had to pick up K from her work dinner and were going to go out ourselves – except her work dinner didn’t last as long as we thought so we landed up having burger and chips from Big Chief. While they are a fast food outlet – they don’t taste anything like McDonald’s burger or KFC.

I am starting to second guess my decision to leave here – most of the time I know I have made the right decision but every now and again and play the “I wonder” game with myself. I need to focus on getting all issues resolved in my current job before I leave and look forward to the challenge of my new position. It is going to be great finishing work at 4pm – I have made a pact with myself that at least 3 afternoons a week I will exercise as soon as I get home from work. If I have shopping to do, I will go home, do my exercise and then go and do the shopping and the cooking. Well that is my plan – if it doesn’t happen and someone notices it, please give me the talking to that I need !!!

TFTD : Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.

TIAGF : Sore legs that tell me I have done more than I normally do

Update – just had a phone call from the HR lady at my new job to make sure I had received all their paperwork and to check if I had any questions. She is also South African and sounded like she would be very nice to work with.

Finally I'm getting organised

2006-07-03T12:15:00.000+10:00

I can’t believe that it is nearly a week since I posted – where has the time gone to ????? Where has the year gone to – it is July already (and only 18 sleeps to my birthday !) ????????? What a great weekend we had – we walked for 1 ½ hours on Saturday morning while K was at softball training and then yesterday managed a 20km cycle during the day once it had warmed up a little !!!! YAY !

Al also had a great idea – he would drop me off at work in the morning and I could walk home !!!! I had been saying to him while we were walking that most days I have my clothes to go walking at lunch time but there is always a reason (be it valid or not) about why I can’t walk at lunch time – too cold, too hot, can’t be bothered, have errands to run etc. That was when he came up with this idea of dropping me at work and then I would have to walk home as I don’t want to spend the night here !!!! I didn’t think it was a very good idea to start with but the more I mulled it over, the more I thought that it might work. So, packed my bag this morning and here I am – waiting for 5pm to get changed and then get walking. I am not too sure of the distance (we forgot to measure when we came in this morning but probably about 7 - 7.5kms) and I have no idea of how long it will take me (I am hoping to take just over an hour) so will see how I go.

Other than that – things are going along pretty smoothly. I am managing to get lots of things sorted out at work so I won’t be leaving any sort of mess for someone to walk into. While I always see that as a challenge, not everyone has the same take on walking into a mess !!!

TFTD :Friendship isn’t a big thing – it is a million little things.

TIAGF : Walking after work.

Another day

2006-06-27T12:53:00.000+10:00

As M posted yesterday – when the scales are showing me nice numbers, the choices I make tend to change from when they are showing me a number that I don’t want to see. Last week that is exactly what happened – the numbers were looking good and so the extra bits and pieces found their way into my mouth and now the numbers are looking shocking again !!!! Why do I continue to do this to myself ???? I know if I eat cr*p, I feel like cr*p and yet I continue to put my poor body through this. Is it just that there are some lessons that I will never learn or is it because my clothes still fit me that I think I can get away with it ? Only to be rudely awakened by the scale showing me that I can’t get away with it ?

Anyway, that has happened and I need to move on. This hasn’t helped me achieve my goal of losing weight for the few functions coming up but I guess it doesn’t have to stop me from getting back up and trying (yet again !) to get these few kilos off.

My training for C2S has been sadly none existent – the weather on the Coast hasn’t been wonderful lately (having said that the rain has been great for the gardens and filling the dam for which I am grateful – although being on water restrictions when our dam is 94% full is rather annoying – but, to help fellow Queenslanders, I will accept them so that I don’t have to pay the fine for using a hose !) But, even when the weather was good, I was busy moving pavers and my legs have certainly been paying for all those squats that I did – Al said he thought that I could count that towards my training but I am not so sure !!!!!

As I said before, my eating has left a lot to be desired lately – the whole roller-coaster of the job situation certainly hasn’t helped either. I know I shouldn’t blame outside forces for the choices I made, but that is the way it is. I need to get back in control – I am not there yet but the good thing is that I am working my way towards being in control. My choices are improving each day – I wish I could flick the ‘Control’ switch back on – I tried to but it is just flickering rather than burning brightly !!!!

Have a great day everyone and take care of yourselves !

TFTD : Friends are the little prize in the cereal box of life

TIAGF : New opportunities